Discovering a gem like you
Was like drawing in a crisp, sweet breathe
Of the air on a cold winter morn,
When you can witness the heat escaping your lungs
And the chill filling them to the brim.

You were so unique and astounding.
No being could compare.
I was lost in your eyes for a moment, wandering.
And then I was gone.

But the sound of your voice brought me back.

I only wish it would last a minute longer.
I only want to give you all of myself and more.
I only desire you, my darling.
If you’ll have me.

I want the opportunity
To leave this hellhole
Leave this place and discover
My real home
To sometimes laze around productively
To meet someone I can truly fall in love with
And not just settle for

I want a chance
To pick and choose where my life goes
To show the world
What I can [and will] do
And live each moment only pleasing myself
And those worthy of pleasure

I want the freedom
To ***** up on my own
And not feel bad about it
For just once
To take responsibility
And pay with punishment or reward
For my actions
To gain courage and character

But we don’t always receive what we want. Only what we deserve.

A despair for the soul.
An agony for the mind.
A solemn grave.
A sad cry for eternity.
A scraped and scarred joy.
An abandonment from friends.
A meaningless moan.
A scornful sadness.
An unheard call.
Blankness everywhere.
This is loneliness.

All around me is Darkness
Everywhere.
It is calm, silent, and cold. But it’s there.
in the corner of my eye
over my head
around my shoulders
Darkness surrounds me.
And then…I see a Light.
A bright, warm light getting brighter and larger
Every second that passes me by…
And then it starts to fade…
It gets smaller and smaller until it is only a speck…
So I start running…running…chasing…
Chasing after the Light, now a speck, getting bigger
A once small speck now a fist sized beam of Radiance!
Running…faster…faster…
Chasing…faster…faster…!
Now crashing through what feels like a glass wall and into the Light!
O what and Immaculate Light it is!
Brighter than anything I have ever seen!
Greater than anything I have ever experienced!
Warmer than anything I have ever felt!
And it embraces me with more love than anyone
I have ever met.

I am standing in a barren field.
Water is pouring from the dimmed sky.
The moon is nowhere visible.
I undo my jacket and let it fall to the grass.
The rain penetrates my thoughts.
I welcome the chilling, suffocating wind,
Feel it thrashing against
My stiff, revealed limbs.
Instantly I wish this water was fire.
I wish my heart would stop
I wish my body would turn to dust
I wish I was gone. I wish I was non-existent.

For some reason when I was a child
I used to think a soul was shaped like a sword.

Smooth yet rough,
The blade elegant but could **** at any moment.
Sort of how our words can be said
Gently
Yet cut like knives into another’s heart.

One that is skilled would wield the sword gracefully
Just as one with a kind heart and well-crafted soul
Would not damage another’s dignity
With their words or actions.

When we sin our swords
Become blanketed with blood
From our victims.
Only cleansable
When our enemies bequeath us forgiveness.
Only then can we wash away the blood
And bandage the victim.

It’s funny how people can change
Time grows longer and friends grow apart
Love that appeared as strong as diamond
Crumples like leaves in autumn under your boot.
Children become adults
Adults become elders
Elders become dirt.
A people that once had pure dreams
Turns to corruption and is up in arms
Over colored paper.
Persons that once had a whole lot to believe in
Decide to believe in nothing at all.
And those who thought they had no one on their side
Choose to leave their own side as well.
And then the end begins.