my heart and soul from my past is coming back, with this my inteligence i lack
I dont know if I should carry on or wait it out
All I know is everyday her face I scout
I look around and see my life, no where near great, it doesnt feel right
Theres something missing, someone to be correct
But it seems to her that our love was a defect
Shes coming back I can feel her close, shes the one I crave
I need her most
Its her I taste when everythings gone
"I wanna grow old with you" a bitter sweet song
And until the day she comes back around, I fly high
She was my gravity to touch ground

The withering flower on the unspoken tree
The queen at her caslte begging on her knees.
The sky is loud and the waters calm
The birds no longer sing happy songs
The animals in the forest no longer explore
There is something slithering that much is for sure
Behind all the shadows in the dead of night
no where to be seen, out of mind out of sight.
children laughing with no thought to fear
but the monster is lurking
He starts to get near
The laughter grows louder it echoes the trees
The branches start shaking, down come the leaves
As the children skip playfully down the long grass road
Not knowing there laughter is selling there soul
The monster gets closer eyes glowing in suspense
The moment is closer his body gets tense.
He looks to his right, he looks to his left
The thoughts put to action Get ready get set
The laughter no longer, the playing has stopped
The voices have siezed, the noise now has dropped
The souls have been lifted then drove into the ground
No more laughter, no more playing around.
No more skipping for fun, no more running for joy
no more warm beds to sleep in, or a favorite toy
once a stupid adventure they not knew to make
Not knowing there lives what was at stake

Voice is shakey, fuse is short
I hide beneath my pillow fort
The voice gets deeper, louder if you may
Im safe for now, no time to play
the moments pass and the time is near
its almost over, its a calming fear
The voice is soft, a relaxing vibe
A calming voice, a loving bribe
I know the monster deep within
I can count about your every sin
Theres things you do I cant explain
The things you do, it gives me pain
i hide in terror i have no say
A fights been given, i have to pay
tempers are risen, control is gone
and soon as it starts it doesnt take long
the damage is done, the emotional bit
crimes been succeeded with a fatal hit

Harsh words & violent blows
Hidden secrets nobody knows
Eyes are open...hands are ******
Deep inside I'm warped and twisted
So many tricks & so many lies
Too many whens & too many whys... nobody's special...nobody's gifted...
I'm just me warped and twisted
Sleeping awake & choking on a dream..
Listening loudly to a silent scream
Call my mind...the numbers unlisted
Lost in someone so warped and twisted
On my knees alive but dead
Look at the invisible blood I've bled
I'm not gone my mind has drifted...
Don't expect much...I'm warped and twisted...
Burnt out...wasted...empty & hollow
Today's just yesterdays tomorrow...
The sun died out...the ashes sifted...
I'm still here warped and twisted!

There ahead of me lies a dark road. its rocky, cold; mountain's raise up ahead of me and there's no way but over them. The forces of sloth and temptation surround the base of the cliffs and failure lurks in the shadows cast by doubt. I have walked this road for some time. I have steeled myself to it. Now I turn around and extend my hand to you. I implore you come with me, love. I will tie a rope around your waist and lead u up this path. If you fall i will catch you, but if you refuse to find purchase I will cut that rope with a sad heart. You have chosen to follow me, and if you make it you will find the one waiting for you with there hand out at the end of this journey is the real you. I want to find the real me, come with me love.

Moving on, your more than gone

you showed me the way, by never giving the option to stay

you taught me a great deal, with all that was real

you showed me the lies, helped me learn to hide my cries

you taught me my strength, to you i must thank

the look in your eyes, the coldness it cannot pass by

you tried to play me a fool, i will admit i couldnt keep

it cool

but now that your away, without you i must stay

if not for you, i wouldnt know my feelings were true

you had your fun, you had your games

you gave me hell, you have me your pain

you did as you planned, you did it well

you gave me your pitch, indeed did it sell

you broke my heart, you tore me in two

but if it wasnt for you, i would have never new...

to be alone is not to be lonely, but to be saved

from in which the drama this world craves

to be without you, it didnt seem true

but i found my one true love, and the girl isnt you

Today is a day to remember, the birthday of my best friend forever.
      With her courage her strength, to her I must thank.
For the impressions she lays, to her friends her loyalty always stays.
           shes the one in the back, but the lead of the pack.
Shes the loudest out of all, shes there when we fall
      shes been there from the start, with her big ol' heart.
she will be there 'till the end, because she's a true best friend.

Deep inside, this crazy ride
Where the trees are all withered
There ready to die
Where the ground is not strong and the air is not fresh
Where theres no point in trying, No even a breath
Where the sky is dim and the weathers a mess
Where theres no time for reason, no time for rest
The devil hides out until its time
Even if you didnt do it, you pay for the crime
You may not know where you would go
But you need to get out,
Your body runs slow
You act to the door but there's never enough space
You never move in time, its an unbeatable race
Time to give up, time to give in
You learn to let go, when your living in sin

The horrendous thing is near
indeed something to fear
a face of a child once broken
a fear known but never spoken
a light so dim seeing
sometimes makes hard in believing
The anger inside is screaming
the hideous thing its scheming
In the night the face seems shifted
I think I see it but miss it
No where to turn nothing in sight
I cant see the battle,
but will avoid the fight
In the mists of my adrenaline i seem to forget
This is of no game but more of a bet
The power is there's, they need it known loud
It wants to be seen, in the middle of the crowd
The things need be done is nothing to be said
The attention is earned, the feening has been fed

The head rush I get
Get ready, get set
The fluster in my brain
get  ready, get set, go insane
the beautiful smile on that beautiful face
get ready, get set, let my heart race
the tremble in my body
get ready, get set, this has gotta be
The shakes I get
Get ready get set
The thing I feelI now its real

As the snow flakes settle down my cheek
i get a glimpse, barely a peak
i see your face those eyes on mine
i think of our connection so smoothly entwined
i feel your presence it brings me down, my baby
my gravity to touch ground
like a broken record to be forever played
memories to deep to fade
i remember you now, i remember you then
my angel from above, my heavenly sent
my tears remind me of the memories i lost
unfortunately my heart was the cost
we fought, we battled, the hostility filled
but for the both of us, i could feel the thrill
all that was said, all that was done
it was an act of pleasure, for us it was fun
a life without you is bitter and sour
like the limp of the earth,ineed a sad flower
your my water to grow, your my food to carry on
im withering, away while your still gone

She is every breath i take, I use to sleep the days away now I struggle to stay awake.
Shes the sun shining in my eyes, shes their to catch every tear I cry.
Shes the blanket that keeps me warm at night, When I'm with her the world seems just right.
Shes the smile i see in the sweet sunshine, do anything it takes to keep her mine
Her tears I catch every drop, when shes around, the world. it stops
Her eyes i gaze for hours on end, every time i see her, i fall in love again
Her voice is a sweet sound inside my head, its all i think about when i go to bed.
Its her face I think of when i'm dreaming away
The thought that she is the girl to stay
Nightmares hit the hardest though
in my mind, the horrors grow
Things like cheating and settling score
But I know she loves me, right down the the core
This girl i speak of shes perfect as can be
Who would have guessed she'd settle for me

Addiction, contridiction
  My life in a sum, perplextion, feeling numb
I cant get this threw, not when all i think about is you
  your in my dreams, your in my thoughts
In the back of my mind you continuously haunt
  out of my head, out of my mind
your beauty i need to find
  in my arms once more, like the struggles of the poor
More than the average love, to me you rise above
  your all i want, my memories they taunt
no point to go on, not when your gone

I love you forever and A day
  But I cant be with you
There's no way
  You broke me in two
With all your games
  And all the pain
You feel no shame
  While driving me insane
To you it's fun
  Like the power of frying ants in the sun
Cruel and unusual
  Painful and brutal
To you it's a joke
Not a care in the world what you provoke
  To you it's a game
You hold no shame
  Its the shots you call
With no fear to fall

A time in my life I just want to pause
A mile I could walk just because
a memory saved deep in my mind
A life without you i'd rather not find
A smile on my face when I open my eyes
Our bodies intwine, our legs tie
Your breath warming my face
I kiss your lips, I'm addicted to the taste
"Good morning beautiful" everyday
Your the only one I want to forever stay
I love you baby with all my heart
My beautiful queen its our life to start

As the rain hits the ground, a repetitive sound
things become clear' when there's something you fear.
lightning strikes flashing bright. all i can think, i don't want to blink.
a rumble noise. from up in the clouds, scarey and loud.
power disarm, eyes widen with alarm.
the screams begin to start, must tare us apart.
I always do wrong, in the eyes of the strong.
She punishes thee, so my sister can see.
In the family I am the baby, but she didn't care. Not even just maybe.
A devil comes out in the dead of the night, shes not herself. this cant be right.
still i sit, hit after hit. my eyes are swollen, my lips split.
i got to bed, against the wall i place my head.
constantly checking to see, wanting to make sure i was left be.
in the morning when i awake. my mind plays tricks, it was a dream.
it was fake.
upon the mirror i see my face, black and blue is whats been placed.
I turn to her, those eyes of fire. They calmed since last night.
I think to myself, I know its my fault. she cant get her wealth.
The drugs she consumes, The Toxics.
The fumes.
My future is spoken, my home life was broken.
What i wouldn't give, for a life worth to live.
But my life's been forsaken, all the good deals are taken.
so i sit, remember hit after hit.
yet still i stay, to take care.
To obey.
The golden child disappears, in your eyes i see the tears.
The one that always took care, never got respect.
but tare.
Remember who stayed by your side, and who took off to hide

It started off as butterflies.
No reason. no answers to why.
Something meant to be very small
Who would of guessed i would go and fall
A simple friend meant to be
Now a wife is all i see
With eyes of passion flaring green
Unlike anything i have ever seen
With a heart of gold i can understand
Always there for a lending hand
No matter the problem no matter the time
Your right there to tell its going to be fine
With you heart beating loud against my ear
In your arms there is nothing to fear
With your smile, your laugh, and everything else
My feelings for you I have never truly felt
With every beat my heart speaks loud
I want to yell in the middle of the crowd
My heart was sore at first its true
There was another before i met you
She split my heart,she tore it in too
But you have fixed it, its like its brand new
I have happiness in my mind, happiness in my heart
Who would have known this particular part
It started off as butterflies
No reason, no answers to why

You destroyed me
You picked me apart and took away my being
Not a care in the world about what your seeing
I no longer feel ashamed
For its you to be blamed
I put everyone in pain
Because all i know is your stupid little game
You were my only love
I found someone else, she fit like a glove
I put her threw the game
And for that i feel nothing but shame
She never deserved it
Still she sat there and took every bit
She was the one that was true
I tore away her glue
I broke her heart
I didnt even realize, thats the worse part
She never deserved what i put her threw
From you I never really grew
Even when your not hear
You still **** it up, it seems crystal clear

A weight has been lifted
I feel truly gifted
I faced the fear I once saw
The spot in my heart that was once raw
i'm as free as the day is long
I came out of this, i held quite strong
to the one that once beheld my heart in teeth
To me you do not matter, you have seized
I've moved to a greater power
The ultimate shower
I have all I want all I need
greed is nothing but a seed
It grows on the window sill day by day
Leaves nothing but love to say
My weight has been lifted
I feel truly gifted
A fear I once held close
To my knowledge i needed most
to those dreams of the past
To this moment at last
I give thee to the power in the siky
Finally I am flying high!

Temptations were awaken, steps were over taken.
   But in the end, we could have never been friends.
No matter what you say, I could feel the connection at play.
   I was at war, fighting in the cold as if my heart had tore.
Both to blame, bet yet the game stayed the same.
   The thoughts in my head I couldn't bare, but your remarks didn't make it fair.
No matter what you want to believe, together the tensions was never relieved.
   You felt it too i know, I could feel the vibrations at flow.
The look in your eyes, they speak no lies.
  The tremble in your voice, the feelings far from a choice.
Avoiding eye contact, I know the reason. The fact.
   What you said were true, those words you knew.
Somewhere in your mind, I know myself I will find.
   but But will I dwell?
To soon to tell.
   Will I really care?
Will my heart feel the tare?
   Already did, but that feeling i pushed away. I got rid

I'm sorry she never existed, saw reality but missed it.
Lost in her eyes, stuck in her lies.
The dream that has been created, stands strong.
It cant be faded
Her smile was fake, her I love yous were a mistake.
She said she cared but she cant, her memories in my mind they plant.
A dream i wish i could never wake up from.
Pick up every piece, every crumb.
But reality i need its true.
I need to grasp on.... starting with you

Anger and violence
My minds thinking non sense
Things going sporadic no time to catch it
Its flowing away, going straight down the bay
My mind is of nothing but a dream
Reality is no where
The nightmares of schemes
Empty thoughts with a violent rage
This beast within, it must be caged
My thoughts getting deeper deeper. gone
Now my body... nothing but a pawn

I close my eyes and there you sit, my mind never seems to quit
I remember your touch, oh the body rush
I remember your taste, without you my times a waste
I remember your laugh, your voice
In my mind the sounds rejoice
I remember your smile, your face
With you is my only place
I will never forget
Not a time in the world i could ever regret
If i could do it over again id fix my mistakes
I would have never ran
If you could only feel my heart
Without you its taring apart
If only you knew, my words were true
In my chest i feel pain
Without my girl i always see rain

I want to forget about the distance, if only for an instant.
I want to feel your lips on mine, even if its a lie.
Every time I feel dizzy, faint
In my head leaves a beautiful picture to paint
I want to feel your chest on my head, forever. Like you said
I want to know if your words were true.
when you said " i love you"
I want to know, is it time to let go?
Should i try to forget?
Was my heart the bet?
Your random whispers in my ear
"I'm always here, I'll always be near
Was it all a lie?
Is it time to say good bye?
You always told me, I was meant for thee
Did you mean it at all?
Would you catch me if I fall?
You left without words, you got a mate in return
Are we actually over?
forever unsober
Do I have to move on?
I might not be that strong
I can't let you go, as you already know
Forever I'm yours, no matter the scores

With my thoughts in my head, and my head in my thoughts

I'll walk threw them all, i promise just watch

My head full of thoughts, and my thoughts in my head

i'll think them threw, i'll find what needs to be said

with my head spinning around, and around my head goes

something simple has to show

around my head goes, with my head spinning around

i'll listen real close ill wait for the sound

open your mind, open your soul
Without life to unfold, you can't pay the toll
Live life the way you want, never how you should
because in the end, you'll wish you really could
Time for fun, time for life, if you dont feel like
your living, your not doing it right
we are all connected in every which way
There's a part for everyone in this on going play
Find your purpose, find your reason
Dont just wait for that right season
Life is a blessing, life is a gift
pick yourself up, give a stranger a lift
Do the unthinkable, and do it with pride
For life is nothing of a dream
its an on going ride
Strap yourself in, or let it hang loose
This is your life to live, so you get to choose

No matter how hard I try
  I just cant seem to say goodbye
Its been years
  Still doesnt stop the tears
Thinking of you breaks my heart
  I just wish we could restart
Start a new
  With new sense, and better glue
You really have no clue
  I will always be inlove with you
My feelings will always stand strong
  No matter how long
I will love you until the end
   And if I could do it over, I 'd do it again
You destroyed me
  Worse part is, I still feel  we are meant to be
Hoping someday you will see
  How much you truely mean to me

For my Apiffany i crave, no strength to feel,
Far from brave.
I sit in my corner hoping to see, you here with me.
My life's been forsaken, my sun my light.
Its been taken
Your love i need, i don't just crave.
You take the lead
your in your out, your never long.
Things you do to others seem wrong.
But you and me, we're meant to be.
Two lives without reason
You and i, together we fly.
When alone there is no whole, without my girl i'll surely unfold.
For if my chance comes back around, next to you i can finally touch ground

The contradictions, the productions
He thinks he's slick, it makes me sick
She's so lost she's found, her feet barely touching ground
He holds her strings, pulls them tight as they start to sting
He controls, the power he beholds
In her eyes I see, A pain deep inside she cant let be
her family together is all she wants, but every minute her thoughts haunt
She puts a smile on everyday, The truth is nothing she will ever say

To whom in which my life began, to who in which my life i ran
To the one who got away, There's so much left to say
But for now I sit and wait
Because in my future you i do not need to create
And for the day you come to hear what I have to say
My voice in only a whisper will have one word to embrace

Stay...

It's not about who you are with every day
It's about you think about before you go to bed
Who you dream about in your head
It's about who's image that just appears
Knowing they will never dissapear
Who's heart you hold close
About who you love the most
About who you hold in your heart dear
Even when they're not near
With every inch of pain
They keep you sane
No matter what happens here and there
They are with you until the end

your on my mind all day
a place I would like you to stay
Without your face in my head
I cannot go to bed
Feeling my heart pound
Can you hear the sound?
Setting in my mind
This is a feeling with no one else I will find
starting to break out
you make me so happy i could shout
this feeling with you
Isnt anything less but true