These soot cloaked hands have been tried
They're wrecked and wrinkled by those drenching waters of time
Hands that only wanted to help you and hold you
Seem to have been rejected for their lack of whatever it was you ran off to
Reaching from some dieing branches
Hoping that maybe it won't end like the last time
 
And like those stems my roots are bare
Chapped and crackling in that love lost air
So tired of waiting for a gentle rain
A little relief to forget the pain
Of knowing what it's like to care

Empathizing with the less fortunate
When all I need is a little sympathy
Is for you to take a pinch of time and get to know me

But maybe that's just too much to ask
Maybe I was meant to pan along the river side
Congratulating others on their gold
Secretly it's killing me
Seeing smiles that crush my soul

One day I'll be happy for you
When I found out what happy can be . . .

I'd like to introduce myself to you
One letter, one syllable, one word at a time
I would like to take things slow with you
Play get to know with you
Like I've never been allowed to do before

I want to capture those butterflies
And release them into skies of us
Me and that one
My Mr. Right that has paid your attention in full
That can simmer in the quite between our glances

He would never waste our time on second chances
Because we are what time well spent is

I would like to introduce myself to you
Spell me out with big doe eyes
That only you can read into
That only you would take the years to understand

And looking back
You see me for who I am

Unadorned by outside exteriors
I never feel vulnerable with you
You cloak me in the reassurance that you are here
Here in each moment  that I need you

I would like to introduce myself to you
Planting memories that we can sip on in our bad days
Locked in gazes that I don't care to escape
I can't wait to meet you, or reintroduce

I would like to introduce myself to you

Here's my heart
I'm sorry it's broken
It's riddled with you shaped cracked and crevices
That I've been trying to cram our relationship into
Painfully coming to realization that we just don't fit
So I'm asking you to take it
Because the only thing it's done for me is hurt
But obviously you can see it loves you
Whenever you're lonely or feeling worthless
Just know that it adores you
Which is so much more than I can do
I can't be friends and more than
There's too many wounds in there
And I don't want to have to share you
But you stretch yourself so thin
I can't even get a piece of you
At least not one worth taking
So please just say yes
Not like I do, or I love you too
Even though I wouldn't object
It's just that I see you
Even though you want to
It's just not me
Too young, too distant, too insecure, too sober
Who knows
Just like these cracks I know things aren't right
Tell me, honestly. . .

I don't feel like being poetic but I feel the need to write
Like shades and tints we're dark and light
I'm trying to shine while attempting to hide

This feeling is draining me

Trading my ups for downs and shoving me under
It's exhausting down here
Not that fighting for air but clearly suffocating

Can you hear me

Implied punctuations that are rarely displayed
I'd rather stop and go then direct
So inhale, exhale

I'm running out of things to tell you

Bare with me
This is ****** at its finest
Stripping away my attempts at acceptance

I wish my arms were long enough to reach

Every now and again I notice there's a lot here about me
I wonder if this sheet is too trasparent
Suddenly realizing I'm always running

Maybe we can go for a jog

I guess this is more poetic
I had to write something before these words caught me
Playing hang man with my keyboard

I'm so tired . . .

I just want to scream
Let out an uninhibited roar
Because I've got this overflow in me that no one can see
And it's not like I can just tell you plainly

I need to scream

Please come save me
Hear me, hug me, notice me
Recognize that I'm crumbling inside
Failing on the outside
I can't hide the fact that I am filled to capacity

I need to scream

Just want to become the queen of noise
Deflate my aggravation with one pop
MAKE IT STOP
This everyday irritate in my system
Listen

I need to scream

Can't remember to breathe
I need to release
And they just keep acting like its nothing
I will show you nothing

GOD, I NEED TO SCREAM

You can come away with me
To somewhere
Anywhere but right here
Right now I can take this and I need you
You whoever you are

I need to get this out of my head
This thing and that
That play childhood games in my mind

They're like tripping lillies

How I love you
You whoever you are

I'm just sitting here blooming
Soaking in the rafting waters
Waiting for the sun to come bask with me

I want you to come here with me
Go away with me
To somewhere
Just like right here
Where we can be we
Simply beautiful
And untested
Please don't test it

With this and that
That play childhood games in my mind
I need to get it out of my head

Hello?

Bitter wine in the tone of your voice

Falsely soothing and secure like laughing gas

With this rhythmic beat that lulls me

As I silently sip from your cup and absorb the parts of you

The fermented time spent in your arms

That reveals it's worth in the days stored away

Purple stained lips of pleasure left by your kiss

While I stumble off, dizzied by our bliss

Lost in the whirlwind of promises

Because you give me a faulty sense of self

With the cloak of guzzled dreams we've made

But when we fail the darkness lays it's vail before my eyes

So that tomorrow I forget the shattered glass

And become intoxicated by you again

Drunken with the bitter wine in the tone of your voice

Falsely soothing and secure like laughing gas

A black man souled me my religion with his silhouetted blues and glit'ring worlds

Carved my faith with an old fashioned mic and tilted cap

I was a product of societies blue eyes and blonde hair

Trapped behind the funeral veil being poured into our rivers from the polluted pipes of reality

I watched God's eye as they scanned the deserted souls of our landscape

Wept floods of sorrow through our illusioned damns of hope

Leaving us alone to tend to the graveyard of our dreams

Questioning the mimicing raven, that can only give the answers we never wanted to hear. . .

But crying would be fruitless if we could see what's coming

Like fishing in the mutated waters of society

Shocking, but expected

Then again leaving the hook and closing the window would just make us irresponsible

So we slip into the sleeping game of time, sliding under the covers of trust

Hoping to find a shield from the boogie man in the sheets

Only to find that the boogie man rest here too

Puts good night kisses in the pillow cases to poison my dreams

And along with these realizations comes the drying of my faith in the old fashioned mic and tilted cap

Because the black man that souled me my religion forgot to mention that all that glitters, is not gold

I fell for you like quicksand

Going kicking and screaming through the heart of you

Slipping soul deep in to the thought provoking grains of you

And in this world absolving love I sank

Drifting into the fullness of us

Or what I thought us was

Because the further I delved into you the closer I got to suffocating

The fullness turned to emptiness and there was no room to move

I ceased to exist

I became her

That girl I never wanted to be

But when you can't see, can't breathe, can't move

Hopes and wishes will leave you

Kicking and screaming

See, I fell for you like quicksand

At first resisting then accepting the fact that I was stuck

Caught up in the muk of we

And if you ask me, we were never meant to be

A couple forged by fate

To teach a lesson like burning stoves

You left me with scars too deep to see

But I learned from you

Learned to trap and flow

Like quicksand

I just want to dream for awhile

Step away from the everyday and relax

Because this daily grind has got me perculating

And this isn't a blend I can sip casually

So let me sleep for a minute

Don't make a peep for a minute

This here and now needs to become nonexistent for a minute

I just want to dream for awhile

Take an unsupervised escape somewhere

Anywhere but here

Maybe there I can find myself

Sitting on a beach embracing the sun rays

Where she looks so happy

I look tired

I look like I need to dream for awhile

Get caught up in the image drenched clouds above my head

That are dripping thoughts into my eyes

Weighing down my lids

Just let me dream, if only for a little while

There are things we keep in boxes like hearts and wounds and words

There are things we keep in boxes like feelings and failures and dreams

There are things we keep in boxes like what he should be and who she is

And I have told things to these boxes like I love you and I miss you and goodbye

See I hold things in these boxes filled with shame and trust and joy

And I have left things in these boxes like all those things about that boy

And even though they lay  in boxes most of them I can't forget

But there are worlds of me in these boxes soaked in tears and some regret

But I have packed these things in boxes and I have stacked these things in boxes

Because if I can pack these things in boxes I can keep them safe and secret

Because if I can stack these things in boxes they will keep me safe and secret

Yes, there are things like me in boxes