By: Amanda Lynn Carter
3/17/15
Inspired by: JWF

Alone again,
Though really it's still
I never had you
And I never will

You're not even real,
Just a wish and a dream
I only saw
What I wanted it seems

You're not who I thought
You aren't what I need
But I still love you
And want you with me

Not that it matters,
You've made it clear
To you I'm a friend,
Not someone more dear

You enjoy my company,
In and out of bed,
But any more than that
Has just been in my head

And in my heart
Where you've taken a place
When I think of love
I now see your face

I fell in-love,
And I'm falling back out,
But it's a long painful journey;
A difficult route

So please be gentle
As I grieve for you;
For the loss of a dream
That will never come true

At night I cry myself to sleep
And pray that I forget him
All day through I masquerade
As if I don't still miss him

I think about him every night
And tears roll down my cheek
He left without so much as goodbye
Someone else's love to seek

He said he'd love me forever
Well that didn't last very long
We'd never split he told me
I guess he told me wrong

What happened to all those promises
He made along the way?
To love and cherish and hold me
And by my side to stay?

They're broken now; just like my heart
With pieces scattered around
He told me so many beautiful things
But he lied a lot I've found

Worthless, useless
Helpless, alone
Uncared-for, forgotten
Unwanted, unknown

A burden, an anchor
A cross to bear
A big obligation
You wish wasn’t there

That’s all that I am
And all I can be
I can’t pull my weight
Or make you love me

A weight on your chest
Not letting you breathe
A cloud full of rain
That you just want to leave

Most people don’t notice
As I’m sinking down
Some say “Cheer up!”
Wow! I’m all better now

Thanks for the help
I’m glad you were here
I’m no longer sad
You've filled me with cheer

Is that what they think?
That’s all that it takes?
They tell me “cheer up”
And my heart no longer aches?

I wish it were that simple
A magical cure
Everything is better
After hearing those two words

But really nothing’s better
If just proves that you don’t understand
You've always stood on solid ground
But I’m sinking in quicksand

Now I’m sinking faster
Your words cut to the bone
I know it wasn't your intent
But you made me feel more alone

You say “cheer up”
Why didn't I think of that?
I guess you think
I want to feel this bad

Or else you think I’m stupid
Why else would I be so sad?
If being happy were so easy
Wouldn't everyone be glad?

So next time please think
Before you say “cheer up”
If someone’s already sad
It could make them just give up

There’s no one to hold me
To tell me “It’ll be alright”
No one to love me
Or to kiss me goodnight

I’m always alone
With no one to care
Longing for someone
Who isn’t there

Wishing for love
On every star
Looking for comfort
From near or far

Hoping for someone
Who will honestly care
Waiting for someone
Who will always be there

Wanting to love
And be loved just the same
For someone to know me
Not just my name

Longing and searching
In vain so it seems
Only ever finding love
In my dreams

Am I destined
To be alone?
To wonder through life
Unloved and unknown?

So hungry for love
Someone to call mine
Desperately hoping
For some kind of sign

Something to tell me
He’s on his way
He’s searching for me
And he’ll find me one day

That someone will love me
That someone will care
That I won’t be alone
That he will be there

Waiting and hoping
For it to be true
I guess for now
That’s all I can do

Anger takes over
I’m out of control
Righting an injustice
My only goal

I’m not thinking straight
I’m acting dumb
My heart’s so impassioned
That my brain is numb

Fighting for vengeance
With a righteous wrath
Anger has blinded me
To any other path

Not thinking it through
I’m not being smart
I’m not using my brain
Just following my heart

There will be a price
I’ll have to pay
But I’m too angry
To care today

I’m not in control
Just along for the ride
Driven by Anger
With Right on my side

What’s right and what’s smart
Aren’t always the same
‘Cause life isn’t fair
And victims get blamed

It isn’t right
But you can’t change the facts
Sometimes you shouldn’t
Fight back when attacked

I’ll have to pay
For my actions today
My fault or not
I’ll pay either way

Losing control
Always costs quite a lot
Whether you’re right
Or whether you’re not

So fight for control
Hold onto the wheel
Try to steer straight
However you feel

‘Cause if you don’t
It’s you that will pay
For letting control
Of the wheel get away

Lonely and lost
In a world full of fears
I cry and call out
But nobody hears

Or else they don’t care
Which is even worse
People don’t tell you
But apathy hurts

So I sit and I cry
My eyes full of tears
Lost and helpless
Alone with my fears