Wanting to let go
to move forward
forgetting the past
meeting the future.

Why can't I give it up?
Am I addicted to the pain?
Drawn like a moth to a candle?
Forever destined to hurt?

Wanting to reach out
ask for help
but who would understand?

The candle offers hope
a chance
   at love?
   at life?

It also burns,
hurting so much...
Is it my own fault?
Should I have stayed away?
Why does it have to hurt?

How much pain will there be
when will enough be enough?
Will blood need to be shed
to see the light?

Wanting to walk away
to give up
to quit.
But the flame still beckons..

Tracing lightly,
   as if drawing on sand
   leaving only a slight indentation
Pushing harder
   leaving a line behind
Hearing the words
   "I hate you"
    over and over
    trying to scratch out the pain
Pressing harder,
    feeling the pain of those words
    gently acknowledging
Looking down,
    seeing the angry line
Why doesn't it help?