It’s not giving up when you let go.
You tried, right?
You held him fast in your arms until
You were only clutching air.
You still wish for him there.
You may ache for him in the night
Though your loneliness was fiercer
With his breath in your lungs.

Yet like the morning fog
He has disappeared,
Leaving the warmth of day
In his wake

Please come save my body from my soul.
Even my fingernails ache with the weight
Of those thousand wine-induced truths.
Every eyelash carries a lost dream,
Neverlands and rain on windshields
In which I go nowhere in the night in a car
I can’t drive.

And my calloused heels!
Imperfections rendered by faulty directions,
U-Turns,
And Leaps of Faith

I’m surprised when my chest still rises and falls
And that breath still whistles through my nose
When all these bricks lay there,
Heavy and unmoved.

My body will someday reject me,
I fear.
Too many sleepless nights and coffee cups
Will shatter me

So please save me

In the heart of the rain in the middle of the night;
In the cocoon of my blankets,
In the warmth of solitude-
My world tingles with a drunken glow.

The tilt of the edges of my consciousness draws out my thoughts
Like blood,
And suddenly I ache for the Seine-
Her quiet waves and raucous shores
So full of life and dripping dreams…

In the silence of my dizzy memories I am struck
With wanderlust,
So fierce I awaken with one shoe tied and key in hand
Pleading for anything but here.

It is too easy to leave, now.
Beyond what was once audacious and beyond
The clear, raging sea-
The unknown calls to me.

In the core of my body in the center of my soul
I now know home
And it is far, far from any place I have ever seen
It is heartbreakingly beautiful and
fleeting

Sound.
If only there were sound.
You have grown weary of words
And all I want is an explosion.
Sound,
Make a sound-
I’ll listen to the notes and crescendo and rubato
Of your voice
If only you would speak

If I must scream until your ears go numb
And unfold my anger in a river thicker
Than molten lava, I will singe your skin
Until you listen-

Sound.
Just a word,
Just a chord
Just a plea, if it must be
And perhaps we can stitch the threadbare seam
That now divides us.
I no longer understand the twist of your shoulders
Or the angle of your eyelashes
Like I once did.
You can whisper.
You can wait.
Please,
Don’t be afraid.
Or else the silence will one day
Break me

Often, I am a bluebird.
In the holes of trees I build my home
of twine small as bones.

Indeed, the air tumbles like memory
soft and worn, twisted like string;
and in my wings I capture the silence
In-between
all the trage     dy

When I die my body will soon forget me
Just a passerby, blue feathers streaked
on a sidewalk.
The soul will slip out of my chest, yes,
and yet I'll still fly
anyway

The days keep passing, don't they?
Even when I watch with my unblinking eyes
the stoic clocks that only emanate innocence.

Time passes slowly, here.
The languid ways with which the water careens
and sways
-and how even the air stands still
wisping softly between our fingers
and our hair.
The space between then and now grows
smaller, yes
despite the sorrow that comes with
dwelling and indifference.

And each day, I and the sun
will do that which is impossible-
endure
patient
ly

I long for a different piece of you every day.
Today, it is your laughter.
Tomorrow, it will be your hips and your gentle jumps
When I caress them.
The day after that I will miss your eyebrows
Along with your eyes, nose, ears, chin
And everything in
Between.

Every day I will ache for your music
Because it, too, is in my body
And I can’t help but miss the melodies
That you once tapped across my spine,
That sweet cry that called out:
She is mine

Some sparrow stirring in me yearns
For the nest of your embrace
That once rocked me to sleep.
For once I had awoken I only wanted to be found
In the deep solitude of you

I still leave half the mattress and covers unoccupied
Perhaps wistfully wishing you’d fill all my empty
Spaces
The ones between my knees and in
My dreams

The day I run out of things about you to miss
You’ll be back in my arms again, whispering
*She is mine