Even among a thousand wild plants and blooming trees
I could never be more at home
Than between the dying flowers in your window
And your collection of foreign coins
Taped to the wall like distant memories.
“They’re silly” you said
But when you told me
I saw more stars in your eyes
Than I’ve ever seen in the sky.
When I noticed your lips shake, you simply told me:
“I want your thoughts in my hands
So I can mould them and shape them like sunflowers”.
I wanted you to know everything about me.
The shape of my tongue.
The feel of my elbow.
The taste of my smile.
So I held you for hours while you tickled my past
with your presence and promised me
that the eternal sunshine in my eyes
Would never die.
In the morning I ate eggs and carrots
While watching cartoons.
You were naked in the kitchen
Trying to spare me the harm of watching you smile
You know that your smile
Would create a burning fire in my chest.
We danced to the sound of your kitchen radio.
I wanted to feel every molecule in your body
And every frequency in your voice.
I longed for your skin
Because it felt so warm the night before.
You smelled like oceanwater
But that’s because you shower in cold water.
I know that.
I know you.
I gave you my heart and soul
The day I met your lips beneath the icecold winter moon.
“One day you’ll fly and leave me” you said.
You knew I had searched years
For wings to carry the weight of my heavy thoughts
Your wings had carried all my hopes
And all my fears and all my knowledge
I had sewn them into the feathers
To make room for unfinished poems in my head.
You know that.
You know me.
My unforgivable love for your mind
For your fingers between my ribs and in my hair
Made it possible for you to lift me
And make me soar without any wings of my own.
“That’s okay” I said.
“My feet on the ground are what give me reason
to love someone who already soars”.
You then kissed me aggressively.
Wore my entire life story on your skin
And carried me to bed
My eyes were as vivid as your lips
And we were heavy and sweaty
And utterly exposed with naked feelings
Entirely and unnecessarily obsessed with each other.
Combined in endless kisses and moans
And that morning we created a world
Were you were the only truth I could have ever known.
You flowers died that morning
And so did your love of my missing wings
And my ribs and my hair
You only heard the sound of my thoughts cracking
With images of what would have happened
If you had lent me your wings.