Remember, remember
When you dismissed my cantankerous dispositions?
When you assumed my sanity was in remission?
When you presumed (my own) death was my mission?

Just remember, remember
That with my moods came justifications.
That my wits were on hold because of a blood relation.
That with my sorrow came vast maturation.

I have been so good.

You have been good.

Approval for the disapproving,

What more could I ask for, really?

I have told you a thousand times,

Rainbows don't make charity

And high beams mean...

*******.

You don't listen.

I am a child.

Please stop telling me

That I mean the world

When clearly

I mean too much.

He was real.
Made of blood.
Made of bones.

I shut my eyes
to see more clearly.

The illegitimate legitimizing
of a woman.

I tasted salt
and a cold body.

You tasted regret
and a sleeping beauty.

Oh hello!
High.

How aren't you?
Well.

Well?
Still the same.

Why don't you do something about it then?
I am doing nothing but everything.

Hm.
Well then, aloha.

Hi?
Not anymore.

You really think you deserve this treatment, don't you?
Yes ma'am.
No sir.
Right away.
I'll remove that child immediately.

To you I'm a worm.
To me you are excess.

I guess you don't need to keep your shoes on.
That is totally normal.
Kick your feet up.
You bought all of these chairs.
(Probably all of the ones in my apartment, too.)

Three napkins is not enough.
Oops.
I am clearly a *****.

No I don't regret my tattoos.
But speaking of regrets,
slow down on that pinot.
Close your purple mouth,
I am embarrassed for you.

Check please.
See you tomorrow.

All I ever wanted was to feel the bliss of nothingness on my shoulders
and at last I can truly recognize a semblance of happiness.
What it is like to wade through life alone
without the yearning for spectacular conjectures
to refute any particular notions of my waning smiles.
Just born, but barely worn down
and I still have miles to give
and seasons to learn.

You brought me my favorite flowers
and it was nice for a while.
'Till they melted.
They slid beneath the table,
into the cracks in the floorboards.
Crept slowly through the imperfections in the foundation of
the house we built together.
Slowly seeped into the soil
where tiny insects laid their eggs.
The little eggs hatched
and the babies started to feed on the earth around them
because it was all they could find.
The earth that contained remnants of my favorite flowers.
Baby insects grew into tiny vessels
travelling up to the air
with my precious cargo.
They made their way up towards the light,
through the soft soil.
But they are too big now
to fit through the damaged foundation
and only one manages to squeeze through.
He made his way through the cracks in the floorboards,
and up onto the kitchen table
where I smashed him against my palm and licked his sweet juices.

He takes a piece of me every time I go
but the machinations are superfluous
and I have more and more to give.

Tick tock.
                                                                                                                                                              Tick tock.

                                                                                       Tick.
                                                                                       Tock.
Tick.

                                                                                                                                            Tock.




                                                                          Tick.






Tock.
                                                                                                                                                              Ring, ring.