You told me that I should move on and did,
But the truth is that I still love you kid.
You're happy and so am I but it still isn't the same,
My heart can't love another like I loved you without you it's like nothing is right; I feel strange.
Don't get me wrong I like who I'm with but part of my heart won't let you go,
I will never forget the day you ended it; the day you stole my heart,
but I'm finally off to a new start.
Your kiss still remains on my lips and I still want nothing but the best,
You were better than all of the rest.
Just remember that cowgirls don't cry,
But I want you to know that when you left a part of me died.
If only you knew how much I still dream that you'd be mine; your smile will forever light up my sky. Don't forget the Sunday morning breakfast in bed,
Though you said you loved me too I was too blind so I believed all of those beautiful lies that you fed.
I remember bringing you roses and silly little love notes just because but deep inside I knew I had to remind you to stay with me,
I know it was pathetic but I all I wanted was for you to see.
I remember how the fair lights lit up your face and how happy it made you; I can't tell you what that did for me,
I remember thinking that maybe at that exact moment that my dreams had come true; you loved me too.
Even if it only lasted for that one moment that moment is something I will keep with me always.

They keep telling me how proud they are of me and sometimes I wish I could be as proud,
It just feels like I'm lost in a crowd; of endless faces.
There are days when I feel like nothing or no one could hurt me again,
Then later I break down and feel the pain; of leaving them all behind.
Sometimes they tell me it will be alright,
But sometimes I don't believe them but I won't give up without a fight.
Growing up was hell but somehow I survived,
and to my own disbelief I'm still alive.
The constant writing and rhymes keep me sane,
but sometimes I wish I was on a plane; taking me back to my hicktown.
Maybe it's because I'm living a normal life without all of the yelling and constant mistakes,
maybe life is giving me a break.
Sometimes I wish I never had to go through it all,
but sometimes to get back up all you have to do is fall.

Dear heart you'll be okay and survive the pain,
Don't try to forget the memories for they will always remain.
Listen and get lost in the music for it is all you have left,
and steal another's heart like it was theft.
Nine thousand miles away is everything you know and love and though it kills to be so far,
Don't try to end it all with another scar.
Live for today 'cause tomorrow may not be,
However everything does have a cost; nothing is free.
I know I love you hurt cause you thought it was the truth,
Don't let it destroy your inner youth.

Life as I know it has changed,
and I feel like all it's left me to to be estranged.
I've quit my bad habit; but I still need you there,
Without my friends I don't have a prayer.
I've tried to hang out with you but you're too busy or won't even talk really.
I'm sorry I have imperfections that you may not agree with,
I guess our friendship became a myth.
When she hurt you I was there and I told you that I'd be there no matter what but I guess that isn't enough.

We used to talk and spend time together; but now I'm just a stranger, you've left me in the dark,
You might not care anymore or have forgotten; but all of my friends leave a mark.
I'm not sure what I've done,
I just hate loosing friends and now I feel like I'm the only one,
who actually cares.

You'll probably just ignore this poem but that's your decision;
I can't stop you from ignoring me,
I just want to know what I did to make you flee.

Whatever it was I'm finally giving up; I'm sorry I somehow let you down.
Loosing friends is one thing I can't stand,
Being your friend is something in which I feel banned.

Set me free from all of this pressure; Its breaking me,
I hope that someone hears my plea.
I'm miserable.
I want to have happiness and joy,
My life I want to enjoy.
Why do you expect so much?
I feel so out of touch.

I'm a burden; this I know,
I just don't know if this feeling will ever go.
Let me figure it out; Its not your choice,
Its like I don't even have a voice.
I want to make mistakes and learn from them,
yet me you condemn.

I don't want all to see,
the ugliness I have in me.
On the surface I may seem strong,
deep down, I know I somehow don't belong.

I cant take all of this; I'm at breaking point,
As hard as i try it seems like all i do i disappoint.
I used to be strong,
I just want a place where nothing always goes wrong; I'm not quite sure where i belong.
All these secrets i keep inside,
If it all comes to an end i guess i could say i tried.
Could you take it all away?
Could you make it disappear?
My innocence has already been taken,
I have been forsaken.
I will try once more to stay strong and hold my head up high,
and just one more time i will try.

Everyday i put on this facade,
When people ask whats wrong all i can do is nod.
I'm a danger to myself but please stay,
The last thing i'd want to do is cause dismay.
The hospitals aren't fun; please dont send me back,
If you do ill have another panic attack.
I know I'll never be the kid you wanted me to be,
On anything, we'll never agree.
As i feel the blood trickle down i smile,
I know i'll later regret it but for now its worthwhile.
Its been that way for years,
Everytime i try to quit i do it again; it brings me to tears.
So hear me out,
Cutting, its something i cant live without.