And then he left
It shot me point-blank.
His words on My screen.


The gnarles in the pit of my stomach
Twisting, turning, a bright burning
My lungs were a popped party balloon
Only good for a short while
Used for the looks, in a crooked nook
To dress up the ugly
My Fingers numb
Cold and bitter
Slicing the texts with razor sharp pain

"Ok"
I said
"Goodbye"

The memories were vivid
Clawing and clinging
You did it so well

And in the deep dark place
That i call Alyx

I took those last seconds in
Breath in, breath out

I poured my lungs out
I Screamed into that pillow
Held myself in my blanket
Still wearing your adiadas tee

You did it so well

Mascara running
Trying to get away from me
Like you did

I sat in the quiet place
Of my frayed brains
Scrubbed raw

I am a nuclear blast
Of what i should be
And what i really am

Am i a what?

I can't say i miss you
Or that i need you
Or that i want you
Or that you are my other half

But what i can say is

When you left me
When you shot me point-blank

When you left my head pounding
And spinning like a top
When you left me with a stomach of acid
When you left me with numb, gnarled fingers


You also left yourself

Letting you go
Tearing the limbs from my torso
I can't tell you how
Agonizing it is

Ripping you away gently
Bleeding you out from my life
It's killing me

But

I know it's the wisest option
To let you go
Because through the suffering

We learn the best about ourselves
And learn how to love each other again

And in those days;
we were silent
Flutters of empty; hymns of hollow.
And in those moments;
Space was sticky
And in those times;
We sat ticking away

DON'T READ THE NEXT SENTENCE.








Oh you little rebel I like you.

They creep
And crawl
Up and down my walls
Skittering from the light
Embracing my shadow
They sit suspended in a dark corner
But oh
Such a pretty sight
Keeps me company
In all hours of each day
Shifting in and out of my focus
But is transparent to the world
My little thoughts
With all of their branches
Reaching and snagging my entirety
But oh
How they tempt me so
Because they know which one is
My most charished, worn down, set in
I hold it in the locker of my mind
It's safe
Even from you