It feels like my soul has been
Ripped apart
Clawed out
And dragged away

But that can't be right
Because I never had one in the first place.

I am being split, torn apart.
This is disintegrating, dissolving, dissociating.

I feel too much until I feel nothing at all. The misery and anguish vanish just as the first tear falls.
This is overwhelmed, numb, bipolar.

I starve and then binge. I want control but release it once I get it.
This is grasping, reaching, flailing.

I need to go out and do something, but as soon as I take a step toward the door, I retreat to my bed. I long to taste freedom, and I am the one confining myself.
This is incarceration, entrapment, suffocation.

I am ashes scattered on a raging sea, dead and fragmented and irreparable.
*Not even all the king’s men could put her back together again…

There once was a girl
Who hid herself from the world
She put on mask after mask
And faked every smile

But at sunset
She would unwrap the layers of her chrysalis
And sprint to the window
Looking frantically for that first glimmer of light
Wishing, hoping, praying on its dim sparkle

And she’d spend the rest of the night
Gazing into the evening sky
Drowning in the expanse of galaxies
Tracing imaginary constellations with her fingers
Searching desperately for a little star of her own

She lost herself many times
Pursuing the twinkling specks in the distance
Until she finally met the sun
A boy who reminded her that one star burns brighter than all the rest
He overpowered the twilight of her heart
And ignited fire from the ashes in her veins

Now she spends her nights
Eagerly awaiting the dawn instead

And when the hands on the clock move too slow
The minutes stretching into weeks
His reflection in the imperfect moon is her comfort
Like the brush of his hand gently kissing her cheek

I have a friend who
Shines brighter
Loves stronger
Dreams bigger
Than most.

But this blinding star
Suffocates her radiance
Refuses to let the candle eat itself away
And she dwells in the comfort of midnight
The brighest eclipse

Because the truth is
She’s saving her beauty
To give to one who is the color of sky right before dawn
She gravitates toward shadows
And lights up only for the darkness

Now she has found her counterpart
He illuminates her world
Unveils her hidden spark
And uses it to ignite an inferno
But he battles a legion of demons
Trapped in a deadly war against himself

Only he can awaken her
His vibrant smile erasing her mask of smoke
And only she can save him
The blaze in her eyes conquering the monsters that creep in the corners of his mind

Some may think it’s sad
That they only burn together
When no one else is around to see

And others say it’s dangerous
That their intense blend of passion and pain could destroy the universe

But I think it is perfect
For their love has captured
The elegance of charcoal
And the purity of ivory
On a single canvas

So I guess it’s true
That night is the one true love of day
Too much darkness can be deadly
But too much light can burn you away

I stumble
Tripping over knotted roots
Slashing my shins across thorns
Panting from sheer exhaustion
Tasting the salty burn of sweat on my lips
Collapsing under the pressure
Crushing dead leaves underfoot…

…and all sense of hope.

How did I get here?
And more importantly, how do I get out?

Only you can save me from the this wilderness
This desolate abyss
Reach out
Please
You owe it to me

For I got lost here searching for you.