There’s a vague sense of longing
that provokes the heartstrings
of the soul, in an unexplainable combination
of warmth and bitterness. It begs for a name,
but no word has found a way
to render it.

I mutter the crude anthem
of a perpetual Lazy Sunday,
banking on the anticipated
accomplishments, that dissolve
in laziness, by the light
of Monday morning.

I tried to speak of society
(but my words of the world
have rendered themselves redundant)
I tried to speak of love,
but my body has grown stiff
and numb to any attempt
of endearing touch
(my heart much the same…)
And I’ve long and regretfully acknowledged
that I’ve been put at a distance from the world.

There’s a strange sense of longing,
tingling in my unconscious soul,
emerging, coated in dusty residue
from its time incarcerated in storage.
It beckons me to feel the provoking tingle
of the fresh and bitter morning air,
and all I can do is stare out the window...

He stares out the window
for hours,
that little stray cat we’ve taken in.
Watchful and serene by the warmth
of the daylight,
contemplating the sun.
His belly has grown plump since that
bitter December day, his fur now white
and clean—
And though we know he loves us when
the winter nights grow cold,
I can’t blame him.
The windowsill littered with fur,
As every warm, lazy summer day,
From out in the backyard you see
two curious yellow eyes,
trying to remember the smell
of freedom.

Such a grave silence
that's come between you and I,
growing like cancer.

I gild myself
in a sheet of
plastic, thick enough
so that no one
can see through…

Like an Easter egg shell;
I let them hollow out
the sloppy insides,
and paint my delicate skin.

I am no individual, I am
cultivated, harvested,
like the simple product I am.
Protect me: my flesh is delicate,
They’ll throw me away
at the first sight of a crack.

You consume my comrades,
But I am lucky—
I am now but a pretty little shell,
Painted pink and lush to conceal the sallowness
of my frail and immaculate skin.

I love you
irrationally, without reason,
And no matter how I try to cure myself
of you,
My eye stays drawn to the outline
Of your worn face and dissonant mind,
Your flaws that remind me that
We are all human—

I shouldn’t love you with this
hemmed up heart
I’ve let you destroy,
then sew back
so carelessly together
So that every stich, every oozing
Drop of messy adhesive keeping me
was by you.

And there is no rational reason
I should still love you,
and not the man who has not the heart
to ever intend the slightest of sin…
The pale angel who never deserved
some dysfunctional adulterer ,
who remains drawn to the dark and hateful
lust, of her favorite demon.

And perhaps us sinners deserve eachother;
I’ve grown to watch you live off of ***** by the
bottle and your abused old guitar—
And never could I pull myself together to fit
my shattered edges of disarray
into the blunt puzzle of their world.

They decry us in the absurdity
of our very existence,
A drunk and a misfit, children of a lesser
creation, as we stand against the bitter winds of hate.

You and I grew
up by the outskirts
of their society, with no other
choice, but to observe…

We pretended to hide
from a cruel
and indifferent world,
that was never looking
for us to begin with.

Turbulently, we grew
into erratic teenagers,
pillaging our world
with a vengeance.
My youthful rage dulled
with the waning of age, but
you never ceased to seethe.

I stumble by a lake
to find you there;
flinging pebbles to break
the surface, distorting
the reflection of yourself
you’ve never wanted to see.
In the settled water I greeted the
uncertain face, solemn as I was
to share a likeness…
And hesitantly I asked you
what brought you here.

We both said nothing
(we knew you had nowhere else to go)
All we could tell the world
they stole from our tongues;
The reflected face distanced her glance
from you, an aloof and bitter woman
of the rest of society,
and beyond your bent knees
the water had never settled,
revealing cryptic shards
of a jigsaw puzzle face.

Yet in that water I had drowned
a part of myself;
my animosity, and pride
against a mechanical world
that never pitied me…
Your vengeful heart
stayed forever smoldering,
never forgiving a careless god
that let you suffer, blinded
by the walls surrounding
your lesser world.

I locked my Heart up in a musty closet,
we assumed it wouldn’t mind.
It had exhausted itself to ruin, resigned
to a useless slab of meat.
My brain muttered the order to me, sighing
As it sat counting to its day of demise.
Wallowing in a puddle of ennui,
Decaying, incarcerated within
the dankness of the skull.

We suffocated my Ambition,
short after seeing the dull, hopeful light
Which was then washed away
by the blinding god-rays of the All.

We staggered away to behold the spectacle,
Came back astonished, undermined…
Our bodies were then withdrawn from us,
our existence reduced to molecules

We saw a speck of ourselves on the Universal Map,
Like idiots we stared in disillusionment
when we knew that all our feeble Eyes could ever see
were mere inches in the legend.