I thought I saw a cage

I thought I saw iron bars covering my escape

I thought I saw the walls being built around me, the spaces smaller and smaller until I was crushed

I thought I saw a prison

I thought I was going to be held captive until I died

And I was wrong

I'm free like a bird

But then I realised

Not all prisons are cages

I sing my lonesome song
Calling for someone else who knows these words
I used to be in a choir of voices
Many like mine

Now?

A Lonely soloist
Acapella in my solitude
Far and wide these lyrics travel
No one ever completes my duet
But that won't stop me from trying

The ghosts that muted the songs of many try and mimic my melody

Hoping to entice me to them

they will cut me open and tear me apart

Ignoring my cries and pleads as they carry on their experiments

Vivisected

Stripped of all emotion

They will steal my voice

My breath

Use me as a slave before I am thrown away

Useless

They rendered many speechless

But not me

I'll not be fooled

Their webs stole everyone away

Why I'm alone is them

Those ghosts laugh

Awful voices

Winey

Nothing important to say

I'll swim through this vast sea

alone

For however long I need

Before I find that one

That completes my harmony

Why?

Why did I do it?
Why did I start?
Why didn't I use my better judgement?

Oh I'll regret this
Every time that's what I say
"You'll regret that"
I say as I continue
Why don't I listen?

Oh my own selfish intentions and fear of getting caught
I can't walk down the same roads and streets because I'm afraid it'll happen again

I'm sorry for what I've done

But I just can't help myself

Stupid impulses and spontaneous action leads me to do the despicable

my arrogant "woe is me" attitude
I can't see what's wrong  until its too late

And why?

Why did I do it?

I ask

As it happens again