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Alyssa Beddoe Aug 2012
The Jam Jar
Breakfast taught me a lesson this morning,
As I waited for my toast I watched my brother
Struggle with the jam jar,
He squeezed as hard as he could, he shook the
Bottle wildly, trying to get the jam out.  
The air bubble in side popped and the jelly pored out.
I watched as he smothered they jelly on his bread,
Just staring at the pile left that he didn't need.
He had more then enough but did not share with me
Instead he through it in the garbage.
It made me think of life when people work there
Buts off and get more then they need and they don't
Know what to do with it all so they just throw it away.
He handed me the jar that was now almost gone.
I shook and shook that thing I scraped the walls
Clean, but I didn't even have enough for one piece
Of bred. It made me think of all the poor people out
There that work there hardest and barley get anything
To survive on. I was about to give up when m mom walked
In and gave a full jar of jam. She reminded me that there are
Caring people out there watching out for us.
Alyssa Beddoe Aug 2012
The one man that I love the most
Has hurt me in a way I didn't know
He possibly could.

I don't understand why he would
He was the one that rescued me
He made me believe again
I had hope because of him
He helped me over my fears
Made me believe I could in fact
Trust men again.

He was a giant he was big and strong
But he was as soft and gentle as a teddy bear
He was raised to be a gentleman
I want to blame it on the heat of the moment
Maybe that all that it was or maybe it's a whole
Lot more.

Two days before we tried something new
He was gentle and coaxing,
I enjoyed it, it was fun
He new what my past was like
Behind locked doors at night
Ware screams could be muffled by pillows
And pain could be sealed with medication.
But today when he didn't stop,
And his teddy bear side disappeared
And his strength really showed
As he pinned me to the bed
And fed me false lines to coax me into
Letting him to continue.

Only when I burst out crying
And parents footsteps flying
Did he realize what he had done
He hurt me in a way I never new manageable
He mentally and physically scared me.

I want to believe that it was just the heat
Of the moment that got in his head
That he wasn't really a bad person
This whole time.
That will shatter me much worse
Then this does now.  And because
I cant accept that I still love him,
But I don't know how much longer
I can.
Alyssa Beddoe Aug 2012
My righting comes and goes
But when darkness is here, inspiration
Why is that so.
Alyssa Beddoe Aug 2012
Tears billow down my cheek bones
My nose flares searching for air
My scream barley escapes through the crack
Between his figures, pressed so hard
Against my bleeding mouth.
Pain shoots all over me he has pinned my
Arm down in a way it should not be able to bend
I fight as much as I can but I'm nothing compared
To his strength I cant even lift my head.
Pain shoots all over me, he tares and rips
Me open waves of blood soak the bed sheets.
The pain is to much for me to bear
I slip in to the darkness that capes the room
My breathing slows, my eyes shut I hear
the squeaking for the floor boards fall silent
I feel as the bed becomes still.  I hear a small whimper
From the sound man that was caught up in the heat
Of the moment come to turns of what he just did.
The room falls silent and still, I watch from above
As his silent tears fall.
Alyssa Beddoe Aug 2012
Painting a picture
Hi there, I wanted to try something new
I would like to paint a picture in your mind
With swift brush strokes of my words as my
Paint.

Before I start take a second and shut your
Eyes and think of something that is bright and beautiful
Something that warms your head to your toes, even
Your soul.

Take a couple of deep soothing breaths in through
Your nose, sit there and focus on that feeling you have
As the cold air rushes through you, calming the
Strom inside.  Breath out now let the dragon
Fly free, let it warm your frozen hands before
We start.

Now before we start we must choose are style
Would you like to paint with big chunky paint brushes
Using all the rich colors to engulf the paper in a fire
Consuming the tiny village as the dark sky billows with the
Black smoke of people crying and pleading for help.

Or would you like to go with some colored pencils
We could draw with all the light and soft colors
Of a cool spring breeze swishing through the
Golden locks of a young ******* a swing set with
Her mommy on tow.

We could also use water paints
Make a beautiful ocean seen  ware
The water laps up the sand, leaving
Shells and sparkly glass waiting to be
Discovered by curios eyes.

I think these all sound like great ways to paint
A picture for you, but I have another idea in mind.
What if I use the swift little  brush quick on its tip
to make a human  being on the page.  The brush would
Dance over the page painting a man tall and lean man
Standing out in the wilderness with his hands folded
Over his chest making a heart shape.  

The smile on his face is so bright and cheery it made the
Birds sing a little tune. His curly locks of Carmel shaped
His face covering one of the blue crescent moon's of an eye.
His face was chiseled perfectly.

I switch to a tiny brush adding all the details to the man
Like the missing button on his untuck red and white
Checkered shirt, just like a farmer would ware.
The tiny ripped seams on the ankle of his faded jeans.

I put down my brushes crack my hands and take out the
Pencils. My hand sways and maneuvers around the page
As if there was an actual breeze moving my hand so
I draw the grass clinging to his shoes as if never to let go
Others sway more to the left looking away from the human
In fear. Blue swirls enchant the sky ruffling the blue jays
Feathers.

Behind the man the sky becomes a beautiful pink and red
The clouds get in the way of the sunset and become giant
***** of cotton candy lazily floating across the sky waiting
To be eaten by a hungry rainbow.

My markers etch out a beautiful sunset as the rays
Reach across the earth hugging the boy in warmth
From behind. I switch back and forth from pencil to marker
Adding in the details of the swishes and twirls of the flame
Coming off the ball of the sun minting in to the earth atmosphere.

To finish of the picture I go back to ware the delicate hands
Of the man make a heart shape over his chest. I take the chunky
Brush from before and make swift but bold marks
Of red, orange, purple, gold, pink, yellow, blue, green,
the colors of a  Rainbow. All inside of his hand, forming a heart.
It leaks down out spreading in to the world around him.
His soul is to big to stay trapped in his heart anymore.

As it gushes out it paints the sunshine in vibrant colors of
Warmth, and cools down the air to make a gentle breeze, which provokes
The soft grass to hug his feet, and makes the blue jay sing its beautiful
Tune and causes him to smile so deeply. Because he is free.
Alyssa Beddoe Aug 2012
Late night dancing
When the music starts to play
Its hard not to dance to it.
As I twirl around the room
In to your arms. Dancing
On the soft notes of a violin
Echo within the house.  I dance
On my toes towards the door
Out in to the yard under the moonlight.
I dance to the beautiful music. The light
Soft violin floats over and through the
Cracks of the other house mixing in with the
Drum solo of the ******* rock song.

He dances in a different way
He bangs his head back and forth
To and fro letting his hair fall any ware.
He cranks it up to let the whole neighborhood
To hear. It escapes through the chimney traveling
Through the neighborhood till it reaches a
House party.

Teens buzzing every ware rubbing up on each other
All the ***** dancing adults hate. Listing to remixes
Of there favorite songs, the beat and screech of a siren
Fills the night sky, dub step is joining the party in the
Sky.  

Up in the clouds with only the moonlight to project the light
The music notes dance tonight.
The soft music twirls and spines around stage like a ballerina
She finds the boy with the head banging and teaches him how to
Spin while she learns how to shake her head.
The loudest of the party shows up and starts ***** dancing with
Everyone around.
The party becomes bigger as more of the neighborhood wakes up
To dance tonight.
Country and tap-dance the music notes find new partners
And dance the night away under the moonlight.
Alyssa Beddoe Aug 2012
The sounds of a Rainbow
Don't you just love the sounds the
Rainbow makes?
But rainbows don't make sounds
You say.
They shine brightly in the sky
But I cant see I'm blind.
So I hear the rainbow instead.
Every color has its own sound
Red comes from the anger of
Two people fighting.
Orange comes from the soft
Munching noises as people
Enjoy the delicious food.
Yellow is the construction man
Working on the road
Green is the busy beeps, and rings
Of all the busy people on there
Electronics.
Blue comes from the wailing baby
With tears coming down its face.
And Purple is the children's laughter
That echoes through the world.

All the sounds alone are nothing to you
But all the sounds together make a rainbow
For me.
that's why I smile all the time because I can
Hear the rainbows in the room,
But why would I smile ate people fighting
And a baby crying.
Because a rainbow only comes after rain.
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