Im done thinking of all the possibilities that could make everything turn from beautiful to shattered.
My heavy heart that once beat so vibrantly is now so very vulnerable.
Vulnerable to the feelings I have pushed so far beneath my soul and terrified they would never reach the surface again.
Time and time again my heart has been shredded and torn so immensely that I wasn't sure it could feel that electric beat ever again.
The kind of beat that sends surges through your veins when your lips collide with somebody else's.
The kind of beat that leaves you breathless.
Then there’s you. So unbelievably beautiful, and you don’t even realize it.
You make me feel that beat again.  
I feel it when you kiss me.
All I want is for you to see yourself through my eyes.
All I want to do is to make you smile.
But underlying it all is how utterly terrified of my heart being shattered once more.
Im afraid of feeling something that is now so foreign to me.
I know I will never allow myself to feel again if I don't let my fears fly on wings of the past.
Just hold my hand, let me kiss you and we can paint the sky together.

Your gentle frame is dangerously close to me.
Our hands collide together and become one,
Not even pausing for a breath.
But tracing the outline of one another's body with our tongues.
Your eyes close as your body raises towards the sky.
Everything around us black and white.
You and me colliding.
Illuminating and wrapped in interchanging shades of color.
A light gasp of air, taking it in as if it were our first.
And this innocent feeling we are experiencing as if we have before.
As your wrapped in my arms the thoughts in your mind sing to me.
Your fragile fingers trace my spine, sending surges through my body.
Your hair, soft to the touch, slowly brushing across my face.
Your breath, warm and subtle, as you whisper your deepest secrets and wants to me.
And I whisper mine to you.

My heart,
Pumping and flowing.
Flowing dark secrets, and heavy memories.
My heart,
Captivated. A prisoner, swallowed by chains.
Unable to break free of this metallic hold you have on me.
You’re suffocating me unconsciously.
My heart,
Can no longer breathe on its own and is drowning in the love I once knew from you.
How can something once so beautiful cause so much pain.
My heart.
I hope that one day it will be free again.

Locked in the darkest corners of my mind lie my deepest desires.
They breed lust and the most intricate fantasies.
Not all beautiful and poised.
Some demented.
Some tormented.
Similar to my soul that lies deep within the structure of my broken exterior.
One day I will find the one to shed the walls that construct me.
One day my broken heart will be filled with light once again.

I shout louder than i ever have.
My vocal cords penetrating the inside of my throat as my tongue dances behind my teeth.
No longer afraid of the consequences, only breathing.
Not normal breathing, but heavy.
So thick we can almost taste it.
Inhaled in such short moments.
Moments that lead us to believe we are free in complete sync.
Dancing for hours on end and everything suddenly slows down.
Every strand of hair dances around my face like ribbon caught in the wind, never letting down and going on forever.
If only my hand could be taken and held.
I see your heart raise to the sky and return.
Every thing I feel seems to sparkle.
Every molecule of air is free.
Hold me. Breathe me. Taste me.

You take my mind and spin it around till i cant see straight.
A blurred vision but your still stuck in the center focus.
I see you perfectly, but its me that you cant see.
Is wanting it so much enough, is my willingness to give myself to you too much?
Or is the whole concept of me releasing my vulnerability to you impossible.
I wish you were just able to hold my hand and never let it go...