I hate watching you
being eaten up
by your past

I hate that you remind me
it was my fault
me first

I hate watching your heart
being ripped out
constantly

I hate that I can't help you
when all I want to do
is save you

From yourself
from her
from me

I hate that hurting her
takes precedent
hurting me

I hate that I broke you
that I can't pick up
the pieces

I hate that you resent me
you regret me
and us

I hate looking back in retrospect
framing all of my regrets
it was so easy

Staring at a pole that reminds me of you.
And panic attacks. Her.
With your hand on her bare thigh.
My heartbeat quickening, eyes burning wet.
Escape. Tiny. White. Numb. Calm.
You don't see.
You don't know.
You're killing me.
That should be me.
Walk away, in silence.
Hurting. Alone.
It's over.
Months ago.
Let go.