Things could be so much sweeter
If I could
stay
out
of
the
sun
but the warmth you feel
is like no other
and
for
that
I should be
bummed
dark clouds threaten
to lead me astray
to
find
some
refuge
in the rain
and the grass could be just so much greener
if I could learn to take it in again
but then I'd miss the warmth
you gave me
but I could also burn alive
maybe i should
take
a
break
and find some
meaning
to
my
life

Taking in the open sky
your eyes are closed from me
and somehow I find it justified
as I listen to you breathe
smile as you have before,
with no purpose or respect,
a quiet sort of blasphemy
to the gilded idols you reject,
and for all this profanity
I can't find reason to care
only the fact that you are
not yet willing to share.

words hurt
and never work
much like your face down in the dirt
looking up my short short skirt
but never mind the  more perverse
lets just focus on whats worse
you make me feel like I'm about to burst
and though I'd like to think I was coerced
you had me by the second verse
and just in case you didn't know
that was not the moment you said "Hello"
but with these things you never know
and when its time for me to leave
will you tell me this time was wasted happily?
or would you hurt me all the same
like the ending to one of your twisted games
but as you know, I'm just as sick
pretending I'm great, when the world is ****
I guess I'm a bit of a *******
longing for that burning kiss
with the iron taste upon my lips
and I'm sorry I have the need for it
its what i consider pleasurable I guess.

I could give in to a nap in the sun
after a long afternoon of summer fun
but that's all the sun 'll let me do
sleep soundly for a day or two
I couldn't reach it,
as hard as I'll ever try,
so I'll sleep underneath it and try not to cry
I'll let its warmth graze my lips and color my cheeks
drunken and somehow it feels like magic
let the light come down and erase everything
and maybe its right that i shouldn't complain
even if I'll miss those kisses in the rain
but the clouds have been broken
and the sun smiles through
content enough,
to stop dreaming of you.

I don't want to run away
only to be yanked back again
don't hold the string if you can't
keep up with it
but then
should I cut them
seam by seam
then maybe we could get somewhere
without the weight of everything
Waltzing so practiced,
blindfolded and faked
I'm yearning for substance so why should I wait?
Darlin' you're nothing but a shimmering star
I know you're a bright one, but I don't know how far
I would have told you, that life isn't far,
but you'll turn around and ask me
"and why should I care?"
but that's what I asked for, and the stars they delivered
I still would be better off
were you not in the picture...
but excuse my complaining
I love you, i swear!
but I'll never admit that, no matter the dare.

I just want to waste away
watch flesh drip from the bone
It shouldn't matter what you think
I work better on my own
"I told ya that I loved ya,
I told ya, I would care..."
soothing voices whisper,
"So will you help me hold my hair?"
How could I have ever left you?
but I forgot you hate the light
are nightmares to be my penance?
for nearly escaping from the night
sunny days ahead are fading,
and the rain will dry with time
blue skies are always changing
you are the only constant in my life.
"I'm the one you made you,
I am always there."
but darling I can't kiss you,
"and who said life was always fair?
Did I ask for an opinion?
You should have learned to hold your tongue,
look at those you drove away--
three strikes and you are done."
I want to be a human
*"You want to be a doll.
Don't tell me I don't know you,
I am your soulmate afterall."

Grow and die,
like small traces of a lingering thought,
singing to the sound of static,
and lo' my sweetheart grows ever so fair,
growing and dyin' like that thought in the air,
*****, nobody asked for a selfish opinion,
don't ask to know something when you're not up to listen,
but, I'll tell you darlin' I've had better days,
Dodging each question with a "Yes, it's okay."
and please don't cry upon the bathroom floor,
whispering obscenities to yourself, behind closed doors,
More make up, more acting, more stunt men for hire,
You won't get by no one without being a liar.
Belting out love songs, for the proper reaction,
but the crowd won't stop booing and crying for action.
so offer your head, upon a silver platter,
dress it up nicely,
because nothing else matters.

The stars are realigning,
to show the outline of you're face,
looking up I wonder,
if we can still somehow relate...
And all the lonely pieces,
go try to find their parts,
as I sit in darkness, pondering,
"Oh if I only had a heart."
Darling have you wondered,
what its like to fall in love?
I can only think of you,
as I shift my gaze above.
I ask the stars to shift again,
"Please forgive me for this plea."
As I set another dream to drift,
so far away from reach.

Your breath upon the window pane,
leaves the impression that you were here, again.
Hold me closer as I sleep,
mumbling your name while I dream,
of you
and only you.
Please, tell each star goodnight, for me.
"Adieu, to each wish, for now."
Tell me stories as I wake,
of who and what and how.
Keeping up with conversation,
you look back amongst the stars.
And in the plainest tone of voice,
said *"I love you."

I have the memory,
of a once upon a time.
Given up on everything,
just to make you mine.
Now the sky is open with a new refrain,
seeking the courage to rain down again.
And here I lay,
awaiting the fall.
Spinning new dreams on our way down
out of the cobwebs of our old ones.
Seeking for what they call the beauty
in all of us,
or in some of us,
As I try to survive the impact of earth,
I'm reminded of another fall.
The one for you,
compared to then
now is nothing.

Tell me anything,
just fill the silence...
lie to me,
and I might just buy it.
"Do you have a soul to sell?
It's not like any other!"
Darling, are you feeling well?
My love's not up for barter...
I have the sky to remember you by,
it makes goodnight just so much sweeter.
Parting for another night,
and I know you're off to meet her.
Serenade the moon tonight,
think of her as me.
Tell her that you'll hold her tight,
singing, so happ-il-ly,
keeping close to the jealous stars
whisper all her praises,
as you fill the silence with her laugh
as you say those stupid phrases.
how quiet, are those nights for me,
as the moon strays off to you.
all I wanted was to keep
the silence from my room.

Breaking through the fog,
only to find another.
Tell me has it been so long?
Have you not the time to bother,
(with me)
Tear away, this gaze, and don't look back.
Promise me that someday
you'll emerge from between the cracks.
Playing those songs,
you sang so well,
beginning from the moment
you broke this wicked spell.
Hardly am I dreaming,
as dreams have not this hue,
somber, like the bleeding
sky, with shades of blue

Satellites replace those ancient, dull stars,
moving and zooming through the depths of my heart
searching for the muses
who left me when you did
"We'll never get anything through to this kid."
Adieu, Adieu, to the helpless muse,
Lamenting the loss of that romantic who died,
from that moment you decided to tell her goodbye.
moving about in and around the seams
groans the satellite,
with its gray colors, and lackluster sheen
given, this search is as hapless, as unfair,
take into account that no muse is really there...

I'm not one to live my life in passion.
But like the spark of a flame,
you make me feel ashen.
A night in the dreamland,
keeps me lost in confusion.
Given the choice I would have spared my youth and,
amongst others, why were you there?
Intruding on dreams is slightly unfair.

How is singing so different
from any other art
all can be so nolgistic
if you pry each verse apart
maybe there's just a bit
of magic in the brew

coughing on the fairy dust,
I take up my favorite pen
but, freezing, as like many others
I have no idea, on where to begin

my version of a thinking cap
just held my brain too tight
and all magic seemed to waver
as the clock struck past midnight

all muses turned to leave me
as the heartless graces do
but motivation rouse to wake me
as I began to write of you.

What did you dream
because as far as I can tell
its not what it seems
my fair and dear rebel
and as long as I can cry
but as long as you still sing
I will still remember
the day you lost my ring
while I am still a sleeper
and you may only lie
pretend that you're the big ****
as I fall for other guys
so baby I'm afraid
for you, but not for me
as I am now awake
In here, and in my dreams
For all those doubled lovers
for all those heartfelt sighs
I am not a person,
that gives a farewell kiss goodbye
and by the by we sing
those songs I learned from you
observing for the moment
how much I truly grew

I don't believe in miracles, but
Am I just another fault?
Truly only these confessions can be
Deeply unresolved, as we
Madly, search, for new solutions
In new worlds, but without
Love are we unforgiven, and
With nothing left, I turn to
You.

Dolly Dolly
Whose name
I forgot and
in strawberry fields
she danced
under moonlight
resting for a moment
to say
I love you
my dear knight
but even if
she never changed
she looked across and felt
ashamed
and for a moment
afraid
of
no
control

Close enough,
and I can't resist,
These steaming nights,
this haunting kiss...
Eerie, echos trot the room,
they speak of me,
they talk of you,
Saying things that are not true
You're always the fighter
who never plays fair
tell me you miss me
and I'll still try to care
Fallen remnant
Ghost of a man
Tell me you love me
if you find that you can.

Benevolent prince, or incubus to my rest.
You may be demon, but I hold no requests.
It is only the distance that I resent...
Vicarious watcher, or silent soul mate of my dreams.
I am not the passive child that I have been.
We are above this, we can be proud, no longer the screaming,
No longer a child.
You asked me to love you, and I asked you to stay.
"I have obligations, but if I had my way..."
You wanted forever, and we only have these nights.
Don't ask me to remember, 'cause I'm not alright.
This situation is deviant, because we are so strange.
I'm tired of seeming to live without pain.
Dodging weary glances, but its just not my thing.
Neither is trying, but I won't complain.
You have competition, and who would compete with you?
You are my goblin, and they are mortal fools.
At least, they're closer to me than you.
Check, because I've made my next move...
You're king is in danger,
So what will you do?

You are the colors
that fill my changing sky
keep in your presence, this love
and I,
am not forgiven
though I should still be glad
we are all still children
no matter how bad

Gather beyond, fair dust clouds of matter
and after we all turn towards a new chapter
there's a star in you're left hand
and a small star to the right
unblinking perspective, and its still not alright
He is a sinner, and I am a con
broken, and we won't admit that it's wrong
kinship in this, stellar, blood that we share
please gather star matter,
because we, are one strange pair

I can't stop singing
these sad songs
Like a bird
with no feathers
because
all I stand for
has been lost
but you don't
have to live
without your
cheery sun
it only means
that I
was not
the one.

Unfold, petals of marigold, send me a new breeze
feel the breath,
I take a breath,
as I learn to sing with ease
Watch as the storm clouds melt away,
but try hard not to watch me cry
I can steal you're breath,
maybe take a risk,
and I'd like to see you try
even if I look at you
trivial matters don't persist
unfold, unfold marigold
maybe love does, in fact
exist

clumsy fingers
follow with trembling breath
I can do nothing
but taste your lips
counting down
and I love the sound
of a
beating heart
sent into frenzies
by nothing but a
touch
and even then
I don't think the feeling
was
enough

Maybe I'm the ocean
whose will is simple to keep
changing now and forever
because I am not complete
Or I am the hungry,
unsustainable moon
and eternal yearning
that should effectively
be my doom
Not like they'd listen
because your idols
don't care
and time has its own way
to say
life isn't fair

I might be a little broken
but I am still your queen
don't ask me
what I think of you
because I cannot be mean
I am only human
and you are
just a king
so even
if you love me
I am
but a dream
I could cry for hours
or I could scream for days
but I'm silenced
in the horror
of what they took away
kiss me
while I'm sleeping
and seek me
once I wake
I'm sorry to have to
keep you out
for my own selfish sake
I'm not meant
for people
but am I meant
for you?
Just don't look me
in the eyes
or I won't know
just what to do
You could give me
more than feeling
because I live on
more than pain
I could tell you that
I love you
but its just not the same

The rain would stay
for days and days
and then
there was you
an exhausted
sleep
who added
some color
to those
somber days
and all
these familiar faces
stared back
with pained stares
looking
for a signal
that I
truly
cared

These cold days
never looked better
as the children cry,
"This is my kind of weather!"
shrinking from the pouring rain
my lips might never
taste the same
but we still give
till there's nothing left
or only,
till the darkness lifts
getting to the gone
or leaving us dead
I don't mind
as the water
cleans my skin
even if the sun
might never
look the same
again

and there was nothing.
No feeling,

Just a hopeless,
empty canvas,
with a shortage of paints.

Maybe
we should color with
feelings or words
painting a landscape
of life
and of hurt

but I am still
that empty canvas
unmade,
losing hope
in the artist

marked for a demon
blood for feelings and
I am one of those
unfortunately picked

promised in the moonlight

you'd give me the starry sky
and if I was with no other
then I
would be your bride

but maybe your a secret
that I
have kept within
appearing only sometimes
In dreams where I have sinned

we have lost our voices
in a silence we can't bear
and I have come to witness
that you are always there....

If my skin is made of paper
then my tears are broken glass
and I don't mind the chipping
of the porcelain
as it cracks

and I can't stop the bleeding
like I can't stop the rain
so regardless of who's screaming
I am not to blame

Strength is only measured
in the width of my painted laugh
and I can only smile
as they try to break my back

and I have built my skin
to stand in the pouring rain
so might this flimsy,
paper doll
never break or tear again

I've never found my way to shore.
'til found my way to you
or might you be the ocean floor?
who's will I can't refuse...
I've tried to find the sunlight
but the moon is as lost as me
Sinking in the starry nights
as I forget to breath
but these memories are drowning me
hands that weigh me down
I doubt I'll find the shore again
I doubt that I'll be found...

From the darkness
Came a whisper
from the words
began a thought
and another

and another broke the mirror
with pale and shaking hands
and the other
was the nightmare
laughing at the other end

I am not the victor
Nor should I be proud
you did more than kiss her
while I can only smile

Happy in the darkness
because the shadows eat my tears
Maybe they should notice
that I don't belong here

Need to write
to fill holes
with words
Patch work dolls
from verses
sewn
with a pen
and even if you
couldn't understand the lines
don't break the words
down
because seams can
come undone
and dolls
can fall
apart.

Its like the blank page was looking back
Hollow with its feeling

And I sat clueless
not knowing what to put in

Make it classy.
Make it real.
Make it something,
that I can feel.

Let me in.
Fill my head.
With your thoughts, words, and break
Down.
These glass walls

Fill the void,

With your voice
and I'll fill the paper
With your words

The rain
was
pounding
on my
window
spirits
begging
for an open
invitation.
welcome in
hardy
guests
welcome
welcome
but there
was
no one
there.
this is
the solid
of my
imagination
to open the door
to that
which
doesn't
wish to care.

Really if I told you
I didn't love you
I'm not here
for those
feelings

Like I
ever meant
to be anything
other than what I
was programmed to be

And so I was the doll
to be played with
as you pleased
and I wanted
nothing
other

than
what you
wanted from
a doll child like me

The dreaming lasted one more day
though
the nightmares never went away
hold me
with a mornings kiss
gasping
when there's nothing left
of you
or me
lost in the open
grinning
of the sun
seeping though
my guarded
windows
chasing back
the nightmares

Its like,
the sky was crying
for you
crying,
alongside me
and
If all emotions
could erase
the pain
that masked your handsome face
then I
would become
your porcelain doll
because I'd rather
be broken
then
never
played with
at all

Its not like you can see
the starlight
hidden behind
the clouds tonight
and I
will be there watching
as I fall
from this lonely
throne of yours
hoping that the rain
will pour

and wake

me

once

for

A smile
since you asked for one

but hold me
until
the clouds
have gone away

I will clap to a broken beat
Or maybe dance in a sunless heat
I will change but stay the same
Or will play a losing game
I am here, but now I'm there
"Madness!
Madness!"
Screams the Hare
I can dream, but I can't sleep
I would scream, but that's not me
I've begun
and how can I stop?
Well I just hope
I don't **** this up.

I don't understand
how love is supposed to be
I'll never have the upper hand
love was never meant for me

Tears drop.
Rain still patters.
The sky is crying.
And nothing matters.
My fallen angel.
Hits the floor.
Never to fly.
Nevermore