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Alyse M King Mar 2012
You are every shade of grey
Visible on the fifth cloudy winter day
I wish it was as simply black and white
As the day is bright
And the night is dark
But in the light
I struggle and fight
Not to look behind
At snow glowing
ready to blind
And in the nightfall
I cannot see it all
Illuminated despite
The headlights beaming bright
I know it is my only
Line of sight.
Alyse M King Mar 2012
An ingenuine smile
aspartame sweet
aloof with loose leaf lonely

A tinny tune
echoing aloud
pinched with bleached blue sleep

An invaluable sore
useful aches
shredded with angry desire

A stolen smoke
swirling clean
backward with unruly peace

An envious shake
frozen steady
breaking with flooding fur

A sigular collection of emotion
hand built
abandoned with friendly pain
Alyse M King Mar 2012
for some reason
tonight
I picked to leave
(alone again)
when I most need
your company
and praise
I cannot handle
the tepid pink liquid
that lubricates
your already
broken mind
while I sit
helplessly watching
(alone again)
you drown your pain
until it's corpse floats
to the surface
and slowly eats your heart
while I search for reasons
why I picked tonight
to leave you
(alone again)
though I cannot help
wondering if maybe
it wouldn't be so bad
just to be left
(alone again)
like a scab to heal
without being picked
while you ponder how
we never healed before
when each time
we needed each other
we just left
(alone again)
Alyse M King Mar 2012
The moat was built to flood
Like a boychild that built his castle
To be destroyed by his whim
Controlled by the waves of emotion
And I am the tower
Crumbling beneath the forces
Of controlled nature
Like all mankind likes to believe
He can wield the sword of passion
To control
When he does not even understand
What makes it grow
But I am the tower
Built with the intent to let fall
Under a force you believe you can control
And I am left wondering
Why I allow myself to be such
Like sand
Malleable and weak
Yet everlasting in its sound
And
Still
you wonder why
I choose to try
To be like a stone.
Alyse M King Mar 2012
As the great Van Gogh said,
“I wish they would only take me as I am”
These words fill my head
As I realize I am ******.

For my strange, untrained soul
Does not struggle intensely
Trying to love as a whole;
Blind to its own propensity
To seek perfection and impossibilities.

I will remain entirely unaltered.
My heart cannot lie so hard
To pretend to love entirely unbothered.
And I will not drop my guard,
Lest to be left and hindered.

My hopeful ignorance assumes
That this is readily understood.
But when reality resumes,
I already knew no other soul could
Perceive and grasp this certain kind of doom.

Before I come completely undone,
I seek to reconcile my poignant mistake.
I’m only packing for my own sake
When turn my lonesome self around and run.

And so I am ******
As the only thing
That I can bring
Is me, as I am.
Alyse M King Mar 2012
Fix
You won’t answer my calls again.
Not that I had anything important to say, anyway,
I just wanted to feed off your voice,
For procrastination’s sake,
To use you as a way to excuse myself,
From that which I know I should do.

You will show up here tomorrow,
After dark,
To feed me excuses as if they were medicine,
Able to make me forget the way
You’re going to use me,
To forget your own whirlwind of problems.

Then we will embrace each other,
Like we’ve found something
We’ve looked for so long,
That we cannot let go.

Only to drift apart while dreaming,
To opposites sides of my bed,
Back to back,
Until the sun comes up,
When we realize we’ve filled ourselves full
With more complaints,
And need another fix.


Another dose of each other’s medicine,
To forget that which we will not tell.
I did not want to wait for tomorrow,
Tonight I needed a dose so big,
It would extinguish all of it,
Every fire in my soul,
Just long enough to postpone
The decisions I’ve already made.

But you don’t have any for me tonight,
You’re fresh out.
But tomorrow I will feed you a dose so potent,
It will sedate us both in one kiss.
Into oblivion we go, my love.
Holding hands around our drug,
That we’ve somehow convinced ourselves
Might be love.
Alyse M King Mar 2012
Fog
Her solitude creeps
Along the early morning glow.

She sighs,
Solicitude leaking from the sky.

Her wisped hands
seek out companionship.

She whispers;
Words carry a shiver up your spine.

Her voice
Writes invisible sounds.

She is still searching,
Loveless and alone.

Her heart
Stifles hateful tears.

Her trepidation
Takes over.

She retreats,
away from the glow.
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