long black curly hair
strong nose and chin together
soft brown eyes watch me

i'm just a small girl
how can he love me like that?
I'll believe him, though.


smiles traded nice
no akwardness anywhere
maybe it IS true

so many others
how can he choose, me? Alyse?
i'm just a small girl!

but yet his eyes watch
fill with love that makes me weak
my mexican boy

steps taken to home
old memories rush to see
he CAN be mine now!

it's just me and my Mexican boy, the one who i love, and the one who loves me

Geek! Outcast! Freak!
screams and insults cry through my head spinning me 'round
            -SNAP!-
I love you! Alyse! Give me a hug!
compliments and praises ring in my ears
lifting me up
            -SNAP!-
Hey Alyse. Who? Alyse....
blending into the woodwork
where i belong...

Alice is clingy
Alex keeps her distance

Alice needs attention
Alex prefers staying secluded

Alice stretched the truth
Alex plain out lies

Alice trusts anyone who wants it
Alex isn't to quick to open

Alice  holds a grudge
Alex lets things go

Alice doesn't think
Alex doesn't do

Alice is dead
Alex is very much alive
Alex

I'm like one of those walls.
you know the kind, you carve your name so people know you were there
just look at my arms,
my legs,
my back.
Filled with names
of people who loved
of people who hurt
of people who never cared
I'm scarred,
a scratched,
worthless piece
of what I used to be.
but you,
oh you, you are the one
who carved a hole straight through me
right through my chest,
a Fatal hit.
But don't worry,
everyone knows
you were here

Make myself cold
keep myself numb
you try to crack my shell
but i don't want to open myself up to you!
get that through your head!
i make myself cold
to keep you away
i make myself numb
to not feel you control me
unfeeling and freezing
i don't feel human

NO! i have to be real!
I can feel it...
I have to be a person!
i won't lock myself up because of you.
I realize it's not me keeping me numb,
it's your control
making me cold.
well now i REFUSE YOU!
I won't STAND for this!
you won't control me anymore, because
I'M NOT NUMB!

Best Friend.
Sisters.
Mother and Daughter.
Those were all the words used our describe our relationship

I know I'm clingy.
I know I'm  Annoying.

but I thought you understood.
I thought you understood I had nothing good in my life,
so when i found something worth keeping
I never wanted to let it go.
I thought you understood I had no one to tell anything to.
I thought you would listen to me.

But I also thought you would never lie to me,
I thought you were a good person,
I thought you couldn't be so purely evil.

I thought I would never get out of that depression.
I thought I'd be stuck, not feeling forever once you left me.
I thought I'd never see the light again.

But hey, it looks like I thought wrong.

She's pretty
She's smart
She's better than me
that's why you choose her

I was left on the floor.
Told by a friend
You can't bear my face anymore
Because you know you caused the pain in it

Why do you care?
Worry about her
It was your Choice
don't say sorry to me anymore

Lies hurt more
Quit telling me you love me
besides, you'll never know
Those lies you tell,
They keep me together
Because i know, deep down, they're true.

Despite what you did,
I love you the most,
And i know you love me more than her.

I may not be as pretty,
Or smart for that matter,
But she's just like me
and that's why you love her

You're mine forever,
So do what you want
I'll be right here waiting
When you get back

There's no getting rid of me, boy
I love you to pieces
No matter what you do
Just keep on giving me these kisses

She doesn't have to know
She's worthless right now
Don't think of her
It's me who you'll always be keeping

every second of every minute
every minute of every hour
every hour of every day
every day of every week
every week of every month
every month of every year
every year of every decade
every decade of every century
every century of every millenia
every millenia for all eternity
i will love you.
and if you didn't love me,
I'd look for you
try to find a love like you
and MAKE you love me
for all eternity of every milllinia
every millinia of every century
every century of every decade
every decade of every year
every year of every month
every month of every week
ever week of every day
every day of every hour
every hour of every minute
ever minute of every second

I looked in the cupboard
He wasn't there!
I looked in the attic
he wasn't there!
I looked in the closet
He wasn't there!
I looked in the garden
He wasn't there
I looked in our rooms
He wasn't there!
I looked in the bathroom
He wasn't there
I looked in the kitchen
He wasn't there
I looked in the basement
He wasn't there
I looked in the den
He wasn't there...
I looked in the pantry
He wasn't there...
I looked under the couch
He wasn't there...
I looked in the backyard
He wasn't there...
I looked in our office
He wasn't there...
I looked in every nook and cranny,
But he just wan't there!
then i remembered!
I looked in my heart,
and he was there the whole time!

GIRL:
I miss you.
I miss you much to much.
Every part of me feels for you.
My head is remembering us together.
My eyes want to see your smiling face.
My hands miss yours entangled in them
My waist feels your arm missing from it's usual spot
My legs want to run to wherever you are
My arms want to trap you and never let go
But you let me go...
you chose her and left me here
I know you can't feel this way for me anymore.
But I still love you with my Everything anyways
BOY:
I miss you.
I miss you so much.
I want with everything to be with you again.
My eyes want to see the miracle of your smile
My hands miss your the feeling of your hair when we kiss
My waist feels your arm missing from it's usual spot
My legs want to run to you then never move again
My arms want to trap you and never let go
But I had to let it go
I knew i'd hurt you,
just not so soon
I'd give anything to see you again
but I know you hate me
and I understand you can never forgive me
I just wish you knew I love you
I love you with my Everything.

Pretty Face
Young Mind
Wander...
Wander free
she's wandered too far and can't find her way home
so she walks
step after step
smiling her sweet smile
she walks home.
Passing people
Strangers she knows
step after step
she walks home
i take her by the hand
it's been a while.
she's grown so much
she walked me home
she wouldn't tell any one
but she was walking in the dark
walking home
She's a woman herself now
no longer free
stuck walking home
when she was a child, it was a fun thing
but now it's a terrifying experience
walking in the twilight of her life
not home since morning
but still
She walks home
Older,
Wiser,
Braver,
Bolder,
the old woman walked me home
and i asked her to step in
into my home,
and i seen the little girl,
pretty face,
older mind,
She made it home

I can't find a home
I have to leave,
I have to go!
As soon as I settle
They whisk me away,
Tear me away,
change my surroundings...
I'm getting comfortable,
I like it here.
but where am i now?!
Do i not belong anywhere?
Always having to adjust myself
Always having to force myself
Always missing what's taken from me...
Changing places,
changing people,
changing friends... forcing smiles
fiegning happiness
is it that i don't belong anywhere?

or a brighter side,
more like home,  
do i belong everywhere?
I feel home

"Home?
What's that?"
people crying
people yelling
spinning around me
it makes me dizzy
it makes me cry
they make me bleed
"Where you gonna go?"
"Where you gonna stay?"
"You can't leave!"
SHUT UP! PLEASE!
I can't take this any more!
give me some space,
I need to breath!
I need to find a home...
or does home need to find me?
run away?
or run to?
SHUT UP! PLEASE!
I can't take this anymore!
I need to find a home!

Sweeter than heaven
Hotter than hell
make me white as the sky
and Blue as my name
Call out to me
Bless yourself and your friend
Yellow dreams suffer
Your will is denied
cancel the payment
get what you deserve
Nothing is right
not anymore...
she came into my life
and put me under a spell
she made me her puppet,
played with my strings
and then cut me loose.
she made me grateful for life
because she was in it
trapped in this time
she made it well
but then the time came
we had to say good bye
tears were shed,
love was made,
i wanted to stay with her forever
and so i did
where ever she went,
i followed
we went across the universe
just me and her
turning dreams into reality
all except ours...

I was a saint
I was a sinner
I was a tree
I was the wind
I was a feeling
I was a numbness
I was a prisoner
I was a bird
I was a flower
I was a thorn
I was your light
I was your fall
I was a creator
I was a destructor
I was alive
but what am I now?

I can't
        FIND
the
              WORDS
that I want to write.
I feel the
   RYTHM
       in my heart
waiting
   to be
            WRITTEN
coursing through my viens
                       my
                          MIND
chasing my
  SOUL
           Itching my hand to pick up the
                     PENCIL
and find the words to make it
                                                      RIGHT!!!