why is the thought of it so terrifying?
sounds echo in and out every day
and we get a little used to it
I'm not a graphology expert, so send it to me
in any order you like
nor am I into picture perfect

didn't you know those lines meant something to me?
that interference smarting the nerves
that hidden turbulence in your smile

we are not so unlike each other
let go of the mask, let me see you
inhale and let go of the fear and horror
ask inside your quiet self, what sustains you
in that space
when the heavens crumble and leave behind
no trace or sign of mercy?

it's not the absence I fear, I do feel you
it's entirely something else.

of kindness, when needed
it gets hard to cope, but we go on
holding that space between
the ultimate fall and that which
gives, stones thrown
end in rivers and sink
so that mercy lives.

odd derision, tryed to reach out, how the air round me
laughs softly, aversion fills your words
cackles like a solid witch

there's no lift now, the ship has left
the boat is sunken, as are my eyes when I feel your intense anger
the steering wheel has been twisted, the head foggy

shaking with ice cold and sweat droplets on my face
frozen and melting at the same time
the sheet beneath me, like snow, no comfort, aversion fills up

the vesse l sinks, slowly
it fills, slowly it fills
like sea water in my mouth, my silence was needed

mute the racks of anguish
a cold burn inside, face skin totally peeled
scalding the tongue to learn again to go quiet

stir in two sugars, strong and black
oh! I forget, you like tea, so I'm glad you've contained that storm
on the inside of the tinderclap; the one you're wearing

you always hated pedestals, now I understand why
the fall will be hard to take, once the sweet words fall sly
like leaves in autumn; a rabbit hops.

a letter is traveling far and wide and may land tired in your lap
please, would you pray for one lost?

deliverance creeps on an unsuspecting mood in minute ways
I'd really like to hold your hand.

keeping space in this palm, my thumb could hold much more
rebel sage said love and fear motivate.

my eyes are red yet dry, a sudden drizzle; feet patter to lines
a small feather tucked gently inside.

good to see the sun shine once again
as if it has a choice
toys asleep in the attic and you're still waiting

I won't tell you, because you looked away
when you decided to be blind to truth
and deaf to reality, the shrieks

what the ostrich saw in the sand
curses you'll never know.

art doesn't live, cannot thrive without connect

you see me ill yet you're off, run somewhere far

what's really the intent?

I can't be stuck alone here and you on foreign soil

where you are adrift, when I need you

here's a cake for you, a small envelope, happy day to your heart.

lovely, hot sweetness swirling in the morningtime
that you'd use that as penalty, is hard to fathom

one mug goes missing later on
and then supper goes to dregs

bag is now tagged and tried
hung up, dried and lynched

perk is missing in action
I see your cup steams on

it's a heavy one this isn't how it's meant to go eyes burning dry lump in throat won't go away this kind of loss is not meant to be it's not meant to be a mother suffering this kind of loss is no less for the father this is not meant to be no not meant be not meant to be not meant to be not me

a spider from a tree, comes down to wait
some cardboard figures want all credit, just cardboard

hanging in the balance, which keyboard dictates
no good typing away when the cursor isn't ready

thanks for resuming the channel, almost missed iot
quick decompressing in the cards, else imploding

intricate on paper, makes for easily disconcerted
part-time envoy of laughter, running round circles

to keep cold feet away and every need gloved
come, I hate promises, let's go shopping

it came into my hands and I waited
then I lost it in the sand
now I comb the coast each day
but it eludes me, mocks my meticulousness and pierces my soles
and my smile box gets emptier every day

a treasure chest without a key is like a ship without a wheel

the toaster looked at me today so Jean popped up, surprise.
but Gabriel turned his head to watch a song on a Russian channel
I type in friend on the computer and it clicks back a response
how are you today?

everybody hides surprises, fleas in Doug's jacket
beer circles without coasters
one nut cracks, the whole lot shoots a load
you hold so tight, let go a bit.

which image do you hold so dear, it eclipses all else?
berries in a bog and dips in the road
I would never have thought you also had one
magic stripes don't match the stars in those eyes.

september flies all saltyness
brand new digital photos in your **** getup
you didn't know I knew you'd come round, right

by this wheel
on that track
on your wing
you bring me into you without red penny promises
and I know you mean it, each time

when the surf takes hold, edge along the side
into the bluff and sea spray, hold my hand
I close my eyes and feel your fingers marry mine
over the cliff, those longheld things soon fly free

and the eagle in flute skin makes no hazy bones
this awkward thing, it's like you have someone
bending metal traps, free feet in antiquated barbs
and know that I miss you more than you suspect.

powder in a rush catches your eye, seems to be an issue
on a roller coasting *****, slipping in the mud
let's arrange a contest with our fans to see who's brighter
you love the limelight, yes you do

no more tea on trays, someone's ego got shinned in
they're on bitter stilts
rides dry up and curfews throw back some
silence is a great peacemaker, learn to schedule a good cry in the shower

like no other day
pained to see this occur
why it's unworkable, I never know

oh please no

through the use of some actions, you've made use of some of my organs
I don't complain
my third finger is claimed long ago by a band of gold
no complaint
your words etched in the wrinkles of my time
easy peasy
now with my legs encased in ice
can't walk

let me be, let me walk, let me breathe, let me be

cruel to whet your time with promises I can't keep
and entertain you with dreams refusing to inhale
wiser to pack away wishes, escape the sting

but that hiss of discontent lingers in quiet rage.

you're the nock on the bow, determining the distance
and the depth
phenomenal thing that you are
I can't wait

oh I can't wait!

I realize slowly
you're shifting the needle in my compass

magnetic moves in cloud
looking clear now, I see the distance

sudden and incomprehensible
as if I've had a hand

my heart clamps in protest
and these feet say otherwise.

They are like smoke in my eyes
or like the wind billowing through clothing on a washing line
your words bring me to any place you want

I ought get tired of it all
of the constant shunning and dreadful holes of silence
drilled in by periodic habit

But what they do to me when I lapse to dreamy
as my eyes at night fall to rest and
only you know.

how charming a taste you leave, my tongue swells
and how magically you wheel me in

I keep you far away yet close
for all the things you'd send, I ignore your nostalgia
I let you overflow till you can no more
and bend my absence over you and
you'll see the world hand me trophies
and through the eyes of great you
you see your dwindling reflection

and like an eagle, I'm ready to clutch
the only prize worth catching

and in the end, it's always you
winter on the heart
rain upon the leaves
you're here
inside

you cannot hear me falling
no-one can, in fact
I’ve learnt how to subdue (ages ago) when the world was still birthing and thinking up its silly existence

Old habit, long practise

saddenly, you caught your glad bliss in neglect
and why are you tiptoeing in your dreams?

(ring, ring) when I call you, you know what it means
that missed call is your signal and you know it's a high again
I want you to do things again with you
I'm a ****** wreck without you near, hotting me with your touch
and me pushing your arms, grinding against your thigh, is all I want

just tell me what you want
you have me where you like
with your prize on its knees, take your fill
I remember how you liked me pressing you (there)
five scrumptious light squeezes
and
(that)

I love the dancing in those lights of yours
where we cavort in total freedom
did you know I see angels there?

they long for your absence to end
we are all here for you
swinging from midnight trees

let me see you shine once more
lift your flagging spirit
twinkle me your eyes again

every time the thing switches, I hold back my intensity
to appease the discomfort you cut yourself on
yesterday's child has gone missing; how we run together
duration's heavy and frustrations never ease up
reaching out to the hands I yearn for
here now and then into disharmony it falls

the turns and bends on the highway
catch on and burn the tyres, but wheel on
a stop at a lonely cafe and the deed is done.

I will long for the moments when it was the beginning
everything so sweet, so pure
then, I send you still things I hope you like
and try to connect on a level where you don't feel such anger
in a world so filled with demands and wants, needs and cares
you will find me here, always
for you.

inside your head, I live with broken words competing as company
we try every time and almost, it works
perhaps we try too hard?

I gave you things I thought you'd like
now, I feel a total fool with missed cell chance
and silence roaring in my midnight ears.

this skill you hold so high, I am fearful
on tenterhooks, step hunched on eggshell
I'd hate to lose you.

a dual purpose for
always trying
must exist
if lessons come
and knock one
upside down
twice in the head
and twenty in the heart

why duel forever
with heart strings
when the answer
fits nowhere
and mind stings
with truth?

blocks are built high, towering all else
then they tumble down each time
build up, build up and see where it goes
can't go so high up, into the sky

sun will scorch every time
and winds will rip
leaving a host of mixed emotions in its wake

let's hold hands instead
and feel the glow of Spanish eyes
climb into your heart

and just like that, you're gone
out of the atmosphere we know

maybe you left long ago
peace on coast locked

world bays sick interest
in the falling and ailing

once they step from the plastic grass
hungry wolves will come to bleed rapacity

there's no known cure, say poetics of wise
battling the extreme odds, hold on tight, the ride goes on!

so many questions are asked
with fewer answers that really matter

so many attempts are made
with results which end up drowning

so many poems are written
with some nodding heads to agree

while so many seconds tick
with thief doubt always creeping in

all i ask is..............in the end
does it really matter so much?

i soooo wish i cud post this...

(..
















..)




going mad not being able to proclaim to the skies
ok, I told it to the wind who told it to the trees
and now, it's landed adrift, somewhere in bird cry

if you spoke bird cry, you'd know it all by now
since you can't, you can swallow all the colors
in the bleeding flight taking off at gate number 4

yes, been hectic
ups and downs and busyness
exhausted
yet long for the day we can stand toe to toe

oh god how i dream of that day..............

met up with lady on tour yesterday
spent the whole day in her company
refreshing and easy and now i getcrazy this morning
i was too relaxed
too easy
wtffffffffffff

madness.....

ever felt like u lost something
but u can't tell what it is
yet it rankles the nerves so bad

you place fear at the door
but it lies across the threshold
making you trip each time
it cackles low expletives
and hisses at ur every move

Eden is on vacation
the direct contact is on hold
the engaged tone beeps on and on