made to hold a heart, but fit to catch your crash
you always felt me in the way, had to let it go
found it hard and made it harder

you were gentler with my thirst this time
slowly dragged the leaking cup
away from aching lips

never saw it coming, slow retraction
astute biding, the wait
the right moment, cut down the blubber

step by calculating step, it came round
sleeves rolled back, fields are spalled
choosing the relative best of the lot.

just another day to wade through and strange, that in the heart of it all
an unlikely blessing blown this way
an attempt at some lighthearted joke
work squeezing headspace into impossible places

debating whether to serve it on a platter or abandon altogether
scales tip, alarm bells go off and peril plays its little havoc games
an exile tired from the excessive demands slides out of view
and ends with a sidewalk splattered, sad remains

but someone sandwiched a smile
one more advised to take it easy
someone else laughed, the bag's not all lost
and another blew a kiss
      this way
today

as it stands, it runs
high tide stays out late
and the ticket's expiring
joke, right? conspirators on the sea
and it falls flat, hopelessly flat

it appears unseeable
I will wait, then
yes, I'll have to.

thinking cap and working cap and playing cap and so on
too many caps to carry and sudden changing
where's the simplicity in it all?

I don't want to be your keyboard lover
I want you for real
when will you wake and see
you're closer to solution and it's quicker for you?

bring me in, please bring us closer
the owl's call a hoot away
it's been a long, long time now.

why is the thought of it so terrifying?
sounds echo in and out every day
and we get a little used to it
I'm not a graphology expert, so send it to me
in any order you like
nor am I into picture perfect

didn't you know those lines meant something to me?
that interference smarting the nerves
that hidden turbulence in your smile

we are not so unlike each other
let go of the mask, let me see you
inhale and let go of the fear and horror
ask inside your quiet self, what sustains you
in that space
when the heavens crumble and leave behind
no trace or sign of mercy?

it's not the absence I fear, I do feel you
it's entirely something else.

of kindness, when needed
it gets hard to cope, but we go on
holding that space between
the ultimate fall and that which
gives, stones thrown
end in rivers and sink
so that mercy lives.

odd derision, tryed to reach out, how the air round me
laughs softly, aversion fills your words
cackles like a solid witch

there's no lift now, the ship has left
the boat is sunken, as are my eyes when I feel your intense anger
the steering wheel has been twisted, the head foggy

shaking with ice cold and sweat droplets on my face
frozen and melting at the same time
the sheet beneath me, like snow, no comfort, aversion fills up

the vesse l sinks, slowly
it fills, slowly it fills
like sea water in my mouth, my silence was needed

mute the racks of anguish
a cold burn inside, face skin totally peeled
scalding the tongue to learn again to go quiet