Anything can touch you deep inside
Can make you want to sob and lie
Emotions that you can't speak or describe
NO matter how HARD we TRY

Every waking minute is taken
My heart is full to the top
I know what it is I can't be mistaken
You CAN'T buy this in a shop

Overall its so simple to me
It's what caught me from start
Overall its what set me free
This emotion has stolen my heart

The way we express
The way we express is unique
We all need to let our heart ache leak
We all need to tell someone or something
If that's via words on page
Or by voicing our rage
Against our will we express

Your way to say how you feel
Doesn't seem to be a special until
Until people see its the way to your heart
A way to understand you from the start
I can see it when I look into your eyes
The eyes of beauty and the pain
My pain is tame compared to yours

Your diary is the way you tell the world
You tell the world all your sorrow
All the things that are good and bad
Every little detail even the ones that make you sad
I didn't understand how that worked
How simply writing could solve the problem
And that's when I realised
That the you can express in more ways than one

I want you to remember that I read
Every detail lays a new seed
To sprout love from my broken heart

~AlphaX

Hey Jessy
You and Honey were always besties
The way you played around
Jumped and bounced on the ground
Always looked so young
That same puppy that we once brought home
I remember that day very clear
It feels oh so near
The first thing you did was hide from us
Until I went and made a fuss
You sat under that tree for hours on end
I remember sitting there making you happy
And all you did was be snappy
Our friendship grew from that moment
You never understood how much it meant to me
The little piece of my heart you stole
You will stay with me for ever
Me and you we went through everything together
If feels so strange to say that you have left us now
How can that be; you were always so strong
Why can't your life still be here and long
You were always so timid to new people
But once you got to know them they were like treacle
I remember the day you first attacked the letters
You were so funny but so naughty
I remember the day that Tilly past away
You stayed so strong but showed your heart
Just like the way you loved Honey from the start

Jess you character oh so different
But that's what made you who you were
To be special to me takes real might
I will always remember you as being the one that went down with a fight


I have put you into writing so that you will never be forgot
Faces of new and faces of old will always remember you as Jessy Kilsby-Steele
Jessy I will always love and remember you and your beauty

~AlphaX

I feel like I am in under my head
I am no longer in the black I am in the red
I don't know how to feel about this
All I can do is write and list
The next thing for me to do
I just remember that I love you.

When I remember all that I have been through
And then go and compare it to you
It makes me realise my life hass been easy
And all it does is make me sound breezy
I counted all the pain I closed behind doors
And its doesnt compare against yours

~AlphaX

You and I
We were like stars up in the sky
We knew of each other
But never talked to one another
You saw me as an evil stain
I saw you as a delightful gain
Even though we had never spoke
I just knew you were one of the good foke

It was that one peaceful eve
The day you invited me back to yours
For pizza on one winters eve
I decided I change the LADs laws
That's when I chose that you were worth the chase
I needed you
I needed your beautiful face
It wasn't just me its was you too

The day you gave me your number
Was the day when I awoke out my slumber
I saw new light
My heart was filled with delight
We chatted and chatted and chatted
It felt like we were newly wed
But then I heard a stir
That me and you wouldn't concur

How those people were so wrong
My hearts desire is so strong
The chase was o so short
But now I understand your every thought  
To feel you heart beat in time with mine
Now makes me understand how to define
I love you
I love you I really do

The day you said that to me
Was the day I felt like I had been set free
To ignore everything else but you beauty
That's what I have as my every day duty
To have you in my arms is all I ask
That is just such a simple task
But somehow it fills my heart with such joy
That I feel like young little boy

~AlphaX

Why is it now that you choose
Your always so **** confused
You were the one that fell for the boy
Now you treat him as one of your toys
You jump up down up down
Why now why can't you just stay on solid ground
He just wishes that you would stop moving
Just say and stay with just one thing

Ever since you failed to understand
His life started to be fanned
It all started to drift from one place to the next
He can change with comment or a text
But there was always the fact that stayed the same
its what he felt when someone said your name  
The feeling never left his heart
He wishes he had just stayed with his first ****

The edge is always changing from left to right
You go from love to hate to love all in one night
Your love came crashing down all at once
You tell him this and that just make him a prince
He starts to feel that he has you back
But then he remembers what you want to take
Its just the simple things he does right from the start
Just like that time he gave you those love hearts

Over time he has come to learn
He has learnt that you and him need a new turn
He started to turn a new page
He started to feel his love fade
All of his life is slowly being dug back up
He starts to feel his has some new luck
He remembers what it is like to love more than one
His life no longer feels like a big con

There's one problem with his new turn
You're still stuck under the same old fern
The fern that has shaded you for so long
You just wish you didn't have to listen to the song
You're trapped by the love in your body
Why can't you just move and see
Its time to move away from the stage
Its time to get out off his cage

Suddenly the steps change one more time
You both hope its the final line
There always has been an end
This is not the end of your love that needs a mend
You both have that last judgement
You will both know what it meant
Its just simple as simple as its always been
That's when you both just came clean...

~AlphaX

All I can do is walk
Walk far away
As far from you as I can
I don't want to
Walk away from you
I know we are talking

There is only one thing that will stop me
For you to be with me
How was I wrong
It was so strong
What we shared felt so real
The deal

I want to get away
Find a place to stay
As far as I can from you
Its last thing I want
But I think it's for the best
For the others and the rest
You were the one
Who made me feel

That I could stop walking
Away from the darkness
You gave me the sun
Now you and me is just a ton
On my mind

Wait stop
Take a look at the clock
There's still time
To catch my dime
The one who I tell
The one that fell
Over me

~AphaX

We were brought back together by sorrow
And now that's what will break us apart
You were my past
Then my present
The only thing that I felt that meant something
but now you are just the past
It went so fast

I don't get why
Why you had to fly
You say nothings changed
But its not the same
I feel so lame
What I shared with you is something that I have never had before
You made the clock stop
As well as my heart

You came at the best part of my life
The time where I was free
Free to be with you
To spend all my time with you
Timing is all that I say
All you say is timing
But we feel that the times are different

That's what I don't get
We were so happy
Now sad
We were high
Now just low
One day we felt the connection get stronger
Then the next day it dropped
I don't get how we can go from that to this
From Sat to Sun
How can things change so much  

You say its because of the timing
Just at the time
If I was here at a different time then we would be together forever
But see the thing is that I will still be here
But will the love be so clear
I don't know if at that time I will be able to see
Your beauty

~AlphaX

S can stand for many objects
S can stand for many moments
S can stand for what we want it to be
I know what my S stands for but what does yours?

S, where do I start I guess I start with its a she
She, the one I never want to see
We started off with the same darkness
I can't tell you if I will end with more or less
But there is one thing I will say for you
I will always want it to just be me and you
Just remember what S stands for
And that S doesn't need anything more

Now we are here together
I see that this wasn't just me being clever
But I remember him again
I wish he stopped and even refrained
All he does is ******* around
If I knew him I'd give that sound
S tell me that its fine and ok
But really S wishes it would end today

S could stand for the start
But I know what S means in my heart
There's only one place for treasure
And you fit in with even a measure
Today was the start of something new
And I know you feel that way too
I could not say what will come
Laughter maybe we will see what has to be done

My S stands for what I know
I would put my S on show
I'm proud to show My S to the world
Maybe you should show yours

S can stand for many objects
S can stand for many moments
S can stand for what we want it to be
I know what my S stands for but what does yours?

~AlphaX

I don't feel that you want me
I don't feel that you see me
When I say that you're beautiful
All you do is move straight past
That's not how you used to be
That's not what I used to see
It was just clear
You always felt so near
But now you are so far
It feels like tar  

I know you feel inside
But it just feels like you lied
You used tell all;
Not make me feel small
You and I
We used to share
We used to stare
Be next to each other
You are my only lover...

~AlphaX

You're still there
For me to share
I was wrong
We were still strong
It won't be long
I was wrong
The time may not be here
But you still feel near

Its not about the timing
We are still climbing
I know that may to wait
But it will never be to late
For us to be;
You and me free

I was wrong
Its still strong
Its not about the timing
Its about who we are
What we do
How we feel
Feel that its real

I can wait
I know its fate

~AlphaX

The first time I saw you didn't know what to know
I didn't know where were to look, where to go
It was in that split second that I decided
It was in that split second I confided
This time I wouldn't be the same
It time to play a different game
All it needed was for you to look for it to start
Then could take your love and your heart

I was once this shy little child
I had no friends, no one to see until someone lied
Some told me that girls will always play with your mind
But I knew this was not what I would find
The first time we spoke I remembered this
I remembered how love can create such bliss
But I forgot how long it would take
How much love I was going to need to make

~AlphaX

Its about what's around
All around
On the ground
From the sound
That's what makes us feel
So real
What did you think
Made your beauty blink

~AlphaX