Time stops, I sleep for hours, days, weeks. And when I finally awake, I'm still a creature of the dark.

They say hope begins in the dark, but most just flail around in the blackness searching for their destiny. The darkness.... for me... is where i shine.

Ive been running around for 20 yrs and i think im just running on fumes. ive never been good for anything ever. all i do is mess up in life and hurt the ones i love and care for and the ones i hold close to my heart. all ive ever wanted was to be happy, to make my family happy and to make the people i have been with happy but its just nit possible. either i can make my family and i happy or the person i was and am with happy and my self happy but theres no inbetween. i just put on a fake happy face and make the other 2 happy. but anymore im just running on fumes so i guess when i move out i can just fill up my tank but untll then i guess a fake smile is all im good for. to all who read this take my advice if u have ever been unhappy and pray for something to go your way like i have just hold onto it and dont make promises like i did and go back on them it only gets you in deep trouble. and if anyone i know reads this or my family reads this just know that ive tried and im sorry im not a god figure and make everyone happy. its not possible and probly never will be.

Work work here to stay it makes me want to sleep all day, work work here to stay why cant it just go away?,  work work it seems you won but remember this and remember it well, at the end of the day i think i speak for us all that you can burn in hell.

Everyone everywhere has some kind of purpose. Thats the reason certain people comeinto your life, thats the reason young love hurts and how we become stronger as humans, life is the reason we as humans love, laugh, cry... but most important is to have emotions and feel these as what we call pain or love. I know people have religion but Im athest i believe peoples spirits go on and instead of becoming people again they become animals (read one of my earlier writings) but our animal spirits arnt just another thing to describe us as humansthey to me are what our souls become with death.

Day by day life goes on, every night brings the end for some of us the rest make it for another day. We have all lost someone close more and more everyday I wish I could save the ones that have passed on and protect the ones not yet gone but I cant so this is for all who have lost someone or many people close to you like i have. May their souls rest easy, And may they find peace where ever their spirit may flow. I wish every one reading this the best. Also to the all who read this I just want to say may you find happiness and joy to fill in the hole where regret is taking up let go of regret and look to the future because regret is your past and no one can change that.