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allison Jul 2014
Even from across the room
Violet crescent moons age her youthful face
Black makeup smudged under her eyelashes
And hair in a messy bun but still slightly curled
The only remnants of the night before
Evidence of a snoozed alarm and
Lack of sleep

Exhausted
Both mentally and physically
She tries desperately to grasp full consciousness
As she begins her work

Earbuds submerged in her ears
Leaving the world around her behind
Engulfing her into a world of art
Both visual and musical
Where sonnets become songs
And bars of notes start to form beauty

Eraser shavings everywhere
Either on the paper or pushed aside
Her hands move swiftly to the beat
For once just let me lose myself
And she does
In her art

She glances back and forth between papers
One a model and one her masterpiece
Not fully formed
Precision is key
Perfection
Ruler to ensure exactness
Eraser to rid of mistakes

She draws one line perfectly straight
And leans back
She contemplates and shakes her head
Then omits it
Goes back again to draw another
A twin to the first

The process is endless
Striving for impossible perfection
When true imperfect goodness is there

Underneath the frustration and complexity
Is simple and utter beauty
What is perfection
When you can have art?

*December 2013
allison Jul 2014
After Pamela Sutton’s “Forty”

Since when are words lost, numbers dominating?
Until today, it was vernacular, not mathematics.
All changed at 18
when numbers engulfed my life like a tsunami.
1 life.
1 drive to school, traffic on the 405, 25 minutes;
10-minute parking; first class at 8.
8 dollars per hour x 3 day work week = no shopping.
Under my parents’ life insurance,
for now.
One life.
One dream of commencement, a sea of black and gold;
students as adults, graduating, growing up,
careers: the only things that matter now.
One dream of wheeling a patient into the OR
and he grasps my hand.
One saved life.
66 specialties for a nurse.
8 stories in CHOC Hospital;
279 beds.
One goal for everyone; nurses, patients, families—
disease-free, healthy.
One hospital specializing in children;
one in Orange, thousands of facilities.
One late night in Riverside the kitchen fluorescents
slowly brings the eyes of two, one father, one daughter,
to a close.
58 notecards, handwriting messy and smudged.
12 prefixes, 37 roots, 9 suffixes.
44 years: 1 student: Dad.
The point where my future was clear.
One goal, one career,
one life.
The subtle hum of the white lights lulls us to sleep
as the room slowly darkens.

September 2013
allison Jul 2014
The air is thick, words stick to my throat like tape.
The house, filled with objects taken for granted, feels empty.
Nothing’s out of place, except
                                        my balance

The picture frames, lined with silver, glint in the light.
The laughs of past memories echo, haunting the silence.
Nothing’s out of place, except
                                       our happiness

The corners of our cerulean couches are torn,
Broken by the claws of Chip and Cookie.
Nothing’s out of place, except
                                       their home

Justin and his chunky legs run back up the stairs,
Oblivious to the change coming for us.

*September 27, 2013 5:47:50 PM

— The End —