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Allison Rose Oct 2012
it is the clouded day
that drives me to your side,
in search of the colorful flame
          you spark in me.
in fickle inconsistent light,
i feel momentarily illuminated.
          and it's enough.
but unknowingly,
          [or knowingly],
i have walked into my own winter.
the clouds are thick,
like a grey blanket made of wool
that has been pulled over
           my eyes.
but it is your warmth
           i'm blinded by:
radiating in the slight distance
           always between us.
i let it take my senses from me,
and i am hopelessly lost--
constantly just out of reach
of any sort of spring.
i am lost, hopelessly lost
          in your colorless eyes.
so i read you like a map;
endowing the twists and turns
          of your body,
as if the road to my happiness
were printed on your skin.
i can only imagine
how those roads might look
if your limbs became intertwined
          with mine.
Allison Rose Oct 2012
i have decided that,
         like the ashes in november,
i must drop my leaves
and enter dormancy.

i must endure this season alone.

for one should never start a romance
          in the winter.
as one can never know
how the fruits will bloom
until the ice has melted away.

....yet i continue to read your body
like the map to happiness
is written on your skin;
and i wrap you around me
so i may trace my path up and down your arms.

i have decided
that i cannot let your hand
slip around my neck again,
but I still wear you
          like a winter coat.
i use your fleecy down
          to hide me
like november's blanket-clouds.

i need you
in the face of waning daylight,
because you light me like a lantern;
and the heat of the fickle flame--
          though inconsistent be the light--
seems to be my only source of warmth.

i have decided
that i cannot want you,
          but i need you
so I may endure this bitter winter.
Allison Rose Oct 2012
silent and half in shadow
i orbit to your obligation
pulling on your tides
          if i may draw you closer
dancing in hysterical pirouettes
i turn just for you

but as i spin in circles
you turn likewise for someone else
dancing your own frenzied dance
you look away from me
to gaze into the brilliance
          of her light

as i am tied to you
in concentric circles
you dance in wider orbit
around her fiery immensity
leaving me a spot of light
          in empty darkness

and even as i pour forth
all of me from my very core
i realize that the only light
          that i shine forth
is but a meager imitation
of her glorious radiance

surrounded by speeding rocks
i have become desolate and cold
full of craters of expansive lonliness
but i am always turning for you

i am under the spell
of your inescapable gravity
Allison Rose Oct 2012
Be my North pole
        as I am the South --
Two constant points,
Incessantly revolving
         around the same core.
Allison Rose Oct 2012
what i thought was heat
was just the smell of
melting wax...
Allison Rose Oct 2012
the very irony of this pursuit
is the stubborn root
over which i trip again and again and again...
Allison Rose Oct 2012
dark this
the stage. distant
the end
mystical self
not say
for property
good truth
beauty, through them
truth; not blind
warning, learned and
dark,
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