I am lost
in my exploration
of the notion
of relationships

Everybody says
true love is necessary
but nobody knows
yet what it is.

The collision of
human beings
is undeniable
but I can't seem to crash.

******* and twisted
In all of its mystics
The orange leaves sing me
An imaginary song
This is the place I am
Comfortable in.

The cold strips away
Everything on the trees
Leaving them dead and frozen
The wind contains malice
Meant to destruct the peace
Of Autumn.

Welcome to my palace, where you

Act
            On your instinct.
            Cut a little deeper.
            Pop another pill.
            Pull the trigger.

Voices
          
            Inside of my corrupted head.
            One says this.
            Another says that.
            I should end it.

Life

           It doesn't want me.
           It's failed me over and over.
           Wasting it's time with me.
           Nothing can fix me.

Flesh

          Mine is split open.
          No longer satisfied.
          Leaving is my only option.
          Good-bye.

Does he think I am trivial?
You do not find peace
If you avoid everything.
I need answers.

The truth can hurt, though.
So do I really want it?
I wonder if I leave
If it will solve his problems.
I designate myself: the culprit of them all.

I wish happiness
Was in a syringe.
Find a vein and inject it.
Without thinking twice.

I wish happiness was
In a pill.
One I can take ******
And wait for it to dissolve.

But it doesn’t come in these things.
I am not worthy of it.
I feel like there is no way out.
I am sinking deeper and deeper.

I’m gone: don’t expect me back.

The smell of your body
It’s not enough to stay surrounded
You lead me and
Fit around my tongue

Spent all my life empty on anthems
The seconds that it kept me warm
And I ache to remember
So wrapped up in the moment

And now the only time
I can hold you is in my mind
And that doesn’t seem to fill me up inside

Does it matter?
Am I of value to you now?
You broke every promise.
You brought me down.
You chained me with false hope.

Do you care?
Do you think I do?
I do not care.
I will make you miserable.
I will keep my promises.

Do you remember?
Did you think I would forget?
You trapped me.
I was held captive by fear.
You stood there and did nothing.

Weren’t you afraid?
Did you know I was?
The paper haunted me.
It always attacked my dreams.
Its mission was to ruin me.

The task was accomplished.
I hear them speak to me.
I have no control over my body.
I must do what it says.
I am forced to squeeze the life from you.