A casual observation
He was
looking at her,
like
she held the
key to the universe.
And for me,
looking at them
was like looking
into a mirror,
at us.
And looking,
it hurt,
because I
miss
being looked
at like I am priceless.

She was
looking at him,
like
he held up the sky.
And looking at that
made me remember
that baby sometimes
you hold up my sky.

I was
looking at them,
and
they kissed.
And it was so beautiful,
that it hurt me.
Because when their lips met
I remembered that,
kissing you,
was sometimes
so beautiful
that it hurt me.

And looking at that,
I know
what we had,
it's something that
I could spend an eternity
looking at.

I am no good at saying
No to you,
I only know how to hold it on my tongue
how to swallow it.

No
it is bitter
yet smooth
sliding down my throat
like coffee,
two creams,
no sugar.

No
does not stick in my mouth,
it slips down
into my stomach
easily
without complaint.

like something that I have practiced
my silence is muscle memory
and I do not choke on it
but it makes my insides churn.

And still, I let you return
over
and
over
so I can Not say No to you
Just once more.