dust begins to collect
frequent cleanings are nothing but memories of the past
your possessions remain
relics of what once existed

what happened to
the unbreakable bond
your endless creativity
my deceitful beauty
how can such things deteriorate so quickly

and now we sit
legs crossed
naked
in so many forms
clinging on to the past
analyzing all uncertainties
wondering of the true capability
of change
of resolution
of depth

the way things were
reminiscing
infinite romance
joyous love
unscathed hope

we are the storm

and now we find ourselves
right where we started
longing for love
lusting for something lasting
neither of which led us here

we both know
it will never
it can never
the bond
irreversible
unstoppable

one question lingers
as it always has
for days
for weeks
for years
decades slip by so quickly

one thing is for certain
nothing lasts forever
but
*nothing ever fades

permeate throughout my palette
worthless toothbrush
useless mouthwash
the bad taste you have left never seems to fade

pervading throughout my nasal cavity
ineffective tissue
pointless sniffle
the sickening smell of yours does not dissipate with time

imbued remnants of a touch
meaningless baths
wasted soap
my skin still crawls from our contact

a lingering voice provoking auditory aches
cotton swabs provide no relief
an inserted finger only jabs away
i feel as though my ears are bleeding

you have left me with something i wish not to have
you have shaken my senses and there is no going back
i no longer have control of these basic instincts
instead i have fallen victim to the havoc you've wreaked

how i long not to experience any of these things.

unbeknownst to me, it was here
staring me in the face

our eyes, locked
intertwined views
a static gaze
the face of one

suddenly
without warning
my heart sank
eyes flutter
lungs emptied of air
unable to catch my breath
unwilling to speak
blinded by the sight of it all
all is him

i fidget
he wrinkles
we smile
are such smirks out of fear
or purely of relief
here we are
together
at last

yet
we still long for something more
unsure if it is even attainable
we strive to achieve
our hearts bleed
our souls stretch
like pinched skin
rubber or flesh

we dance
rather stumble about
drunk on a love
high on each other

is this really it
despite my desire to temporally transgress
to seek truths
we must remain in our current state
the fast forward button is broken

wait
maybe this is actually repeat
although it could possibly be shuffled
i would not dare rewind
although the desire to pause is often present

all that's left
is anticipatory anxiety
and dreams

and you
and me
perfection? perhaps
purity? oh please
persuasion? plenty
poetry? positively

i cannot wait to see what happens next.
one thing is for certain
good
bad
happy
sad

this is the forever mix
only one question still remains
are you the dj or the turn table

you remind me of a cigarette
slender
long
a haunting spirit

a distinct scent
ashy at times
somethings youre nothing ****
two tones

i crave you in the morning
i require you after lunch
i need you in the evening
i long for you all day

smooth
full flavored
powerful yet delicate
you could burn me
but i could break you in half

when im jonesing
its for you
and you alone
i refuse to share you
i pack you tightly

youre mine
and youre smoking

what if the lines on our finger tips
are really the pathways and channels we explore in life...

i ride my bike through the same trail
day in and day out
i try to switch it up but i think i've found one that i really love...
so i use it repeatedly
like a grooved in habit
i wonder if my body shows it

are my muscles accustomed to the steep hill at the end or the gradual climb in the beginning
do my legs move to the environment? the bend, the turns, the switchbacks
is my body the story around me?

expressions

what if the lines on our finger tips
are really the pathways and channels we explore in life...

Is it luck?
Or shall we call it fate?
The series of events that led us to this place.
Hardly alone, we are together
Yet I feel this strange sense lingering
One I am somewhat familiar with
One that seems so foreign
I cannot quite place my finger on it
Mostly because it is not tangible
But also because I have trouble grasping the concept
Let’s speak in terms of this happiness
Shall we?
How do you know when you’re there?
Perhaps it is a place
Lush with vegetation and life
The beauty of nature embodied in a select location
Or is it more like a fragrance?
Titillating your sense of smell
Inciting nostalgia or an appetite
It could potentially be a sight as well?
Your visual desires
Optical stimulation at its finest
Surely it must be none of these things
That is when the tricks come in
Delusions and illusions
Games and misguidings  
Delight and torture
A complete lack of understanding
How do I know what I am feeling when I am feeling it?
I am sure some will think I am quite the fanatic for searching so far into myself
Others might think the answer is quite obvious
I, however, find it quite perplexing
An answer on the tip of my tongue
Simultaneously lost in translation
My senses are numb
I struggle to find firm ground so that I may stand again
If this is it, how can I be certain?

say what you mean
mean what you say

use your words to confuse
although i try my best to understand
you try your best to prevent that

its difficult to know how someone feels
when their emotions have been twisted and contorted to fit into a verse

manipulation through words is bittersweet
allude to what you want and how you want it
but never come out and say it
cowardly or brilliant

its perplexing to wonder if someone methodically goes about writing their poems
hoping the reader will hang on every line
ponder about the choice in every word

will the poet effectively convey their message?
is that even their wish?

i hate asking questions i know will never be answered
but i refuse to stop investigating
i must examine all the things

so here i sit
my eyes moving left to right
line to line
verse to verse
stanza to stanza

and i hope
i hope that i comprehend
i hope that i can appreciate
i hope that i have received your message

i just hope the message was for me

methodical
tedious
heavy

every piece has its own special place
or does it?
tricky little *******

don't tell me something is missing
oh but of course!

start on the outside
the easy stuff
and work your in way

unbelievably difficult
something that appears so easy

i feel like im being deceived here
working so hard to figure this out
trying to solve this
to understand
to clinch victory
im not the kind of girl who gives up so easily
im not the kind of girl who has unfinished tasks

its not science
its not math
its not art
come to think of it
it might be all of the above

it feels incomplete
its too soon to tell though
only time will assist me in this endeavor
that, and patience

unfortunately
my grasp of the latter is minimal to say the least
i hope the clock does not stop  
i hope i do not let the frustration swell up inside me
only to erupt

because i will kick this effing puzzle onto the floor.
bet.