curling up under someone elses covers
over my head to hear my breath
and to bloom forth a cloud
of an alcoholics perfume

listening to a train toot over
a gentle sob
digits clasped tight to my brow
tears running over the joints never cut

thank god im whole
****
i said god again

the things that i love are alive
including myself
for now anyway
and feeling this deeply counts
in fact
the emotion itself counts as life
it breathes with me
well
with you mostly
but me too
we can share right?

the things i love
they wriggle
gossip
bloom
become buoyant
or adrift
they are literate
and simultaneously silent
they are theifs
and simultaneously altruistic

all the things that i love
these things that i love
they are within you
and i only borrowing them
not renting
though i did buy you that....
****
i never bought you anything

so yeah
borrowing.

this one doesnt count
its on private
no one else can read it
you dont have to worry
about what ill write this time

i swear to ******* christ
i wont cuss in this one
i wont talk about you
at least not as the "******" woman
you admit to being
your words not mine
but i wont use them
i dont even agree with them
those syllables would never
spill from between these lips
guilty conscience perhaps
nah
if i can muster something like that
then you couldnt

i dont think the next lines matter
the supposed resolution...

i know that im at fault here
writing lines that point to and accuse you
on what moral grounds do i stand?
if any they are shaky

i must hold out may hands as if to surf
(i have never done that by the way)
to steady myself
and through my accusations
and through your actions
us

to use the queens plurality
we dont need this
in fact
we
we dont need
a single other thing, dingus

but you knew
and i did too
and as much as
EYE
and EWE
despise all of it
im sure
sure of it
that we can come out the other side
more willing than ready
to tackle
THE MOST SERIOUS SNUGGLEFEST

snugglefest for the win.
bi

thats where i ****** up
swearing everything i penned for you
oh ****
i just realized that this will never trend
i said **** and ****
well
this one deserves it
you champ
me chump
and you dance like the butterfly
in the next life
and i the bee
bumble that is
swollen and noisy
im doing circles around you
pacing more than anything
while you flutter
i beg for a pace like that
something that is literally lofty
hold me up
and ill give you the pressure
in the opposite direction
a stress that compliments
a slow ascension
as long as were going up
in the appropriate direction
cloudward

i thought i heard the ******
of the blue bell around your neck girl
i paused my creative trickle
to chase you
all around this property and that one
i hugged your mom
washed my hands
rolled up my sleeve
and you were still gone
into the cat ethers

you werent even meowing
hell
how are we supposed to feed you
when you wont return the "HIIIIII!!!"
we yell at the expense of our own self-esteem

i opened all the doors for you
just to return and keep my seat
on that armchair warm

the only place you could have been
more removed from my line of sight
least advantageous to your keepers
most absent from your natural environment
least accommodating to our directives
the only place you could have been

curled up and purring
after all that???!
seriously.
i had to get on my belly
to see you laughing at me
cool in your aunts room
tail wagging

"I FOUND HER!!!"

i was swimming
its more like flailing really
just trying to stay afloat
to return to shore
to move toward
a place where i could be sure-footed
or at least MORE sure footed
flapping my arms like this
hell
i would have settled for quicksand

thats when i realized how blue the waves were
how clear
the medium that housed
the vibrantly colored guppies
the sunset that illuminated them
palpabale and tactically enticing
clouds that you could
both consume and caress
how warm the water
how cool the breeze

then a relaxed posture
a calm breast stroke
to the nearest outcropping
and after i approached
scaled it to its pinnacle
bare feet and hands
****** now for good reason
but here i stand
atop lush grass
drip drying
with a view towards
the place where i floundered

ill stay up top
here with the magnificent view
you take the "hi" road
and ill take the high road
as long as we meet here
at the overlook
as long as we hold hands
gaze towards to waves
time the tide
encounter enchantment

we can swim later

your hiatus

from me
cut off the lights
and read in the dark
whatever it is that you need to

its clear
that i distract you
you get nothing done
whenever im around you gabbing

im itching
clawing my skin
getting you from under
easier said than could be done

comfort yet
just knowing it
we still read minds
youre listening from hours away

still though
you need plugs
to protect your ears
because these thoughts arent quiet

im screaming
with the electricity
firing between each synapse
and it shows through where i pace

soon though
certain of that
counting down the days
when i trade combat boots for bare foot

call soon
or write even
anything beats all this
writhing and pulling out my greys

i have even considered breaking poetic structure to tell you
that im waiting just by the phone for your ring tone
i promise to stop biting the nails to the quick
just when you give me that jingle or note
swear ill stop writing anxious poems
stop calling you every single 3 AM
cease to leave our song on loop
chase out all my cars dust
shave my whiskers
eat every meal
drink nothing
bathe nightly
dr. artist
me

im not done
but ill stop

the winner of the sloth fight
is the one who stays awake longest

uh
so i win right

hey
hey
hey
are you awake
you awake

YEAAAHHH
i win!!!

oh ****
i think hes moving

the first person to fall asleep
has awaken
am i losing?
just because he lost
his grasp on sound slumber
i should hang my head in shame

*******

im still prancing
in the forest bed
holding up
all six of my claws
and grinning
in victory
that sloth grin

fine
lets call it a draw
im getting tired

yawn