Today I realized how alone I am
I'm not alone but in all reality I am
Friends, mm can't seem to keep 'em around
Feels like I try too hard with them.
try to speak, get cut off.
Not them, it's me
I think.
Do they even like me, or are we just friends cause it would be inconvenient not to be.
the thought of caring doesn't seem to pass my way
or does it...
why hang around those who make you feel alone?
A room full of people you know
And none to make you feel like you're at home
Sad isn't it?
Outcast, thats what it is.
Its what i've always been.
the last to know a secret
The last to know what they really think.
Loner, lonely loner
Born alone, die alone, guess its time to change my motto
This has sat heavy on my mind for months now
Solitary lifestyle.
****, it really does **** to be alone.
I mean they've tried. So I think.
People get replaced everyday, it's okay I tell myself
But, is it normal to feel like this? As if it's not going to bother me?
Maybe I just need to go.
Go somewhere where no one will find me. Where I'll be alone but, won't feel alone.
Buy a ticket. Just go.
Got this tattoo, don't know what it means anymore. Don't think they feel the same way anymore.
I guess it's normal to feel like this. I'm just so used to it. Numb to it.
So maybe this is my way of saying goodbye
or, maybe this is just me waking up.
I won't know until I'm not feeling alone anymore.


**But, until then.

I'll write you I love you cause I'm too scared to say it aloud.
Soft spoken, strong minded
Anxious, can't fight these butterflies
So fly, down to your shoelace
Rough hands, so beautiful.
Hands that tell stories.
The way your eyelashes flutter as you blink.
As we speak, melodies softly play
The thought of losing you,
I'd go insane.

I won't ask for much, but one thing I'll ask constant, don't leave.
Stay with no intentions on leaving
& if you do leave, leave with the intentions on returning again.

My intentions were never to love you.
Picked you out the crowd & I sought'd you out.
Thought about you, I knew you thought about me too.
Felt confident, like I knew what I was doing.
I love my girl, but I started liking you too.
Invited you over, figured you'd stay the night.
You definitely did.
right then & there, I knew I had it
First night, we ******. I thought nothing 'bout it, but I felt something happen
A connection, a lust attraction
I was lost in the thrill, lost in it all.
She did something to me, but my girls got a hold of me.
I don't wanna leave her, but I don't wanna lose you.
*******! Who said I can't have my cake & eat it too?
If my girl finds out, my words won't be able to make up for what I've done.
She's my backbone, my better half
You, I just love ******* you.
But, that's not all you're good for, you remind me a little of me.
The two, my muse.
It's like, I'm torn between you & her
But I know where I rest my head at at night.
Just something I've never done before, something I've never been through.
I put you through some ****, didn't I?
Pillow talking. **** was I thinking?
I never told you how sorry I am. But you can see it in my eyes.
You never had to tell me how you felt, your eyes give you up.
When you come around I feel soulful, like I got something to live for. Something to write 'bout.
I won't tell you I love you. I'm not all about giving high hopes.
See, I can't predict the future, but I do know I want you in mine, I see you in it.
Now if this becomes too much for you, can't do it no more, your heart stops smiling for me.
Leave.
I don't wanna be the reason for your baggage.
The damage.
What's done is done.  know my intentions were never to love you...
But I do.