sitting, reminiscing, wishing
you were here to mend my broken heart
your the only one who can fix it
because your the one who tore it apart
"the first is always the worst" they say
but I didn't think it'd be this hard
loving you came easily
but to you, I was easy to discard

It is without a doubt
that this pill
has been placed
on my tongue
and begun to melt.
I cannot get myself
to swallow,
however.
I'd rather choke
on it's pasty residue
and after matter.
I will not
be held responsible
for something
I did not accept.
I will do everything
to fight
the after effects.
But,
what if resisting
will make it worse?
What if the pill
hits my body
and begins to hurt?
You see
I blocked it out
as long as I could.
But sooner
or later
it has to absorb.
And then
it will hit me
like a ton of bricks.
I should have
accepted
so I was ready
to cope with this.

Fell asleep thinking about the old house yesterday
And the adventures in the backyard where I used to play
Three acres might seem like a lot for little kid
But I knew those woods better than my parents did
My wooden teepee served as a safe haven
When the world didn't feel like a suitable place to be in
I dreamed about Max my old best friend
Who kept me safe from nightly creatures and boogy men
Just a dog who still has a special place in my heart
A great dane who was five when the world made us part
I thought about the overlook where we dumped our leaves
I remembered the long days just me and the trees
These days those woods have Max and Phoenix too
The Golden retriever who got me and my sisters through
Much of that thing we call childhood
I didn't know it then but now I would
Give anything and everything to go back
And run wild through those backyard paths
Then I was free, I did not care or notice
That things weren't exactly how they were suppose to be noted
Now I reside in this fowl world where I can't spare a minute
Take me back to the time when my world had no limits

My heart is beating out of my chest
This close contact
is putting my self-control to the test
You made up some lie
Sure to endure me
Sure to intrigue me
And you were right
At this moment
I'm sure that you've got me
Now my hair is a mess
I'm bearing just me
You told me I look my best
But it's hard for me to see
Our minds are both racing
Your eyes, they catch mine
Silent and awkward
Oh please just pass time
Then you went for the kiss
A little off
You just missed
But it was perfect
Beautiful, brilliant
You put your bravery to the test
I was young, naive and innocent
But when you kissed me you meant it

She's only happy when everyone's sleeping,
It's when she feels alive.
As all the silly people slip into oblivion,
She's right there by their sides,
All through the night,
Until the darkness subsides.

Blue eyes, blond side swept hair,
Mascara smudged make-up everywhere.
"Love was never in the cards for me" she says.
"Well what about right now?"
And in the midst of love and bliss,
She believes this lie somehow.

Another day,
Again as fast as they come, they're gone.
Leaving her begging,
"Please don't tell me this is how it's going to be."
But as fast as they leave,
They don't disappear.
Smoked-stained clothes,
Empty bottles, broken hearts,
And half-filled cans of beer
Is what they left behind.
"Why, why, why?"
"I just don't want to be alone this time."

It was a beautiful night
to have you back by my side
everything could have been wrong
but it would still feel so right
I cant speak
as you load your luggage
and hurry into the passengers seat
so this is what it feels like
to be complete

but your eyes tell the story
of someone I don't know
your clothes have the scent
of places i've only been told
i would've be scared to hold your hand
if i had known
that four months from now
i'd be all alone

well now your dust is in my eyes
and i cannot see
this used to be something
in which i used to believe
but when the benefit
has nothing to do with me
i become selfishly un-wanting
of what you may need
but it's a two way street
it's exactly what you've done to me

right now your just a memory
I used to feel your warmth on me
and it's crazy to think
that it was a necessity to me
but one more night
of your face outlined
on computer screens
i swear i'll start to question
how much of this i really need
i'll start to question
how much of you i really need

Midnight strikes
Up on the clock
We feel it pass
Our eyes look not
Slowly drifting
Past our limit
For this sin
Please be forgiveness
With every sip
The time hands tick
Down our veins
The poison drips
It's washed away
With ruby reds
Crystal whites
And water threads
Electrons fire
Out of control
Lost in confusion
Nowhere to go
Pathways merge
And sparks erupt
Assistance hurries
In a rush
It's still outside
So plain and simple
Take a sip
And life belittles
Problems that are
In our way
Persistent trouble
Rainy days
Pushed aside is
Sadness, sorrow
Though pity will reside
Sunrise tomorrow 
And not for my life's
Unfortunate standing
Not for the deck
Which I have been handed
But because I chose
To indulge in this
Life's simple road
To sudden bliss

waiting for you day and night
I pretend I'm alright despite
the frustration I feel inside
but I won't bring us down and cry

days keep flying past
misty mornings come
but they never last
I don't mind the time
slipping away so passionately
the sooner I get to see you
the sooner I get to see you

right now I'm alone
sitting by the window half closed
it makes me feel alive
when the sun hits my eyes
and reminds me
that you have to live yours
and I live mine

I don't know what to say
Now that everything's not okay
I'm just sitting here wishing I could
Drink the pain away again
One more time
But it never helps fix anything at all
Just the thought of what's gone wrong
Makes me so sick I could run
Take that one way escape
And never have to look back again
Wouldn't that be easier
Than facing what I've done?
So say what you will
And do whatever you want
I know I'm so good at making life
So difficult
You don't deserve it
And I don't know how to fix all my faults
So now I'll tell you I'm sorry
And then we'll hang into promises
I just can't get your head to a place
Where you will worry less
Please forgive me
I'll do anything I can to right this wrong

I turned around
And you weren't there
My soul went cold
The room was bare
Dust slowly settled
On a quiet calm
You felt so real
But now you're gone
You left behind
Your haunting story
And in my heart
A storm is brewing
Our masterpiece
Has been redrawn
We had it all
What have you done?

New life has come
Upon this year
It's been six months
Since you were here
Still in my mind
I hear your voice
And on my hands
I see your choice
I’m caught between
Reminiscing and forgetting
I'm stuck beneath
Recovering and missing
Id give anything
To change the past
I just hope you've
Found peace at last.

they're still debating
and I'm just waiting
while the world is fading
around me
you see
i'm not strong enough
to give a ****
so I don't
because I don't have the guts
to stand up for myself
if I felt
differently than everyone else
so we blame everyone else
tiptoe around ourselves
and our responsibility
“oh this world is a terrible place”
I hear them say
as they do nothing
to make it change
they debate
or wait
or watch it fade
"this world is a terrible place"
they say