These four walls are closing in,
quickly becoming my only friend.
I want so badly to call them foe,
but they’re the only sanctuary that I know.
Outside these walls I am free,
to writhe in such eloquent agony.

These four walls leave something to be desired,
their meticulous blandness has left me quite tired.
Emotional or physical, which pain is worse?
I suffer both in this place to which I am cursed.
Do I have a choice and which would I choose?
Rational thinking has completely lost its use.
It seems I am forced so suffer both blows
amidst these walls where all time slows.

These four walls have crushed me whole,
they seem to demand my once pure soul.
Encased in pain, my heart has fallen hard,
I suffer in silence, playing my cheerful card.
I have foolish notions of what I could be,
if all these searing wounds didn’t plague me.
I don’t want to be sad, don’t mean to sound bleak,
but I’ve rarely felt a time when I wasn’t weak.


Out of these four walls I will move on,
though the memories will never be gone.
I’ll pick up the pieces and continue down this path,
I wish I could say that I knew I wouldn't be back.
Back between these four walls where I’m forced to heal
from the treacherous fate that my DNA has sealed.

I'm not finished, im not done
We're in no hurry, baby, we're still young
I have more to say, more to do
you cut me short, as if on cue
I was mid sentence, caught up mid stride
You cut me deep, acted like you had a free ride

Drove away with my all on board
I tried to hurt you back but its a double edged sword
my words hurt me, now I'm back on the floor
when I was with you my heart, it soared
as I lie here cut up and open 
trying to feel scarred, yet im still broken

to look at your face, its such a disgrace
you were never really there; a ghost in your place
respect me you say, but respect you did not
you took what was not yours and gave none back
watching and waiting but I never crack
Spat at my back and then in my face

respect me you say, but respect you did not
you took it too; the secret that was all mine 
now the knife hovers there just over my spine 
I lay watching and waiting for that final word
And this torment, well it's absurd
end it for for me, just say the word

scream it, yell it, dont let it go unheard
how I gave you the power, the power to me 
i gave almost all, i gave to you freely
I take nothing back, for what I said I felt 
looking in your eyes, though I still melt 
respect me you say, but respect you did not

I'm a new person, with new feelings to give
trust doesn't mean I've lost my chance to live
I'm allowed to breathe, but I'm still mad 
how worthless I was you, the power you had
its worthless now;  its back here
match me, kiddo, I kicked it up a gear.

words can poison.
when young we read fairy tales and fantasies,
fans of fictitious fables.
when "taught" religion we are immediately placed into a mind-trap,
with heavenly reward
and hellish repercussion.
allow independence
abolish imprisonment
words can cure.

When my ******* lofty
Thoughts inspire
Me to hate the God who
Loves me, cursing,
Spitting, trampling on the
Savior, I
Consider whether god is
Just a product
Made by Suffering—*******
Chinese finger
Trap of suffering—creatures
Hating creation,
Or a dual-natured
Being, but in
Stead of order versus
Chaos, He is
Chaos versus chaos.