Awaken me,
I say.
Painstakingly,
I began to see.

What's this?
This,
this beautiful bliss.

Around me,
surrounding,
bounded...
but free.

Free to grow,
free to give,
free to show,
how to live.

True love,
is around us,
not above,
but bounded.

You and me,
you are me.
you are free,
free to be.

the pendulum swings
I hit the height of it all
and then that pause
the apex of it all
THIS IS THE EVERYTHING
so it seems
just in that pause
everything else fades
blinded by emotion
deaf by thoughts
and then
something moves
a shift
a cosmic slap
everything shatters
and light breaks through
and the colors flood in
wrapping themselves around you as you fall back down
and slowly
every so
slowly
you feel balanced again
you laugh
how ridiculous that ourburst was!
how important it had seemed!
but the laugh stops short
because the shift is still happening
you are still moving
and you groan
because you know that the pendulum is still swinging.

You pillaged my heart
***** my mind
You gorged my soul
stole my innocence

yet

why do you insist on having more?

I gave you my light
I gave you my dark
I let you use my body
for all your sick pleasures

yet

why do you insist on having more?

you conquered me
I have nothing left to give

yet

still you insist on having more.

Together as One.
To gather as One.
Two gather as One.

Where does the love go when I lie still?
Sleepless dreams keep the illusion real.
Hard earned thoughts provide cheap thrills,
but when the mind is gone there is nothing to feel.

Who can graph the economy of pain?      
We sell it hot to those we hate;    
they do the same.  
Both sides don't try to hide;
they think the other is different in some way.
And they share the pain;
not realizing that pain,          
well,  
it's felt the same

It's like your dead, and I dread each day that I get trapped inside my head.

I want so badly to speak to you sadly, to share all these feels, there is a missing part of me that your supposed to fill.

This is requiring a self-control that is tempering my soul...

and I got so many questions but too afraid to go on the quests that gets them

like,

will the love prevail even after we failed? will I see you again and then we get to try again to win? Or is this it? This is the end? but what comes after the end except to begin...but what am I beginning?A new life without you doesn't feel like winning.

I've been quenched,my hearts been hardened and now I am numb.

I've been heated,my mind has meltedand now I am dumb.

I've been cooled,my spirit is tougher,but it is hard not to succumb...

This experiance of gaining self-control is painfully tempering my soul.