Put yourself in it
Don't try to put it in you
Give in what you can
Don't try to get out what it cannot
Shut your eyes and see all of it
Don't look for the details
For there are too many
And you'll blind yourself from it all
Let yourself be touched by it
Don't hide for it is everywhere and everything
Even you are it
It is you

Left me here in your space
I felt no need to reassure you
I had no fear for your reservation
Just a word to say farewell
Knowing so soon I would again see you

You'll come back to your home
When you come I never know
But I spend no time in anticipation
Nor do I wait with baited breath
I relax for I shall only briefly be alone

Then you're back
And masks are far from thought
As is any wall that was there before
No attempt to listen and read all at once
No worry of your sincerity or fear of showing mine
No lights blinding me behind eyelids black

I don't find myself usually
So I choose to be lost alone
Thinking no one wants to be in the company
Of someone who's attention is not their own

But now I have finally discovered
A person I want at my side
Who doesn't need to be by my attention smothered
And helps me search for what is in hide

They care not for contact of my eyes that wander
For they know I listen still
Nor do they try to my purpose plunder
And think not to question my will

She took off her mask for him
But all he saw was her making herself up for others
She let her beauty speak for itself with him
But all he saw was her dressing up for others
She let him see all of her, good and bad
But all he saw was her smiling for others
He never realised she gave her all to him alone
And looked only to what he thought she did not give
So much he never gave her any of him

I waited for something to happen when the ticking stopped
My body was frozen as if a time bomb
Waiting for something. For anything
Every bone ticking away like a timer
Waiting for something after the final seconds had passed
Not nothing. No it wasn't nothing
It wasn't an explosion
I wasn't broken apart with my shattered pieces falling away in teardrops
For it ****** me dry leaving no tears to be wept
Yet I was not ****** in an implosion
Not taken to another galaxy of a new life
No, it was a vacuum within myself, leaving me empty, leaving my body whole
To take in whatever was closest, which as it was, was sadness.
The bomb destroyed all around me
Leaving me nothing
No, not nothing.
Grief

I'm thinking
Thinking about many things
Thinking too fast to know what it is
I cannot say what I am thinking

It is nearly time
The time that has already passed
Time to be where I should be
Where I should have been last time

You speak to me just that one word
A word that has no intent
Yet I am frozen not by that word
But by the voice through which it has been sent

So happy, so at ease
But somehow I hesitate at each smile
Giving a chance for them to break
Waiting for the sides to fall
Because they will eventually
But I have no idea when

So I hold back while trying to push forward
Wanting to feel the joy
Attempting to forget the fear
Yet as much as I succeed do I fail
Every victory celebrated is ended
By a call pulling me down to the crowds

The parting was so final
But true were not the actions to the words
So here I am still happy
For that is how I was before
Believing that the farewell was a lie
Yet still fearing for the worst