nails in your back
skin twisting together
your hand so tight in mine
that i can't tell the difference
what's yours?
what's mine?
so close, so close
not even our ghosts
could slip between us
stardust pouring out my throat
raw and scratchy, the sound of hope
a sound for you
just for you
your hair standing at attention
like fireworks
like electricity
running all through
those veins
my veins,
****** lanes
my heart has been maimed
i am dirt, once a flower
caught in drought
and now nothing more
than ravished and sore
my blood, you are in my blood
no, your eyes are just grave sites
your heart some haunting tune
your hands move like spiders
they hold mine like handcuffs
your breath a cold wind
of a love i once knew
i did know it,
didn't i?
last night...we just ******
****** and nothing more
i'll show you mine
you show me yours
this is gone
so what am i looking for?
this is a con
and nothing more

words.
they feel so empty
lost, dragged out to sea
feel so dry on my tongue
feel so wasted in my lungs
i'm spitting corpses
awfully morbid
rotten, rotten
soon forgotten
this isn't fun anymore
this wasn't fun before
dragging my feet
like a paraplegic
but really, you all know this well
i'm just feeling sorry for myself
so sorry in my sickness
with none there to witness
so sorry in my health
so sorry for myself
nobody can seem to find
the bugs inside my mind
but baby, when the smack is flowing
all in my veins, i start going
oh, it's spitting in my blood
i touch the lips of love
god, it tastes so good to be dead
feels so warm, lying in this bed
right then, right then, i'm on
and i'm as good as gone
so move along folks, move along
heaven knows i'm strong
you all know this well
so sorry for myself
so sorry in my sickness
no one left to witness
so sorry in my health
so sorry for myself
so selfish, selfish, selfish
but don't you see this
the trigger by my finger?
i hesitate, i linger
but oh, it hurts to be
don't you see
the barrel kissing my temple?
don't you hear my whimper?
it's always been there, always will be
can't you see?
if i was selfish
i would've dealt with this
if i was living for me
oh baby, i wouldn't even *be

oh, those lips, i felt that breath
between my ear
and the crook of my neck
from your whispers i could hear
some haunting phrase
some taunting line
my heart appraised
but my name had been signed
so i stumbled, knowingly
into your open arms
cob webs spun with treachery
laced with venomous charm
those wicked, wicked words
"where have you been?"
that is what i heard
my thoughts began spin
as i screamed within myself
"NOT WITH YOU,
I KNOW MY HELL!
THIS HELL YOU DREW!
YOU SELFISH *******
HOW CAN YOU SPEAK
THOSE VILE WORDS
THEY MAKE ME WEAK!
I'VE BEEN FELT, BEEN SEEN
WITH HANDS TRACING MY THIGHS
AND ALL IN BETWEEN
BUT IN BETWEEN THE LINES
I'M STILL THE CHILD YOU LEFT
LEFT FOR DEAD, I BET SHE'S SWEET TOO
SWEET AS YOUR LIAR'S BREATH
BUT DON'T WORRY I NEVER BELIEVED YOU
WHEN YOU SAID 'YOU ARE THE ONE
ONLY ONE, I SWEAR'
AS YOU LOCKED AND LOADED THIS GUN
SO LET'S PLAY TRUTH OR DARE?
I DARE YOU TO LOOK ME IN THE EYE
AND SWEAR YOU DIDN'T KNOW
WHAT YOU WERE DOING WITH THOSE LIES
AND ALL THE PAIN IN ME YOU'D SOW
I WISH YOU'D GO, BUT YOU STAY STILL
STICKS AND STONES WILL BREAK BONES
AND YOUR WORDS WILL SURELY ****!
BUT IT IS YOU, OF THE MEN I'VE KNOWN
I HAVE CRAWLED INTO THEIR BEDS
AND THEY FILL THIS SPACE
BUT THEY CANNOT FILL MY HEAD
SO WHAT HAVE I BECOME? A SWEET DISGRACE?
OH, JUST **** ME NOW, EVEN THE SCORE
PLEASE, I'VE ALREADY MADE MY BED
LET ME BE WHAT YOU LEFT ME FOR
LET ME JUST BE DEAD."
but the words i spoke were not that
i whispered "i've been around...
and now i'm back"
that's when i hit the ground
pulled down like sinking sand
knowing i found my hell
in the touch of your gentle hands
i cannot run, not very far
i know my home, i know it well
within the cob webs of your arms
i find my home, this little hell

can't you see me?
i'm right here in front of you
i'm standing so tall now!
even after you broke my knees...
can't you see me?
i want to make you proud
make you smile at what i've become
look! i put on a show for everyone!
can't you see me?
you can have me if you want
you can have me any way you want,
any day you want and i hate it
oh, you can't see me
but look at my pants around my ankles!
look at my broken knees and how they ache!
now you'll have me, oh you've had me
i've been had, see?
oh god, you've known me
but still you cannot see me
your hands slip right through me
i disappear under your weight
all i want is to be free
but still, i don't untie me
can't you see me?
i know i make you angry
i know i hurt you, very badly
i know you never meant to hurt me
you were just so pained
but i want to take away your pain
i'll have it all, i'll take it all!
i'll break under the weight of your world
just to see you smile
i'll smile too
and don't you worry
i'll never tell anyone
how invisible i really am

i crave your body in my hands
but i find white knuckled fists
forming from the way you touch me
with your soft, honey lips
oh, i want to feel them trace
the outline of my spine
******* tear me into nothing
as i slip through the folds of time
boy, every time i feel your touch
i melt to gold, freeze to stone
clear my head of what i forgot to forget
and remember what i never knew i'd known
when i feel the gentle sting
of your sharp silver tongue
slipping under my skin,
spitting in my blood
oh god, i swear i am in love
you fill that hole, scratch that itch
when you touch me there, so touch me there
right above the wrists
i can taste you on my tongue
boy, death is on your lips
my five feet five inches
know nothing of your six
boy, this is as good as it gets
and i'm as good as gone
but it’s so good to be that way
when i have you in my arms
so pour me a drink
let it sear my tender tongue
nothing tastes as sweet
as the burn of your red ***
yes, fill my glass to the brim
yeah, let’s lock and load this gun
and fill me up, lift me up
with your red ***, red ***

i cut out paper figures from the sky, from the sea

string them together like little beads

then rip them, tear them apart

like the ventricles of a breaking heart

i take them away, let them learn

then crumple them, or let them return

to ****** them at each other once again

bang, bang, together, bang, bang, the end

i shatter them, explode, bright like dying stars

watch them limp on with battle scars

then throw them to every corner of the Earth

to wander, wondering what they are worth

what could have beens

should have beens

would have beens

bang, bang, together, bang, bang, like shins

i make them talk, talk in tongues

that take up time, but waste their lungs

they speak in words, but they are bluffing

they are the voice, the voice of nothing

and still they walk, gasping for air

searching for a hand to tangle in theirs

tangle them, tangle them up

bang, bang, together, bang, bang, to dust

paper figures, paper hands

with paper skin, paper dance

and paper hearts, all alone

just piles of paper, piles of bones

to be recycled, back to the stars

to play again, play their parts

to leave once more, unpaid but well played

bang, bang, together, bang, bang, they fade

i crumple them, crease their flesh

make them wear a wrinkled dress

to show their beauty, hide their pain

hide and seek, the name of the game

i cut them loose, they drop their useless tongues

throw mortal blether to the wind, fill their winded lungs

paper, breakable, tearable, terrible

bang, bang, together, bang, bang, forever