Silent, outspoken.                                                                                        
No power, devotion.
Giving up on everything I started,
No motion.

Do you hear me? I'm calling.
Trying to hold on, but I'm falling.
Putting off all my emotions till the last minute.
Stalling.

I hold it all in.
From the moment it begins.
Telling myself that the good people
Always get the most wins.

And I know I'm only human.
Our lives don't come in sets of nines
But in trying so hard to save time,
I imagine it move so slow it rewinds.

All my effort, it was wasted.
Put to no use where I placed it.
Maybe that's how it was supposed to go
So I could finally find its limit.

One last thing before I go,
I’m not saying that I’m gone,
But just like you did with your life
I am trying to move on.

So the lesson’s finally been learned.
If I get near you I get burned
And something else that you should know,
My trust is only to be earned.

Can't hear me? Don't bother.
Cause I'm no longer calling.
Did the message get across yet?
Do you feel the loss yet?
Please don't waste your time relaxing in fake mourning.
I swear to you that everything will be fine by the morning.

Could you do something for me?
Would you stay?

If only for a little while?

Lie down next to me.
Feel the warmth of my skin.

Our barriers so paper thin.

Take my pain.
I'll take your happiness.

Would you do me this kindness?

You'll feel me.
As I'll feel you.

And we'd forget who's who.

Give me your hand.
Brush your fingers under my eyes.

You could feel the memories that have dried.

We'd speak in whispers.
Loud enough to just reach each others ears.

Could you help talk away my fear?

So please stay.
If only for a little while.

And we'll be one.
Divided as two.

They only care when you're gone.
When you're no longer apart of their everyday life...
Maybe they'll miss you.
Maybe they'll say some kind words.

They'd say:
Oh, it's so sad that she's gone,
She was so smart
She was so pretty
She had her whole life ahead of her.

No one gives a **** when you're here.
They tear you apart, just to feel good.
You won't be praised.
Only a victim of their criticism.

And all you hear is:
Why are you even here?
You're never going to be anything.
You're not pretty.
You're not smart.
You... are not anything

So forgive me for thinking.
Maybe they'll care when I'm gone.
Cause they sure as hell don't care now.

It's hard.
To breath, to get by.

I think to much,
Cry too much
Make too many mistakes
Have too little successes

You pick out every flaw
Eager to show me what's wrong.
I'm at fault, I'm a mistake
I... am nothing in your eyes.

What does it take to make you happy?
Cause I know it doesn't matter to you, if I am.

I'm living today.
But I'm only fighting,
So hard to get to tomorrow.
To get to the tomorrow

Where you're not there to hurt me
Because that's all you know how to do.
All you ever do.
Criticise me.

You say I'm selfish
Yet I have never met a person as cruel as you.

Who am I?
To you?
To myself?
Why does it even matter?
We're both going to be gone in the end.
So can't you just let me live?

I want to be me.
A me without pain.
A me without regrets.
A me without burdens.

Let me be happy...
Because if by the end,
I'm not?
Why does anything even matter.

I really wish I could better understand myself,
Like be able to reach in, instead of reaching out for help.

I wish my thoughts wouldn't compress on my brain,
Begging to get out, begging to keep me sane.

And I've reluctantly come to notice,
When it comes to life, I'm actually just a novice.

I could pretend to know something about everything,
But in reality, I'm still endeavouring.

To succeed, to achieve,
To figure out what I need.

I struggle in my sea of confusion,
My arms tire as I swim to keep from losing.

How do you know when it’s all done?
When the final fights, fought and the war’s either lost or won.

And you sit there and think of all the things you could've done differently.
“Maybe I could've said something else, or only to a different degree.

The simplest things could change a lot,”
These thoughts always manage to get me distraught.

The mistakes I've made catch me at night,
Where I'm looking for myself, in a room with no light.

It’s hard to say, what I think I'm looking for,
It’s easier to say that I really just don’t know anymore.