to live today like it’s my last or to just exist through it,
a balance i’ll never find.

because she makes me feel as peaceful as a lilly soaking up the sun,
i could lay with her for hours,
bare, even when i feel so lackluster,
and she makes me feel like i could melt into the sheets beneath me,
melt with her,
to remind myself that even in the silkiness as we melt i must remember she still holds a flickering flame,
but when i lay with her i feel like i can finally exhale after all these years,
to remind my 15 year old self that it will all be alright,
maybe i should reconsider; people are boring and she is a fire that i will always follow.

the light dances through the leaves forming a kaleidoscope,
nature itself colliding together,
enriched by the suns gleaming rays,
powered by flower petals that may fall after season,
and crawling vines that entrap me ,
in a world that reminds me i must continue to grow

this is half of who i want to be

ingest me with your proboscis!
feast on my flesh!
bubble my epidermis!
choose me! drink me !
at least someone wants me !
then again if i see you please know i won’t hesitate to squish you between my fingers.

i think, anything but that thought
the needle on the record player always skips my song.
i don’t want to think about it!
tomorrow i’ll do it tomorrow.
i say that every day.

I wish I could change in phases as gracefully as you,
waning and growing,
dissolving into space through the break of dawn,
you remind me I will once turn to dusk,
my body returned back into the earth to line the ground with moss
push me,
your beauty and strength,
your femininity
I will kneel, head bowed , my spin curved downwards for your beams to cut through the night,
to wash over me,
wash over me like the great waves you create that pommel down on the oceans floor,
without you we would have no power.