My lips.. So numb,
so swollen,
so afraid to crack under the weight of the words that must be spoken,
because this is not what love is....
I ..I can no longer live ankles deep in misery know you're really not that into me,
I just make you feel good when need be
, but with your eyes half shut you cannot see me.... you're so full of lust
, no love,
I always knew that,
but that thought I would shove, because love can blind you so bad
, your heart can make you so oblivious
, so ignorant
, I need to leave you alone,
you've disgraced my throne, cracked my crown, every time you look me up in down
because I can never catch your eyes,
your gaze so distracted by what god sculpted you forgot to look at the soul god gave as a gift to you,


. Dear ex lover, by the time you read this you'll know why, baby it's been a year, you've never looked me in my eyes.

Your smell always seemed to linger in the seams of her favorite pair of jeans
Not matter how many times she tried to wash them, she could ever seem to erase, back track or wash away that smell
She continues in hope that the memory of the day you broke open the only thing she felt belong to her will fade with the bruises on her inner thigh
At 7:15  on a school night, you turned ****** Mary into a victim
Beat her face black and blue until you discharged white
Age tried to substitute **** for forced entry because she never thought "****" would land in her vocabulary
Such a word burned rolling off her tongue
Between her legs she remembers seeing a blood trail
She thought it would be the red carpet to heaven if she stopped trying to be strong enough, stopped trying to fight this beastly creature
That man died a month ago
Yet the sound of my voice screaming for my legs echoes in my head when I'm locked in a room with someoone
I'm afraid of locked doors and side glances, dark rooms give **** chances,
I'm shaking in my own skin

The rhythm of a clocks heart beat tends to soothe the rough patches of my mind
Can cause my heart to no longer bend at the whim of a wishy washy heart
A simple sound can turn my thought vivid
Contemplating on life isn't such an easy task some days
Sometimes such a noun can be so ambiguous,
Sometimes feel like a beautiful gift turned selfish
A gift so full of experience but no love,
Kind people, but no compassion
My mind lingers off beat sometimes and I just reminisce