Those hands,
Bring my waist to his,
Those hands,
Trail and fall along my back.
Gripping my ***,
Hands full as he lifts my body,
I am weightless,
In his kiss.
No feet on the ground,
I'm his.

Together on that battered love seat,
Our legs entwined.
We laugh as the hours,
Trail behind.
He plays with my hair,
Takes my hand,
And watches me.
Oddly aware of every move I make,
Blushing.
"What, baby?"
I ask but I know,
He's thinking of me.
He smiles almost,
Boyishly.

The day fades to night.

"As much as I don't want to,"
He begins.
I know it's time for this,
To end.
I gather my scattered clothes,
From the floor of every room,
In his apartment.

Smiling at the memories,
In every corner.
He makes me feel like I can finally get,
My **** in order.

I'm angry,
Because I feel old to you.
No novelty,
No desire to try and pursue.
Did you forget about me?
When's the last time that you,
Swept me off my feet,
And remembered to set aside a moment,
To feel complete with me?
Past the point of understanding,
I don't want this for my future.
Life unravels and people change,
But you went from extremes rather quickly.
You are not the same as you were,
In the summertime.
You felt my skin on yours,
I let your hands explore.
You put your lips on the fabric of time,
I felt it quiver with you.
But maybe that was all I am?
An escape from the busy,
And never,
Substantial or real.
You say you love and then remind me I'm not yours,
With the lies you repeat to all the world.
Nothing serious.

Stupid ******* girl.

It's too soon for you,
To look past me the way you do.
The walls around my heart are being reconstructed.
I loved too soon and that's my fault for trusting.

But I'm not going anywhere, alright?
Not until you force me out of your life.
As of now your arms are not that open..
So I'll stay at home and hope that I'm not broken.

I don't yet know the real you.
I see glimpses and I'm often surprised.

As time goes on I realize,
You're angry,
And you don't set aside the time.
I'm much too young to feel,
So cast aside.
Maybe you should prioritize.
Maybe you should listen when,
I'm feeling wise.
I'm afraid to tell you anything,
You're dismissive and defensive.
Is it bad that I am educated?
Rhetorical question.

Maybe you want a stupid girl,
A pretty fool.
Who can cook, and clean and satisfy you,
In a bedroom.
She'll apply her make-up and shut her mouth,
And let you be rude and stomp around.
Well these **** put her brain to good use.
I don't appreciate being told,
What I can say, or what I can do,
When it comes to helping you.
Because I'm just as, if not more stubborn than you.
I will fight to get across the words I know as truth.
I think in theories and educated guesses.
I don't leave room for faith and blind following.
So don't speak down to me in public.
Don't try to growl,
"I am man."
I do not back down so easily,
But remember I'm selective,
I am not a wife.
I have the freedom to go,
And I'll fly.

The words form along our lips,
Mine twist.
Stuck and jumbled.
I take a deep breath,
But my voice still fumbles.

You mean to say,
That you actually give a ****?
What is this?

"Tell me what you need to say."

Like the words in this poem,
I wish the words I have for you,
Would free flow and,
Exist without hesitation.

I trained myself,
To carefully select,
The words I choose,
In conversation,
Afraid of his reaction.

But these words are for you,
I don't mean to confuse.
I only want to love,
And be loved,
By you.

These words are not mine,
Anymore.
This silence isn't fine,
Anymore.
There is no bed that is mine,
Never was.
I can go back to the floor.
Just waiting for the words.
"I do not want you here,
Anymore."

It will rip,
It will drag from beneath me,
This safety and security.
I wait for the moment,
Where you see me for what I am.
Sad,
Miserable,
Lonely.

Who can love a girl like me,
Wrapped in all this misery.

I'm too serious,
And you're not going to like it.

That emptiness creeps in,
I am alone.
Your mouth is moving,
But I can't hear anything but:

"..using me.."
He says.

"..using me.."

I am so breakable.
You're only speaking in,
Hypotheticals.
Is it this easy?
Disappointment in myself,
Is overwhelming.
When did I give you the power,
To break me?

It's too late.
I've already let you past the gates.
Infiltrated.
You know it all and,
I can't go back now.
I can't go back.
I don't want to,
And I don't know how.
This life is meaningless,
Without you in it now.

Don't walk away,
Don't shut me out.
Wanting you is the only thing,
This was ever about.

But one day you will not remember.
One day you will walk away.

Don't be afraid of the dark,
Little Girl.
The real monsters are people.
They can't get you here.
Don't cry into the shadows,
Dear.
They will not help you here.

Evil calls you a daughter,
He tries to hold your hand.
Evil kisses you so sweetly,
On that little red-head.
You cry into the darkness,
Terrified and spineless.
But darling,
You were bread in violence.

You were born to cry.
So learn to lie.