She was buried,
Under years of neglect,
Dust,
And fragments,
Of death and sadness.
Greeting the sun,
With a hatred,
Finding no peace in her sleep.

Every man that laid possession,
Claimed to be her protection,
Left her,
Abandoned.

She stood only alone,
And crawled,
To build her own home.
While they tore down the boards,
And used them to cage her.

****** knees on the weekend,
She danced for more men,
And found solace in piles of cash.
So they taxed her,
And ***** her,
They did nothing to save her.

Cornered and lost,
Searching for hope,
In the mirror
Her own eyes a stranger.
Where was the light that made her?
Eyes sunken and black,
No voice,
Just a shrug off their shoulders.

They drained her,
And played her,
Used her and,
Forgave her.

She felt nothing at all,
They maimed her.
Shared her,
Left nothing to spare her.
She's over and done.

They won.

I step into the room,
Remove my shirt to prevent,
The evidence.

It's good for you, stay strong for me.
He says in a message.

But I can't hold off amymore.

This is my battle,
My world.

Crying on the bathroom floor,
Lost control looking for,
A way to keep sain.

On my knees,
Slowly,
Tickling my throat,
With a writing utensile.
Keep breathing,
Short, quick.
And let it release.

This will be over if you keep pushing on.
She says in a mirror.

This is the cost of perfection,
The pain of dedication.
My chest stiffens.

But you're my picture perfect.
He says in a message.

An image to fall for,
A frame of reason,
To get where you need to be.

But here I am praying to my porcelain.

Adding the bites of failure over and over,
In my mind.
Let it out,
Let it go.

All of my energy flushes away.
This picture isn't perfect,
It's held up in place,
Meant to be a beautiful mistake.

Failing all over the place.

I bet you're just beautiful.
He says in a message.

If beauty was tragic.

*This beauty is,
Tragic.

Pretend she is me,
Pretend I am the body,
That you need.

Dancing to the rhythm,
of that alien beat.

She's rolling and twirling,
Around you and for you.
With you and on you.
Those glossy eyes roll back,
In defeat,
And you want to feel more,
She's making you weak.

Your hands shake,
And she's breathing your soul,
Your breath quivers,
Trapped, in her control.
You,
      Are,
                    No longer mine-
            
                           anymore.



I close my eyes and pretend it was me.
Making you wetter,
with each ****** inside me.

I know it's the end,
  You make it easy to read,
     Because she stole your light,

*And ran back to the sea.

She dried her eyes.
Removed the old and tattered clothes.
Washed her face in the sink.

She removed her garnments,
Laced, pink.
Slowly, careful with every piece.

She picked out his favorite dress,
And decided on the jewelry.
Gold, silver, diamonds, she'd keep.
Slowly, careful with every piece.

She applied her make-up,
With expertise,
The powders, creams, and primers.
Slowly, careful with every piece.

She let down her hair,
From that day old bun,
And fashioned it up,
Slowly, careful with every piece.

She cleaned those shattered dreams,
From the floor and walls.
Her heart was broken, crushed porcelain.
Slowly, careful with every piece.

This is what empty feels like.
Drained.
We fought too hard for you to quit the race.

Staring me down and finishing that last,
Swig.
You ask me to open another bottle.

I don't want to open anymore of these bottles.
You don't want to fight anymore of these battles.
You just,
Want to **** me every night.

I just want to feel whole and,
All right.
Crying when you **** me from,
Behind.
Hiding my face,
Mistaking sobbing for satisfaction.

We're ending. We're over.
It's the same thing,
Old and worn tired.

We didn't crumble this time,
We didn't cry.

You've still gotta' leave my bed tonight.
I can't pretend that this is fine.

I can't pretend to be your ***** *****.
You never say "I love you" when,
We **** anymore.

Push my head into the pillows,
hold me
just hold me

Nobody holds me.

Small shoes and,
Tiny dresses.
She holds my fingers.
And he takes another bottle,
From the fridge.
Puts it to his lips.
She's crying,
We're hungry.

I wake up from my dream.
It was not real
She is not real

He opens his eyes.
It's just us two,
And his breath still smells,
Like the wheat.

"Marry me" he says,
Smiling.
I can't.
I can't.
Live my nightmare.

Your eyes study me,
Searching for the signs that we are,
Still,
The same.
Do you see the years,
Gone by?
I can see you want,
To try.