You grow up farther away,
From the truth of,
Our youth.
In the form of morning,
You approach me as if,
There was something to say.
But you always walk away.
Nothing else can see you,
In the light that I do.
But you press on,
As if you never knew my name.
Remember me,
When you're old and grey.
Remember me as if I stayed the same.

I always lose you,
But you are so easy to replace.
Many colors and patterns,
Yet they all work the same.
You are never near when needed,
And I need you the most.
You always hide in the shadows,
Waiting for me to find you,
But this relationship is so one-sided.
With flames that burn the weeds.
Of this I'm always in need.
You are only to be lost,
Lighter,
In the hands of me.

I can go forever,
Searching the walls for smiles.
Higher.
You bring such a light.

If you can just keep smiling,
Everything might be alright.

"Give it a go,
Just hold it in, then blow."

Fly.

Cut straws remind me of that place.
The lingering smell gives me a headache.

Empty pens that we've misplaced..
Bring back the memories disgraced.

*Wipe that ******* smile off your face.

Are you there..?
I always think you're listening.

It's got me censoring.

Perhaps my thoughts are just so loud,
You can hear them through the walls.
My own thoughts are not safe here.
I yell so loudly,
That only sleep can keep it down.
Only sleep,
When I scream at myself.
Sometimes yelling is the only way,
To keep the whispers out.

This life is at a standstill.
I can repeat the lie but I know it isn't true.
What can you do,
When the future is thriving,
But the past is dead?
Those young faces are cold and distant.
I'm not the little girl I once was.
So full of hope and ignorant,
The small things meant much more to us.
I'm not letting go,
Or saying goodbye.
But I won't blame you if you try.

I have survived,
With only half of my heart broken,
With as much dignity as what's been taken, and
Hope as far as I can throw it.

I have trained myself,
To be aware of what is worst to come,
To close my eyes in darker times, and,

To know that I cannot be loved.

I have faced,
A rope that leaps to outer space,
A cliff with rocks and waves down at it's base, and
Held on to,
A crack head with my name.

Although the lesson that I learn is never the same,
The outcome remains.
I was ruined,
Painted smile to be seen.
Never seeing the rotting core to the depths of me.

Healing.

You must first fall,
To stand again.

Straightened.

The floor is starting to roll from underneath me..
I can't see
Through the fog.
The music is pumping
Throughout my veins.
My heart is set,
On vibrate.
My lungs might explode,
As the drug takes it's toll.
And the walls start to move,
Now I'm down on the floor..
Where is my friend?
Why did she leave?
Chelsea?
This guy helps me up,
As he fills up my glass.
I sip at the *****,
And dance to the beat.
I spill my drink.
He laughs at me,
And pulls me aside,
Asking me if I want a good time.
I think he means ***,
But possibly drugs.
And drugs,
Make everything twice as fun.
I asked if he's holding,
He said he was.
But only if,
I
Can
Please.
Exchange *** for drugs,
Man that sounds kind of rough..
But I do it.
And it was,
Fun.