The only place

that allows me to be me.

The only place

that i am finally free.

To escape everyone

even if they walk in.

Th doctors in coats

injecting their drugs.

Sadly enough

i couldnt ask for a hug.

All i wanted was to be loved

but insted only got a cry for help.

Being alone...

and tied in my thoughts.

I really don't know

how to end this poem.

All i know is...

i'm in a padded room

tie in a straightjacket

ready to crack.

Hide me Hide me
in the shades
under the trees
and behind the bushes.
Away from everyone
who is trying to find me
who is willing to do harm
by there hurtful hands.
Hide me Hide me
in my house
in my basement
under my blanket.
I don't want to hear
there taunting noises
nor do i want to see
their prying eyes.
Leave me alone
to be alone
to carry on
what i have left.
I don't know what i did wrong
i don't know
why you doing this
from now to my final end
I will put you on
my suicide list.

Every noise he makes
every screetching noise he plays.
Louder and louder
i cover my ears.
I close my eyes tight
and think happy thoughts.
Its too loud i said.
All i want is for it to stop.
I cry every note he plays.
I want to bang my head
against the hard ground.
I want to see the blood flow out
as he plays his song.
It hurts to think
i cant even finish this poem.
It becomes more and more loud
even his song cries out for help.
We been through so much
even beaten by a clutch.
Although he plays till night
i am still in fright.

I been seeing things
but they are not connected to strings.
Every corner i turn
it seems to burn.
All the faces i see
i feel like an escapee.
There thoughts
i can hear them loudly.
Its hard to run away
even when i pray.
Their eyes
they show a shadow if their past.
Haunted memories
flooded the place.
I cover my ears
so i cannot hear their painful moaning.
I'm shaking in fear
as their words pierce me.
These are the things
i can not be free from.
I know i am not in much of help
but hearing your cries
makes me cry.

Sticks and stones
May break mine bones
But words can never hurt me.
Sticks and stones
Are thrown at me
Bruising my head and ribs.
Insults are harsher
Laughter is louder
They said words can never hurt me
They are right…
I’m not hurt at all
I’m torment.

I am a walking disease.
If I’m willing
I will drink a cup of bleach.
If I wasn’t allow to teach
then throw me a rope.
As I teach myself
to hang from a beam.
Was it a dream?
to be a walking anorexia.
A human who can’t feed herself
properly to perfection.
Was not eating an infection
that consumes my everything.
I am a walking disease
who can’t be trusted by a knife?
Is this a way of life?
That I have scars
that should be
put behind bars.
Or could I jump
in front of a car.
Yes I do have a problem
that sometimes can be taunted
Like I am and will be
I am a walking disease.

Painful Tears
Hurtful Thoughts
Dying Nights
Killer Victims
Walking Freaks
across the street.
Loud Preachers
screaming in my ears.
Supporting Friends
who dont understand.
It seems like
i'm being punish
Praying to God
whom i ask for forgiveness.
What words…
will stab me
till i have internal bleeding.
When will the darkness
surround my every being.
Will i have my eyes open
to see another day
Or my eyes close
to see the internal night
forever…

What deed did i breath?
For what i am to beileve.
I did nothing wrong
but it seems i cant stay strong.
Its been to long
but life is to short.
Can i abort
from what my fate has erupted.
But will it be rude to interrupt
what is play to be disrupt.
I am walking on thin glass
but i will show no class.
I feel like an escapee
that needed to be free.
From Jail
to bail.
I drag my nails
against the rusty rail.
I feel the blood
becoming more like a flood.
As i am empty out
all my doubt.

Do you hear the rain
cracking against my window?
The stormy clouds
that cover my mind.
The antidepressants
all over the counter.
I lost what i used to know
the feeling of enjoyment
that use to brighten my day.
My friends
i knew and love
that walk out in my life.
The lover i trust
who pack his bags and left.
I trap in my own room
the walls are closing in.
Feeling like…
i'm trap in a box.
No one is here
to smooth my troubles.
No one is here
to hear my cries.
No one is here…
to tell me…
i will stay here
and watch you
till you crawl toward me.
Tears flowing from your eyes
as i have open arms
to cradle you in
and say the right words to you.
I sit here
staring at the window
wondering…
where did everything go.

The marks on my arms
the needle in my hand.
The ugly stabs
that was on the tip.
I must hide away
I must fade somewhere.
The rules i must exceed
to be perfect.
In the eyes of others
i’m coated with make up
the long sleeves i wear
i hide no cuts.
The poison i inject
in my body
it is not drugs
that wears out my body
that flows in my veins
as it crease into my body.
I didn’t pass out from the needles
it was what i had become
it was the need to be perfect
It was the need from the needles.
I must say…
i crave needles and perfection.

There's many people
out in this small world.
Many people are fighting
and others were dying.
But you know.
i feel worthless.
There are things
that i wouldn't be able to do.
I can't go out there and hold a gun
help fight the war our country has endure.
I can't help heal everyone out there
and stop them from dying.
Do you know how i feel?
Not being able to achieve one thing.
I hate myself
not going out in the world and help.
As this world gets smaller
and everything coming together.
Maybe...
i should be hide in the dark.

If you don't like tears,
why must you make me cry.
I barely can see a thing
and this is your excuse!
You make me sick to the pit of mine stomach
I cant stand that look on your face
Why don't you open your eyes and see what you had cause.
If this song was meant for me to cry,
then you mind as well stab me repeatedly.
Your mindless games are always your excuse to say sorry
I feel like a fool forgiving you
I mind as well be dead for every apology i had ever receive from you
Your Excuses are *******
Leave me alone
i don't want to see you ever again
i don't need this at all
i rather cry than be with you
all if this...
mind as well be erase
i regret every time i gave you a chance
I regret for ever dating you
I even regret ever going out with you
Your excuses make me go insane
i see why i'm so depress
Your excuse cause my death.

Slowly...
i had to crawl.
My weak arms
the sounding of alarms.
The hot ground
burning my hands.
I can feel the fan
as i reach for it.
The blisters
are like horrible sores.
I can see the people
stare me down.
I can see...
no hands reaching for me.
The sounds of whispering
the sounds of the alarms.
They are loud
against my fragile ears.
I can;t crawl faster
i can feel the blood
dripping from my knees.
All i want...
is to stand again.
To see
a helping hand
call out to me.
But all i see...
is the emptiness
of being alone in this world.

Stop stabbing me
I'm sorry if i did wrong
My tears hurt
That pain cries
for attention
My eyes are red
Quit this horrible crime
This hurts enough already
STOP LOOKING AT ME
I'm sorry i'm that ugly
Sell me to the streets
if you must
Stop this pain
Its like hot water
spilled on my back
Please i beg you
I'm trying my best
If you leave me alone
I could just die
in my own blood
I'm just...
sorry