Alexis G

Alexis G Jul 2013

She twirls in the golden leaves,
as the blazing sunlight pours down on her.
She feels true joy in that blissful moment,
as if the worries of her life have disappeared completely.
The birds are playing a relaxing tune,
as the grass brushes her bare feet.
Nothing in the world can touch her,
in that moment she feels..
infinite.

What will happen when she sleeps away?
Reality comes comes rushing back,
the clouds come rolling in.
The soft grass beneath her feet becomes cold
as she drops back down to reality,
to the world that she has grown to know.

Alexis G Jul 2013

Addicted.

Some call it crazy
Some call it sick
But I think it's freedom
The pain is fierce but quick.

Some say that it's a sin
Just a little to risk
But it helps release the pain
that I go through every day
The blade is sharp and cold
As it runs across my skin
Leaving me to ponder
And decide how deep I cut in.

The icy chill running down my spine
Makes me feel at ease
I no longer feel like a coward
******* up on everything with every breath I breathe.
But some days I want to stop
Feeling like everything's wrong.
Trying to let go of the blade
Sometimes I can but not for long
It's like I'm addicted to the pain
The feeling takes refuge in my veins
Leaving me feeling confused and alone.
Wiping at the streaked tears that seem to be stained
Burned into my skin forever
Becoming a part that I cannot escape.
Sometimes I just want to hurt all over
To scream at the top of my lungs until they break
I want to escape from my sadness
It's taking over me.
Why can't I just rest?
Why won't it let me be?
...
I just want to be free.

A bit of a dark one, originally written a week ago.

Alexis G Jul 2013

Acceptance.

I'm sorry
I'm not pretty,
skinny,
or perfect.

I stare
at everyone walking by,
wishing that I could have
their qualities.
I hate myself
everyday
for who I am...
because I'm not
perfect

One day,
everything changed.
I would walk with
my head held high.
Smiling.

I embraced my flaws.

I was able to look
at myself,
and accept
everything
that I am.

At that moment,
I truly
loved
myself.
And for a change,
I was happy.
Truly. Happy.

This poem gets a little bit deeper and also shows you my insecure side, it's a little bit old. It shows here that I was able to accept my flaws.. well I guess everything has changed because I hate everything about myself. But you're beautiful and I love you <3
Alexis xoxo

Alexis G Jul 2013

Together.

All that's inside of my head are
memories of you.
It's all that's left,
now that you're gone
Your smile,
your laugh,
your love.
All. Gone.
As tears fall, escaping my eyes
I look up.
And I imagine you there
smiling down at me.

I break.

A proper goodbye wasn't even said.
Our last hug.
last laugh.
last meal,
last everything
is now all just a memory.

I miss you,
more than ever before.
You showed me how to love,
and helped me believe
in life,
in myself...
And now you're gone.

Someday, I will see you up there.
It'll be like old times,
we'll smile and laugh,
once again.
Together.

— The End —