Hope for them is all burned out like prayer candles after everyone leaves the church.
Sent up to God and soon forgotten.
They eventually fade in the same way the smoke does from a charred wick.
Thick and curling, pervasive even…to only dissipate as quickly as it rose.
Just a tiny flutter in the curtain.
A transient whisper in the silence.
Like the ripples in a calm pool they come and go almost unmoving to the taut surface.
Easily forgotten as the wrinkles smooth themselves out.
The pool will not change for more than an instant.
It will never remember that tiny ripple.
The memory of those who move the calm for a small moment is held only in the minds of those who notice.
It is written there, and only there, in stone.
It is a forgotten etching but thus it still exists.
It is etched there forever.
At least it has a humble home.

Latte. Overpriced, over heated.
One man. PowerPoint and chemicals.
Two girls. Hugs and squeals. “this girl lives here” hands to chest. “is he your boyfriend?”
One couple. One table. Pressed so close, what’s the point of the table? Touching at knees and elbows as if that will have to do until their whole bodies press again.
Eye twitch, depressing news of the times, scalded tongue. Music in my ear. Too loud? Not loud enough to drown you out. Too loud to read tiny words.
Rainstorm. Now we meet again.

Today I skipped class just to keep dreaming about you.
I barely do that anymore…dream.
And here you are. In my house. In my life.
I dreamt of our first kiss.
It was so slow and hesitant.
Like we just didn’t know after the years and the space between.
It was sweet at first.
Our lips just so gently touching, brushing and yes I was blushing.
Then you wanted me. And I wanted you.
And you kissed me so hard almost like you could kiss right through me.
Like you had missed so much that we had to catch up all the way into next week.
And I told you just how much I still care, about how much I think about you even to this day.
You started crying and holding me and apologizing.
You told me you made such a mistake by doing what you did, by leaving me behind.
And we drifted off into a happy blissful place…in one another’s arms.
It never felt so right.
And then I woke up… Clutching a pillow to myself like it was you.
Oh such a dream to have. Such a dream…what a dream…just a dream.

I can drive down those empty country roads and just be alone with my thoughts but truly, my memories.
I can open up boxes that I never would before.
I can explore possibilities and what ifs, had my river changed direction.
I can be alone with the sadness.
The kind of sadness that sticks to your ribs.
It fills me up and over the edge.
It seeps out of me like swirls of tendrils and branches. It permeates the very air I breathe, taints the water I drink.
It puts clouds over the sun in my days and flips my world upside down in a matter of moments.
Mere moments, the threads and shreds that my life hangs on.
Like that spoken hope that dangles from a string, the moments are what dangle on such delicate lines from my life, just like a child’s mobile.
I pull them to myself and let my thoughts run free…
What if the happiness had not stopped there?
Does it not have to be so abrupt?
And then it all comes back to me, I gather it all back up and put it back in boxes.

But things didn’t happen like that… and well, thats just the way it is…

As I pull into the driveway, I am right back where I started.