i'm full of inspiration for whatever reason.
And i feel like writing prose.
But my sentences keep getting shorter
and my thoughts keep getting longer
but they can't seem to string themselves together.

It's early evening in the mountains somewhere
and i don't know where,
but i'm sure you're there.
thinking something wise,
being everything you are
with everything you've got.

i think i miss you.

but i'm not sure
and i don't know how.
because i don't even know you.

maybe because when i look in the mirror,
i see you.

i know this is about more than just me,
but the sangha insists i tell my story:
I was just a little girl when I realized
that, truth be told,
we're more than just bodies.

we're bigger, we're wiser
it's all so much more surreal.
To suggest
that all I know is what I've lived,
it seems ridiculous.

I feel older.

It shouldn't be a surprise
that of all these years,
a peace has been made
that people are starting to tap into.

Finally, I've found my beliefs;
and it's peaceful.

Changing endlessly, aggressively
To keep up with the times
To alert myself that this isn’t just a high
With ticking time bombs in your words
And a lapse of judgement on my hands
I can’t get enough of you, soulless man.

I want not to go without you
But refuse to tell you so
My addiction has taken over my ability to stand.

I wish nothing less than happiness
But with undertones of compassion
For the ones who built a home.

My mind won’t stop its racing
I beg for your reply

The meter reads expired
I’m begging for spare change

Why I’m so wrapped up in this silly game--
Ceaseless wonder with anecdotes
Of **** that doesn’t matter,
Collapsing barriers that don’t exist
Just to see you wander.

Some made up mess of a mind I have,
Full of gold and glory;
That’s nothing what you think it is,
I’ve nothing left to offer.

Now I'm established,
my limbs are all full grown,
roots are firmly planted.

without expectation
I skip to the next page,
just another day.

I wait,
but you don't call.
figures.

For whatever reason
I seem to have lost taste
for this flavor of love.

I'm ready for change,
i'm over all the frill and fuss--
Nothing ever different.

But lemon drops
and sugar plum fairies
put me to right to sleep.

And now that it is morning,
and I have since risen,
Let's go to sleep.

falling
and
falling
yet
stuck
and
lost
in the depth
of your mind
your thoughts
play across your lips
as a smile
dances across mine
nothing
is more captivating
than your smile

the road is all twisted
and it changes things
to know that people are reading
people are seeing
what i’ve seen first hand
to think that one might
just reach out and touch
what was always so clear
but was always too much
what i’m feeling, i’m yearning
i’ve got such a rush
such a high i’m mistaking
for not knowing enough
to think all the things
we could change together
if only, if only
we were made for each other

I'm getting to know you
without your knowing.

I'm hearing your name
without my calling.

I know its an illusion,
but I'm mystified.

And to think I didn't believe in trust.

what i've learned is what i've grown
planted seeds and soils sewn

what i know is that i've grown
and now my self, i'd like to show

i'm learning and i'm laughing
about things that i was thinking

and i'm sharing, whether or not you're caring,
because of the mess i'm no longer making
the dreams i'm not pursuing
the things that i'm not keeping

and the lives that are worth living
all the colors that i'm seeing

and i'm just getting started