If you ask me why I have so many scars
I will tell you the truth.
I have been weak.
I have been strong.
But sometimes
You need to see blood.

I always wondered what you would do
If I walked away from our  friendship.
But now, I don't have to wonder.
You walked away for me.

I loved you so much
But you still left me.
For a girl who would give you what you wanted.

I cried over you
But you never shed a tear over me.
Because you were too bust being 'entertained' by another girl.

I cut over you
But you only smiled at the scars they left.
Because you started to 'love' your new girl.

How many times do I have to be
Afraid?
How many times do I have to
Bleed out because of you?

How many times do I have to feel
My heart break?
How many times do I have to
Love and lose you?

How many times do I have to watch
You flaunt your new girl?
How many times do I have to
Cry over you?

I never knew that you were hurting
Until you sent me that last message.

As I read that one simple word
It finally dawned on me that you were breaking.

I was so afraid and worried
That I was too late to help you.

And I was too late because
By the time I burst into your room, you were almost gone.

I tried to stop the bleeding,
But it was too late, no, I was too late.

As you died you weakly made me promise
To stay alive, if not for myself, for him.

I should never have made that promise
Because everyday I am one step closer to breaking it.

I told you that I would break one day
But you never paid that fact any attention.

You said "Just be strong,
That will get you through it all."

I tried so hard
That I could not see that you were suffering and breaking, too.

When I finally figured it out,
I was too late to help you.

You, my very best friend, was
Gone.

You could not see that there was a better way
And now, you're......  Gone.

And, still I grieve for
You.

My heart is racing
With fear
As I wait for the first hit.

I don't remember how this started
But
I do know how it will end.

After the last hit falls,
I will crawl defeated, to my room
And drown my sorrow in alcohol.