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Silence
In a room full of people I can't be heard
It's rare that I can captivate attention
Just drowned out by my lack of interest

I enter a room and you are unphased
Quick to rush to the next subject
I am not important enough
Whereas once you'd carry me
Told me I was rare
Now you have so much power my rareness is unimportant
Unphased
You remind me of being 13.
That immature crush that takes centuries to progress because I become too shy. So we catch each other at random, and I'm always excited to do so. Always planning what I'll do and say next time, but when it comes around...
My eyes just look or I turn away too fast. Somehow your arms always open at the same time each day though. And mine always fall right below your ears. So soft those arms are around my waist...
Those hugs I used to pray for when I was 13, except now I'm wearing a nightgown and feel this hug more than ever.
Maybe one conversation a day.
Always at least one hug.
Thirteen again.
Yet it's fun, secretly so intrigued.
Little do they know I have small fantasies imagining what life would be like if he were mine.
Not one he in particular, but just someone.
He could not hear me
At my normal tone and pitch
Then I imitated a man
And he suddenly heard.
It trips me out that men really cannot hear me until I imitate a man.
Each day that passes, I am more proud to be a woman.
I witness the sexism I face in the most basic of conversations but women I aspire to be more like motivate me, remind me
We hold so much power.
I may not have marched with Angela Davis or Audre Lorde,

But a girl asked if I thought she was pretty today.
As I applied man made make up to her face so maybe just maybe someone would notice her like I did,
I thought of how this response could change her outlook.
"Yes. Do you like your hair and make up?"
"Yes. Do you like it?"
"I think you're perfect."

See in that moment no man could tell me that it's easy being a woman or that I'm too uptight or take my job too seriously because these girls look up to me. Knocking on my door for whatever reason because they trust me. They listen when I'm stern and embrace my humor. As a woman I am able to tell girls they are beautiful as they look at me as inspiration. Moments like this I am Audre or Angela simply because I am making a difference, shaping young women. I hold so much power.
Sister
By no relation except
The melanin in our skin
The plumpness of our lips
The cocoa of our eyes
The span of our hips


Sister
Except she didn't recognize me
So when I scolded her she didn't see the love in it
She was defensive
Mistook me for the enemy
Although I was trying to be her shield

It took a while
To separate her sister
From "*****"
A few interventions
For her eyes to open
For her mouth to pause from
words of venom to
listen to me explain
I am her sister by no relation.
A student of mine flipped out when I made her change because her clothes were inappropriate, calling me a *****. She got an intervention and later gave me the sincerest apology. I explained by calling me "*****" she's only leaving men to feel it's acceptable to do the same. I am her sister, her mentor. I forgave and felt so good.
It's very possible that situations can embody a person. Drown them in their glory. It is just as possible I am jealous, jealous that you are so certain and continue to play a role as someone I do not know. It is very possible a slight crush has risen just because you're always around. It is possible the timing is just odd because I just so happen to be available. It is possible you know I am vulnerable and will take advantage of the moments I pay you mind because you feel my eyes glued waiting. So it is possible you pick and choose what you say, who you say it to, and when you do so. It is possible this has become the new you.
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