You are in
every poem
I’m afraid to
write, in every
thought I dare
not say aloud,
in every moment
I become short
of breath, and
every deep sigh.
you stay hidden
on the edge of my
teeth waiting to
meet my lips and
become words,
the unexplained
shiver in my spine,
and the tightness
in my throat from
trying to swallow
you down.
you are love.
you are poison.

You are that acidic bile
in the bottom of my throat
no matter how much I try
to swallow you down along
with the lies I tell myself at night
the thought of you seems to
need to come up for air
punishing my body for the
unwanted thoughts of you
that I can still taste on my tongue.

The distance of the fall
may be long for some,
and short for others.
Do not succumb to
the fear in your chest
instead embrace it,
transform it,
find the balance in
it’s innate chaos
and hope that
your anticipation of
being reached for and
caught by sturdy arms is
not a fallacy.

1-4
1.
I had a dream last
night, you had gave me the great
pleasure of tracing

2.
The lenght of your neck
down to your body with my
calloused unsure hands,

3.
I swear if only
for a small moment in space
we were in perfect

4.
tune and you hit all
of the notes when my fingers
touched between your spaces.

Perhaps, I tried to hard
to hard to love you
I wasn't what you wanted
or needed
now I don't know what I want
or need
there is a misplaced feeling
in not knowing yourself anymore.

In the journey of finding myself
I found you
in my path
Im not sure if you were a roadblock,
just a bump in the road to surpass,
Or if we were meant to intersect.

Sadness is a wind,
that blows you right off your feet.
the pain cuts like knives.

Before I met you,
I could look up
towards the sky
and see the
possibilities
in the spaces
kept between
the stars
now, all I see is the
loneliness in the
shadows
streched in between
them.

As I child I was always told
to never hold my tongue
I was taught to speak my mind
even if the words came out through
delicately clenched teeth
but I was also taught to put thought
into everything I do and that
there is also a time and place
to speak your piece

I met a girl who
I swear was like the wind
always slipping through
my outstretched fingers.
she could make your
blood run cold
all while
warming your heart
in her silence.
she had the ocean
in her voice
and the waves in her
fingertips always leaving
me breathless in her
movement.
there wasn’t just fire
in her lips
no,
It was in her smile,
and her tongue,
and in her gaze
that spread through
your lungs and always
seemed like it was aimed
directely to the center of
your chest.
when she leaves
she’ll go with two things,
a goodbye
and your smile.

I crave to be your safe,
leave with me secrets.
I will be the ear at 2am,
The seer of the fragments in you
that no one views.
Here, is where I will keep you.
I will be the vault you send
your whispered words to.
Send to me your silent
conversations where
nothing is spoken but,
everything conveyed.

When I die
bury me in words
beautiful enough
to make me believe
I lived a benevolent life.

For a brief moment
with a pen in hand
I become god
If I choose it to be so
you’d all bend to my wim,
with every pen stroke I’ll
make brush stokes that
forge fields of dreams
that are overseen by
boundless galaxies riddled
full of stars that never
got their wishes of being wished upon,
the moon in all it’s heavenly bound glory
would set depthless ocean tops ablaze
with its luminescence and all of the beings
I create would live on the earth as if they realized
this is the only one they’ll get.