Sadness is a wind,
that blows you right off your feet.
the pain cuts like knives.

In the journey of finding myself
I found you
in my path
Im not sure if you were a roadblock,
just a bump in the road to surpass,
Or if we were meant to intersect.

As I child I was always told
to never hold my tongue
I was taught to speak my mind
even if the words came out through
delicately clenched teeth
but I was also taught to put thought
into everything I do and that
there is also a time and place
to speak your piece

You are that acidic bile
in the bottom of my throat
no matter how much I try
to swallow you down along
with the lies I tell myself at night
the thought of you seems to
need to come up for air
punishing my body for the
unwanted thoughts of you
that I can still taste on my tongue.

For a brief moment
with a pen in hand
I become god
If I choose it to be so
you’d all bend to my wim,
with every pen stroke I’ll
make brush stokes that
forge fields of dreams
that are overseen by
boundless galaxies riddled
full of stars that never
got their wishes of being wished upon,
the moon in all it’s heavenly bound glory
would set depthless ocean tops ablaze
with its luminescence and all of the beings
I create would live on the earth as if they realized
this is the only one they’ll get.

Perhaps, I tried to hard
to hard to love you
I wasn't what you wanted
or needed
now I don't know what I want
or need
there is a misplaced feeling
in not knowing yourself anymore.