I am tired behind my eyes
and in the spaces between my toes

the aching melancholy  
wanders into my body
muddles my mind
leaves my throat closed and dry

cold with lack of inspiration
sad songs make me limp
a heart infected with
chords of the past

I hunger for relief
from this exhaustion
heavy and weak
I succumb

I choose a table in the middle
To feel like I'm part of the rush.
Regulars are identified by their silence
Receiving their drinks without need for a word.
I stumble over my order...
One small? tall? short? Fat ameri-frappe please hold the dairy...
I'm certain I did it wrong
Every hole in the wall has its own lingo
To distinguish those in the know
From those who wandered in

I'm a wanderer, without a doubt
The man behind me is impatient
He's one of the silent ones
Unsmiling in his dress shirt
I wish I were a real person like him
Who knew to say short instead of small
And didn't sit alone at tables
Writing phrases no one cares to read.

She dabs on a bit of lipstick
To show that she's not sad
Walking down the rain drenched concrete
Passers-by are almost fooled
Until they see her eyes

Those two always betray her
Red and framed with sparkling tears
Can't be bothered to wipe them away

Alone on a stool
Head in hand
The red has stained her glass
With kisses she never meant to give

Other patrons try to cheer her
Offering to buy her rounds
As if drinking such bitterness
Could make a person smile

What had she expected to find in such a place as this?
She'd hoped for company
And encountered only lust

She drives like wildfire
Fast and uncontrolled
Unevenly coating the pavement
with her angry fumes
Her head is falling to her chest
Small salty diamonds
Drip onto her lap
Her hands are burning
Arms are aching
With the inclination to veer off to the left
Hard and with great intention
To end the night in flames

The colors are melting today
Into pools of muddy goop
It's funny to see the trees usually so loudly green
now grey
But not like in winter
No-today they are not even grey

The grey has also slid into the puddle
Left is only a void where the trees used to be
for without their colors outlined against the blue
(now voided) sky
their forms cannot be identified

I wander through this forest of trees that no longer exist
Just a memory of a woods that used to be
How strange to walk amongst mere impressions
The smell of pine has faded with the green and left faint traces
to cling only in my nostrils

Soon, I know my colors will also join the wet mud
now sticking in the treads of my shoes
They will run down my neck, onto my belly,
and trace drops down my legs
All the brown and beautiful blues
my pink lips and even my heart

All will become a void
As the forest exists only in my mind
So shall I
colorless
and chaotic

She was light
not just in ounces and pounds
but in the way she moved

You know what I mean
a person who can elevate the mood
of a room
with a word
or smile

The pills made her heavy
not just in the numbers
of sizes and scales
but in the way she became still

The deluge of tablets and capsules
knocked her down
off her stage
onto her knees

left her weeping
begging anyone who would listen
to make her light again
to dry her face

soaking from the water
from her eyes and from the flood
now unable to be without
her daily dose

dependency holds her hand
a parent who is afraid
to let the child be free
Worried she will float away